-
Week Nine
The Lists and
Positive
Self-Talk
My Yellow List
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List.
1. ________________________________
2. ________________________________
3. ________________________________
4 _________________________________
5,_________________________________
6. ________________________________
7. ________________________________
8. ________________________________
9. ________________________________
© Now that your abstinent muscle is getting stronger, you “could” be finding that you're not resorting to using your Yellow List as much. If this is true, pat yourself on the back and shout 'Hooray!' (If this is not your truth, you “could” back up and repeat Weeks Six, Seven and Eight).
My No Matter What Red List- Week Nine
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© We would not walk in front of a speeding car, but we run right up to food that can lay us flat, sometimes forever. Please remember, your life may depend on your staying out of your No Matter What Red List Foods. I have stayed away from my No Matter What Red List one day at a time for a long time and my No Matter What Red List is very long because it has been accumulating for over 6,935 days).
© Keep in mind that your addict never comes to your house uninvited. Therefore, I’m encouraging you to play detective this week to see if any of your binge foods are still lurking around in your cupboards, fridge or freezer just waiting to invite your disease/addict into your house. If you find any, practice some eckless wasting instead of reckless eating and throw them away.
Your Green List - Week Nine
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to include your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch vegetables at home or away will remain twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables at home or away will be the same as last week, exactly sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals. .
6. Enjoying that in your “heart” and body you are becoming Thin and
Serene.
© I find that I usually get out of something exactly what I put into it. For the last year and a half, I would get an A+ at putting my recovery first. Up until that time I bounced between a B+ and a C, and some of those days were pretty painful. I don’t think I went any lower than a C because I was able to stay out of the sugar No Matter What at all costs. That’s why I put such an emphasis on putting your recovery and this program first. The reason I would give myself an A+ for the last year and a half is because I have finally quit fighting my addict and have learned how to overpower her with exactness, as in being willing to weigh my food all the time No Matter What.
© Keep in mind that I’m not asking anything of you that I’m not doing myself and have been doing for many years. Remember, I did say you need to be willing to follow most (if not all) of my suggestions. Only if you follow “al”l of my suggestions will you attain “all” of what I have, which is a life beyond my wildest dreams.
What Takes the Place of the Food?
At times people have asked me what’s significant enough to take the place of the food, and I say “the moment”. By “the moment,” I mean, everything feeling like it’s enough and/or doing something and thinking of nothing else. Up until I entered my recovery journey at thirty three, I truly believe that I can count on one hand the seconds I spent in “the moment.” For most of my pre-recovery life, I was either thinking about the past or focusing on what the future might hold. Now I can say that I’m “in the moment” close to eighty percent of the time. I know this because that is where joy resides. By joy, I mean a” Low Delight Level.” When you start feeling delighted at things that you would have not noticed before, you have acquired a “low delight level” and found “the moment“.
Let’s think about earlier when I spoke about food being not only number one, but also numbers one through ten in my life. I’m going to now share with you my secret about how to get yourself doing numbers eleven, twelve and thirteen, etc. when you would rather be eating.
In the beginning I had to be realistic knowing that for the most part these things were not on a daily basis more important than eating. What I suggest is that you think about as many activities as you can, that you like or at least don’t mind doing, that aren’t food related. Make sure that some of them are things you could do right now. I will share with you as many as I can think of to give you ideas. Remember, they don’t have to be things you love, but just don’t mind doing.
Mopping my kitchen (This I don’t mind doing and I love the results after it’s done). The other day I even bought floor wax and polished it, too. Even thinking about how gorgeous it looks now brings a smile to my face)
Putting really good smelling lotion on my hands
Listening to a few of my favorite songs
Dancing to one of my favorite songs. (I love this one)
Brushing and flossing my teeth
Coloring, especially with brand new crayons
Surfing on the computer
Vacuuming a quick run over or a long one
Calling someone on the phone and asking how he or she is doing
Working in the yard
Washing my car
Taking the car to get gas
Going for a walk
Taking a nap
Watching TV
Doing a load of laundry
Folding and putting away a load of laundry (Especially when they’re warm clothes because now that I’m not over 200 pounds I get cold easily)
Doing one of my stretching DVDs
Going for a bike ride
Running an errand while listening to a book on tape in the car
Reading trashy books
Reading not so trashy books
Polishing my nails
Cleaning out my Beta fishie’s tank (I think it makes him happy too; sometimes it’s nice to choose things that will make others happy too.)
Activity 9
I bet you can guess what it’s going to be. Yes, it’s your turn to make a What Takes the Place of Food List. You are more than welcome to borrow any of mine that sound good. I thought of twenty-four, so you need to think of at least 15. Remember, if you get stuck borrow some of mine.
What Takes the Place of Food List?
1. ______________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________
3. ______________________________________________________
4. ______________________________________________________
5. ______________________________________________________
6. ______________________________________________________
7. ______________________________________________________
8. ______________________________________________________
9. ______________________________________________________
10. ______________________________________________________
11. ______________________________________________________
12. ______________________________________________________
13. ______________________________________________________
14. ______________________________________________________
15. ______________________________________________________
Activity 10
Now for the secret I promised you. I have found that in order for the above list to be more import than food, I have to be doing them. So the next time your addict tries to get you to eat when you would rather not, pick one of the above activities and do it for five or ten minutes and see if what I’m telling you works for you like it does for me. Coaching note: When you understand what I’m talking about with the secret, please e-mail me and share your experience
Now if you do chose to eat,
you for go
any chance of getting any or all of the above Instead this is what you will get.................First of all, you won't want to get out of bed, to go to work, school,whatever.When you do finally get out of that bed, you will feel groggy, as if youhad been drinking all night.You won't "feel" like getting in the shower, getting dressed taking careof your usual routine because you won't have the energy or motivation..(No Matter What Red List foods do that to us!)Then you will begin your plan for the day of how, when and how muchNo Matter What Red List foods can you get to "feel" satisfied.
(Let me remind you that there is not enough)You will arrive at your destination for the day, not able to focus,feeling "fat", feeling disgusted, feeling whatever your addict’disease voicestells you.You won't be able to concentrate on the day at hand because you will bethinking how soon to the next fix..............Oh and by the way, nothing will taste as good as your memory may tellyou, nothing tastes as good as our disease likes to remind us Ever so slowly or maybe right away you will realize oh no, I've lost myNo Matter What Red List day count and I'm in food again.....................I don't think I need to write anymore you get the gist of what I'msaying, Please, please take me seriously, You do not want to eat off your No Matter What Red List regardless of what is going on.
You may never make it back..............
Hold on to your No Matter What Red List day count with everything you have,it's truly a precious gift,
that you do not want to give back.........From one who knows all to well what will happen if youtake one JUST ONE bite of food off your No Matter What Red List..........
You do not want to go there, it's not worth it.................
Because remember your disease is doing "push up's",
Just waiting to bring you continued suffering and ultimately death
“Could” It Be
Time to Take
A
NAP!
There’s “Always” Another Meal Coming
(In fact, in a most months I have 90 meals coming and in a year
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a tool that helped me rewrite negative tapes about myself and my life. These negative thoughts blocked me from reaching my goal of having a Thin and Serene Life. I used positive self-talk to counter specific negative thoughts, and to bring me back to myself - to remind me that I am a remarkable human being. Here are some of my favorite positive affirmations:
I love myself.
I can create joy in my life.
.
I am enough.
It is OK to be confused.
It is OK to be upset.
I can say No to people without losing their love.
It is OK to make mistakes.
It is OK to ask for help.
I am surrounded by an abundance of love.
I choose to forgive.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe
I am complete.
I am happy.
I give myself permission to do what I know is best for me.
The more I like myself, the more others like themselves.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
There is room for love in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I have value just the way I am.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I am responsible for my own Spiritual Growth.
I know what is best for me and I act on it.
I trust my inner being to lead me on the right path.
My defense mechanisms are no longer necessary because I am a wonderful person.
I control my attitude.
I am a Divine being.
I have a right to say NO to people without losing their love.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me,
including myself.
I deserve credit for my successes and accomplishments .
I give myself permission to not care about what others think.
I am becoming powerful.
I am a winner whether I like it or not.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with them.
I pat myself on the back regularly.
I am worthy of a good hip, hip hooray.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am fully alive.
I trust myself completely.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I am at peace with my Universe
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
I always have enough money for all that I need.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I accept myself completely.
I love and accept myself.
I acknowledge all the pain I have endured and release it.
I am the only one who knows my “truth” and how to live it.
I acknowledge the unique and special person that I am.
I have given myself permission to be at one with the Universe.
I am constantly amazed at the magnificence that is me.
It is OK for others to say No to me - it does not mean they do not love me.
I am unique, loving, loved, and free.
I surrender to my higher Self.
The power within me is greater than whatever is in front of me.
What others think of me is none of my business.
My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and everlasting.
I nurture my inner child by loving her and allowing her to heal.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love.
The more honest I am with those around me, the more love is returned to me.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I do not fear being unhealthy because I know that I control my own body.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I spent two full years of my recovery bringing positive energy into my life by embracing positive affirmations. I worked with them in several different ways. For awhile I wrote affirmations daily, then I wrote them only when I was feeling down or in stressful situations. One thing I did habitually was to write the affirmations that really called to me at any specific time.
Activity
As a daily activity write at least ten affirmations that really talk to you. Coaching note: Send me your daily list of affirmations.
To succeed in my program all you have to do is absolutely never ever give up.
Most of us have experienced too much of quitting. Usually what we do is expect too much and give up when we do not meet our own expectations. This can become a vicious cycle.
As I have said before, the answer is simple; it may not be easy but it is simple. If you truly want something, it will happen. It will take an extreme amount of patience, very hard work, much struggling and extensive time, but you can do it. Keep in mind that all you have to do to succeed in my program is to get up more often than you fall down.
I realize that a journey of this nature is not always straight forward. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and one or two steps back. I’ve put my program together with the hope that you won’t have too many setbacks, but even if you do, all you have to do is to keep trudging down the road and you will eventually get to the end as long as you don’t give up.
Keep in mind that negative energy produces more negative energy. Fortunately, the opposite is also true, positive energy builds positive energy and my guide is filled with positive energy. Most of my activities are directed at helping you keep your glass half full instead of half empty. A positive attitude will propel you forward eventually making all things possible
Here's a little message about thinking you have to do my program perfectly. I have never considered myself a perfectionist, but at one point in my journey I realized I was getting very frustrated because I was not progressing as fast as I thought I ”should” be. (There I go “shoulding” on myself again). Then I realized I did have a perfectionist side to me. What I finally recognized was that “for me” mastery is not a ten, it’s an eight.
I was feeling like I was not getting anywhere because I was not experiencing a number 10 mastery in the situations I was working on. Let me give you an example so you can understand more fully what I’m talking about. I have always struggled with being insecure, and after working on it for about a year I realized I still felt insecure quite often. Of course this made me feel like I was making little or no progress. Then I examined the situation a little more closely and saw that yes, I still felt insecure at times, but what had changed was how I acted when I felt that way. That had changed tremendously. Thus my “aha” that mastery is an eight not a ten. This new understanding was the turning of another corner. What all this mean is that if you feel you are at a level six or seven in relationship to change, that’s almost mastery. So you have most likely come a lot further then you originally thought before reading this paragraph.
Activity
On the lines below write down as many areas as you can think of where you are making progress toward becoming a Thin and Serene you.
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
(Now that I have said it’s not important to be perfect in working my program, I need to say that there is one area where you do need to be perfect and that is: “KEEP YOUR NO MATTER WHAT Red LIST FOODS IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
Never
Never
Never
Never
Give Up
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
8
Week Eight
The Lists and
Being a Victim
My Yellow list
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List. You do not have to fill in all the spaces.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
9._______________________________
© Again your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eight
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© When a life circumstance crops up, don’t forget to write it down and slip it into your life pockets as a reminder that we don’t eat over it because LIFE'S IN ONE POCKET AND FOOD'S IN THE OTHER AND WE DON’T MIX.
© Today is the day. If you aren’t willing to do it today; you probably won’t be willing to do it tomorrow. So ask for the willingness to continue doing it “just for today."
© I know I have another binge in me, but I’m not sure if I have another recovery. Hence, I have given my all “one day at a time” because I don’t want to test the "Do I have another recovery?” theory. Everything… and I mean everything, I’m asking you to do I have done myself and most likely still do.
Considering you kept my program, I’m gong to assume you are willing or at the least want to be ‘willing” to embrace what I’m asking you to do. Whichever component you are struggling with is the very one you need to embrace the most No Matter What "just for today!"
© Weighing your vegetables is the second most important thing next to your No Matter What Red List in your fight against evicting your addict and taking control and accomplishing a Thin and Serene Way of Life. Drastic situations take “consistent” radical measures and I don’t think you would have purchased my program if your situation were not a matter of life and/or death. Eating yourself to death is a slow painful way to go.
Your Green List - Week Eight
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch vegetables remain twelve exact ounces for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables remain sixteen exact ounces for this week.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
6. Knowing in your “heart” that you are becoming Thin and Serene.
© You may find yourself resisting this No Matter What part. It’s impossible for me to put into words the importance of accepting this part; it is the core foundation as to how I have remained Thin and Serene for over nineteen years. If you want what I have, you are going to have to embrace it. (In order for me to keep my addict/disease from making my food decisions for me and to enjoy complete “freedom” around my food I have chosen to weight everything I eat. I have found that sometimes I have to do “A” to get “Z”.)
Being a Victim No More
In this section, I’m going to share with you many happenings in my life that made certain that I stayed in the victim role (resentments, people-pleasing, my past, my needs and fault-finding, etc.)
Before recovery I was like the ball in the pinball machine that I spoke of earlier,
but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball does not have a life and neither did I. I was controlled by and a victim of whatever pinball wizard was interfering with my life at the time. I never acted on anything, all I did was react to what I perceived others (the pinball wizards) were doing to me. During that time I thought I had a life, but as I look back now, I see I was never 'acting on' just 'reacting to.' This was not any way to live. Again, I’m one of the lucky ones and a victim no more.
There’s nothing I can do to change my past, but with the help of what I have learned in the last nineteen years, I am able to change the ending. I shudder to think of what the ending could have been like if I had not started my trial and error journey nineteen years ago. With the help of my program, you, too, have a chance to change your ending. All it takes is a ton of “willingness” and miles of footwork. Let’s get on with the footwork!
What others think of me is not my business. What others think of me is not my business… What others think of me is not my business…
That saying was paramount in removing me from the victim role. (Now I did have to say it many times a day for over twenty-one days before I began to live it). Remember, twenty-one days makes a habit!
What I’m about to share with you in regard to people-pleasing and worrying about what others think of me has changed my life. Perhaps it will change yours, too.
Of all the people I know, thirty-three percent are going to like me and probably consider me a friend; another thirty-three percent are going to think I’m all right; and the last thirty-three percent are not going to like me, no matter what. My job is to make sure I’m not trying to get that last thirty three percent to like me at the expense of the percent that already do.
Before I read this, that’s exactly what I spent my life doing, trying to figure out what I had done to make a certain person dislike me. Now I know I probably I did nothing wrong. They are just part of the thirty-three percent that aren’t going to like me, no matter what I do. What a relief to know that it’s them, not me; and I can focus all my energy on my friends
After I read this I realized, that for me, it was true. For example, if I meet ten people, three of them I like right off, three of them are all right and three of them, for no good reason, I just don’t like. Now, I can’t change the world in regard to this, but I can change me; whenever I notice I don’t like someone and have no good reason, I work on moving them into the all right category. I don’t do this for them, I do it for me because it takes energy…negative energy to dislike someone especially when it's for no good reason. I only have so much energy and I refuse to waste any of it negatively. Plus, I believe what goes around, comes around.
Resentments
When I have resentments they make me a victim to whomever or whatever I am resentful towards. Before my journey, I used to run tapes through my mind daily of all the people who I felt had wronged me. They were probably happily waltzing on with their lives while I was mentally ruminating over how they wronged me. Not only would the mental tapes not allow me forget, but the replaying of them amplified it to the point that some of the resentment overtook my life. I had a friend who even went a step further by keeping a written file of her resentments.
Our Needs
Now I want to talk about being a victim to our needs, especially when I used to think it was someone else’s job to meet all of mine. What a liberating day it was when I learned that "I’m the only one whose job it is to meet my needs.” Nowadays, others meet my needs, but I also know it’s not their job to do so. In fact, when I quit demanding that they meet my needs, they started meeting them more that ever! But ultimately, it's my job and only my job when it comes to having my needs met. (Oh, it also helps getting my needs met when I am willing to tell others what my needs are.) The ‘What Takes the Place of Food’ section is all about me meeting my needs.
Think back for a moment to the humor section and about how important it is to see the funny side of most situations. I can really visualize the silliness of my before beliefs as I write this section. It’s important to be able to laugh at myself/ourselves. It is very therapeutic.
Another early lesson I learned was that whenever anything goes wrong in my life, no matter what it is, I have to take partial or full ownership (usually much more ownership than I care to admit). Take for example the car wreck I was in recently. Knowing that 'no matter what' at least 1 percent of it was my fault made it impossible for me to be the victim. It has been well over 15 years since I have felt the victim. Being the victim was something I often ate over. Initially, I would whine about why I was always the one who had to say I’m sorry. Being a somewhat selfish person, it made it easier to say I’m sorry when I realized I was only saying sorry for me, so I would not eat over it. Frequently it benefited theother person, but ultimately I wasn't doing it for them.
I used to be a victim even of the weather. The only time of the year I was happy weather-wise was during really warm, early spring days because I felt they were unexpected added bonuses. Warm spring days were wonderful, but I took them for-granted because spring was supposed to be nice. I hated summer because it was often too warm, and I especially despised warm fall days because they were just tricking me because winter was just around the corner.
As I look back now I just shake my head, but that was how my life was. Today I love all kinds of weather. Right now, it’s extremely cold, but for me, it’s beautiful because whenever it gets this cold it’s usually sunny. All I can see is the sunshine. Now I love these kinds of days. Whenever we get days like this, I immediately run out and have my car washed (because it’s so cold even the dirt stays away) and enjoy the sun and how shiny my car looks. I can really see the humor and laugh at myself over the control I used to give even the weather.
When I decided that only I can irritate me, my world started changing. Choosing to believe that it’s someone else’s fault that I’m irritated puts me in the role of the victim, and when I’m in that mode, I have no control over the situation, thus making it impossible for me to move beyond it.
Now when I’m feeling irritated I believe that it’s my problem and no one else’s. In the beginning, it used to bother me, but now It’s totally freeing. If I’m irritated, I can fix it. I don’t have to wait for someone else to quit what they are doing. Now that the blinders are off, I can see how ridiculous my irritation often was. Sometimes my annoyance is connected to another’s actions, but often it’s a direct by-product of my own thinking.
Let me give you an example. The other day while driving home I started thinking about how I was most likely going to walk into a messy house because my husband had the day off. As I was thinking about all this I felt myself becoming irritated. The recovery bell rang inside my head and said, “You're making yourself feel irritated." The voice of reason continued to tell me, "You may not have a choice about whether or not the house is messy, but you do have a choice as to whether you let it get to you or not." When I got home I was in a happy mood and the kitchen being a little messy did not bother me at all and I went on to have a very nice evening. Now if I had walked into the house irritated, unless the kitchen was spotless, I would have let it ruin my whole evening.
In the beginning of my journey, there were times when fearful feelings coupled with loneliness and emptiness were so overwhelming they would momentarily paralyze me and send me running toward the fridge. For me, when that panic set in, all my good intentions would go out the window.
I have found the solution to fear. My experience is that the answer varies depending upon the situation. Sometimes I need to be alone to gather strength especially when all the noise is distracting to me. While at other times, the sound of people helps with me deal with my anxiety. Sometimes I need to sleep or read so I can escape. This momentary respite helps me gain the strength to go on for another day. At other times, I need to connect with another food addict to share experience, strength and hope, reminding me that I’m not alone.
Someone said to me once, “Fear” stands for Face Everything And Recover or False Evidence Appearing Real. Therefore, when I feel “fearful” I have two choices. I can either face it and recover or realize it's just false evidence appearing real.
In summary, I am the only one who can make myself a victim. The only way someone else can do so is for me to allow it. Removing myself from the victim role is for the most part a mental endeavor. I had to change the way I think. To recap here is a list of some of positive modifications I have made:
© Letting go of changing my past
© Making sure that I’m acting on stressors rather than reacting to them;
I want to be The Pinball Wizard.
© Knowing that “What others think of me is not my business."
What matters is what I think of me.
© Realizing that I can’t please everyone no matter what I do,
so I concentrate on those who are pleased just by "me" being “me."
© Only disliking people if I a have valid reasons
© Focusing on creating positive as opposed to negative energy
© Knowing that resentments only hurt me
© Understanding that it’s ultimately my job to meet my own needs
© Being willing to say I’m sorry even when the other person is technically at fault
© Realizing that when I feel irritated, its my problem, and I have
the power to change it.
© If all else fails, I take a nap.
Activity
Write 400 to 500 words about how you put yourself in the victim role.
Coaching note: send the paper to me.
I have found that the longer my food is in order, the more No Matter What Red List days I have; and the more exact I am with my food weighing, the easier it is to alter my inner self.
What Others
Think Of Me
Is Not
My Business
Fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Fear is:
Face
Everything
And
Recover
I’m the
Pinball
Wizard!
The Lists and
Being a Victim
My Yellow list
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List. You do not have to fill in all the spaces.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
9._______________________________
© Again your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eight
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© When a life circumstance crops up, don’t forget to write it down and slip it into your life pockets as a reminder that we don’t eat over it because LIFE'S IN ONE POCKET AND FOOD'S IN THE OTHER AND WE DON’T MIX.
© Today is the day. If you aren’t willing to do it today; you probably won’t be willing to do it tomorrow. So ask for the willingness to continue doing it “just for today."
© I know I have another binge in me, but I’m not sure if I have another recovery. Hence, I have given my all “one day at a time” because I don’t want to test the "Do I have another recovery?” theory. Everything… and I mean everything, I’m asking you to do I have done myself and most likely still do.
Considering you kept my program, I’m gong to assume you are willing or at the least want to be ‘willing” to embrace what I’m asking you to do. Whichever component you are struggling with is the very one you need to embrace the most No Matter What "just for today!"
© Weighing your vegetables is the second most important thing next to your No Matter What Red List in your fight against evicting your addict and taking control and accomplishing a Thin and Serene Way of Life. Drastic situations take “consistent” radical measures and I don’t think you would have purchased my program if your situation were not a matter of life and/or death. Eating yourself to death is a slow painful way to go.
Your Green List - Week Eight
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch vegetables remain twelve exact ounces for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables remain sixteen exact ounces for this week.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
6. Knowing in your “heart” that you are becoming Thin and Serene.
© You may find yourself resisting this No Matter What part. It’s impossible for me to put into words the importance of accepting this part; it is the core foundation as to how I have remained Thin and Serene for over nineteen years. If you want what I have, you are going to have to embrace it. (In order for me to keep my addict/disease from making my food decisions for me and to enjoy complete “freedom” around my food I have chosen to weight everything I eat. I have found that sometimes I have to do “A” to get “Z”.)
Being a Victim No More
In this section, I’m going to share with you many happenings in my life that made certain that I stayed in the victim role (resentments, people-pleasing, my past, my needs and fault-finding, etc.)
Before recovery I was like the ball in the pinball machine that I spoke of earlier,
but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball does not have a life and neither did I. I was controlled by and a victim of whatever pinball wizard was interfering with my life at the time. I never acted on anything, all I did was react to what I perceived others (the pinball wizards) were doing to me. During that time I thought I had a life, but as I look back now, I see I was never 'acting on' just 'reacting to.' This was not any way to live. Again, I’m one of the lucky ones and a victim no more.
There’s nothing I can do to change my past, but with the help of what I have learned in the last nineteen years, I am able to change the ending. I shudder to think of what the ending could have been like if I had not started my trial and error journey nineteen years ago. With the help of my program, you, too, have a chance to change your ending. All it takes is a ton of “willingness” and miles of footwork. Let’s get on with the footwork!
What others think of me is not my business. What others think of me is not my business… What others think of me is not my business…
That saying was paramount in removing me from the victim role. (Now I did have to say it many times a day for over twenty-one days before I began to live it). Remember, twenty-one days makes a habit!
What I’m about to share with you in regard to people-pleasing and worrying about what others think of me has changed my life. Perhaps it will change yours, too.
Of all the people I know, thirty-three percent are going to like me and probably consider me a friend; another thirty-three percent are going to think I’m all right; and the last thirty-three percent are not going to like me, no matter what. My job is to make sure I’m not trying to get that last thirty three percent to like me at the expense of the percent that already do.
Before I read this, that’s exactly what I spent my life doing, trying to figure out what I had done to make a certain person dislike me. Now I know I probably I did nothing wrong. They are just part of the thirty-three percent that aren’t going to like me, no matter what I do. What a relief to know that it’s them, not me; and I can focus all my energy on my friends
After I read this I realized, that for me, it was true. For example, if I meet ten people, three of them I like right off, three of them are all right and three of them, for no good reason, I just don’t like. Now, I can’t change the world in regard to this, but I can change me; whenever I notice I don’t like someone and have no good reason, I work on moving them into the all right category. I don’t do this for them, I do it for me because it takes energy…negative energy to dislike someone especially when it's for no good reason. I only have so much energy and I refuse to waste any of it negatively. Plus, I believe what goes around, comes around.
Resentments
When I have resentments they make me a victim to whomever or whatever I am resentful towards. Before my journey, I used to run tapes through my mind daily of all the people who I felt had wronged me. They were probably happily waltzing on with their lives while I was mentally ruminating over how they wronged me. Not only would the mental tapes not allow me forget, but the replaying of them amplified it to the point that some of the resentment overtook my life. I had a friend who even went a step further by keeping a written file of her resentments.
Our Needs
Now I want to talk about being a victim to our needs, especially when I used to think it was someone else’s job to meet all of mine. What a liberating day it was when I learned that "I’m the only one whose job it is to meet my needs.” Nowadays, others meet my needs, but I also know it’s not their job to do so. In fact, when I quit demanding that they meet my needs, they started meeting them more that ever! But ultimately, it's my job and only my job when it comes to having my needs met. (Oh, it also helps getting my needs met when I am willing to tell others what my needs are.) The ‘What Takes the Place of Food’ section is all about me meeting my needs.
Think back for a moment to the humor section and about how important it is to see the funny side of most situations. I can really visualize the silliness of my before beliefs as I write this section. It’s important to be able to laugh at myself/ourselves. It is very therapeutic.
Another early lesson I learned was that whenever anything goes wrong in my life, no matter what it is, I have to take partial or full ownership (usually much more ownership than I care to admit). Take for example the car wreck I was in recently. Knowing that 'no matter what' at least 1 percent of it was my fault made it impossible for me to be the victim. It has been well over 15 years since I have felt the victim. Being the victim was something I often ate over. Initially, I would whine about why I was always the one who had to say I’m sorry. Being a somewhat selfish person, it made it easier to say I’m sorry when I realized I was only saying sorry for me, so I would not eat over it. Frequently it benefited theother person, but ultimately I wasn't doing it for them.
I used to be a victim even of the weather. The only time of the year I was happy weather-wise was during really warm, early spring days because I felt they were unexpected added bonuses. Warm spring days were wonderful, but I took them for-granted because spring was supposed to be nice. I hated summer because it was often too warm, and I especially despised warm fall days because they were just tricking me because winter was just around the corner.
As I look back now I just shake my head, but that was how my life was. Today I love all kinds of weather. Right now, it’s extremely cold, but for me, it’s beautiful because whenever it gets this cold it’s usually sunny. All I can see is the sunshine. Now I love these kinds of days. Whenever we get days like this, I immediately run out and have my car washed (because it’s so cold even the dirt stays away) and enjoy the sun and how shiny my car looks. I can really see the humor and laugh at myself over the control I used to give even the weather.
When I decided that only I can irritate me, my world started changing. Choosing to believe that it’s someone else’s fault that I’m irritated puts me in the role of the victim, and when I’m in that mode, I have no control over the situation, thus making it impossible for me to move beyond it.
Now when I’m feeling irritated I believe that it’s my problem and no one else’s. In the beginning, it used to bother me, but now It’s totally freeing. If I’m irritated, I can fix it. I don’t have to wait for someone else to quit what they are doing. Now that the blinders are off, I can see how ridiculous my irritation often was. Sometimes my annoyance is connected to another’s actions, but often it’s a direct by-product of my own thinking.
Let me give you an example. The other day while driving home I started thinking about how I was most likely going to walk into a messy house because my husband had the day off. As I was thinking about all this I felt myself becoming irritated. The recovery bell rang inside my head and said, “You're making yourself feel irritated." The voice of reason continued to tell me, "You may not have a choice about whether or not the house is messy, but you do have a choice as to whether you let it get to you or not." When I got home I was in a happy mood and the kitchen being a little messy did not bother me at all and I went on to have a very nice evening. Now if I had walked into the house irritated, unless the kitchen was spotless, I would have let it ruin my whole evening.
In the beginning of my journey, there were times when fearful feelings coupled with loneliness and emptiness were so overwhelming they would momentarily paralyze me and send me running toward the fridge. For me, when that panic set in, all my good intentions would go out the window.
I have found the solution to fear. My experience is that the answer varies depending upon the situation. Sometimes I need to be alone to gather strength especially when all the noise is distracting to me. While at other times, the sound of people helps with me deal with my anxiety. Sometimes I need to sleep or read so I can escape. This momentary respite helps me gain the strength to go on for another day. At other times, I need to connect with another food addict to share experience, strength and hope, reminding me that I’m not alone.
Someone said to me once, “Fear” stands for Face Everything And Recover or False Evidence Appearing Real. Therefore, when I feel “fearful” I have two choices. I can either face it and recover or realize it's just false evidence appearing real.
In summary, I am the only one who can make myself a victim. The only way someone else can do so is for me to allow it. Removing myself from the victim role is for the most part a mental endeavor. I had to change the way I think. To recap here is a list of some of positive modifications I have made:
© Letting go of changing my past
© Making sure that I’m acting on stressors rather than reacting to them;
I want to be The Pinball Wizard.
© Knowing that “What others think of me is not my business."
What matters is what I think of me.
© Realizing that I can’t please everyone no matter what I do,
so I concentrate on those who are pleased just by "me" being “me."
© Only disliking people if I a have valid reasons
© Focusing on creating positive as opposed to negative energy
© Knowing that resentments only hurt me
© Understanding that it’s ultimately my job to meet my own needs
© Being willing to say I’m sorry even when the other person is technically at fault
© Realizing that when I feel irritated, its my problem, and I have
the power to change it.
© If all else fails, I take a nap.
Activity
Write 400 to 500 words about how you put yourself in the victim role.
Coaching note: send the paper to me.
I have found that the longer my food is in order, the more No Matter What Red List days I have; and the more exact I am with my food weighing, the easier it is to alter my inner self.
What Others
Think Of Me
Is Not
My Business
Fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Fear is:
Face
Everything
And
Recover
I’m the
Pinball
Wizard!
7
Week Seven
The Lists and
Finding Your Truth
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow List “could” be getting even smaller in size.
1. ______________________________ 6.___________________________
2. ______________________________ 7. __________________________
3. _____________________________ 8. __________________________
4 ______________________________ 9. __________________________
5.______________________________ 10. __________________________
Your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Seven
1. ______________________________ 6____________________________
2. ______________________________ 7.____________________________
3. ______________________________ 8.____________________________
4. ______________________________ 9.____________________________
5. ______________________________ 10. ___________________________
-A short note from your addict/disease
“I'm such a hated disease, yet I don't come uninvited. You choose to have me. Many have chosen me instead of love peace and ultimately even life.
(Think of this note, as you read the following suggestions.)
♥If you’re still cooking and baking any of your trigger foods, you might want to ask yourself why. My answer was usually “my family needs them.” Do they need them more than you need life?
♥Let’s talk about buffets, the good, the bad and the ugly! When you go out to dinner are you still choosing buffets? You might want to ask yourself why. If truth were to be told, my answer, before I started an exactly weigh food plan, would have been so my addict could talk me into over-eating, since I had never been to a buffet without eating more than I needed. The good is, if you are adhering to an everywhere, all the time, exactly weighed food plan, like I do; buffets are a great place to get the large amount of veggies your body requires to keep your addict/disease in her place. The ugly is looking around at a buffet and seeing the unhealthy amount of weight many of those that frequent buffets are carrying, I know I use to be one of them.
♥By now, the concept of FOOD IN ONE POCKET, LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX “could” be cemented; if it’s not, keep saying it until it is.
♥Your addict/disease loves it when you feel like you’re going to die if you don’t eat XXX. But the “truth” is that many of us ate so often that we only felt truly “hungry” a few times in our lives and never true “hunger.” I surely fell into that category. You might want to replace the phrase, “I’m really hungry” with “I really want to eat.” For me, it helped me keep my addict from tricking me into thinking I was starving.
♥As your B2B No Matter What Red List day count accumulates so will your self-trust. Thus, accruing your day count has to be the number one priory in your life.
Notes and Positive Thoughts
My Green List - Week Seven
For this weeks Green list, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch will remain, twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. For dinner you need to continue eating your exactly measured 16 ounces of veggies. Keep in mind that your addict/disease hates, loathes and despises vegetables but you body craves them.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
5. Knowing in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If it’s not already; it’s time for your exactly weighed vegetable to be part of your B2B No Matter What Day Count.
♥Many of us (me included) need to be eating our exact amount of vegetables, No Matter What in all circumstances. i.e. restaurants, others’ homes, etc. This means that at times, you may need to bring extra veggies being we eat a lot.
♥ At first this used to be embarrassing for me, but I thought, “What’s more embarrassing; sitting at a restaurant or friend’s house eating extra veggies or sitting there weighing an extra 100 pounds?” I opt for the extra veggies. (I call this taking back-up food because living the Thin and Serene Way of Life, you do eat loads of vegetables and your hostess may not have enough to cover all you require.
Finding Your Truth
Now that you have made a valiant attempt to stop stuffing your face, you are ready to face your stuff.
Before recovery I was the ball in the pinball machine, but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball has no life and neither did I. I was being controlled by the pinball wizard (my food addict/disease) and at his or her mercy. I never acted on anything, just reacted. During that time I thought I had a life, but in hindsight, I realize I was just being moved along by the dysfunction around me. This was no way to live. Today I feel like I’m one of the lucky ones who found her “truths” and a way out.
By this time you have most likely uncovered some “truths” about yourself. (I also refer to “truths” as “ahas.” They are life altering, new ways of thinking.
Let me share with you some “truths” about me, that were uncovered to help you decide what your new “truths” might be:
♥I want to grow up to be just like my granddaughter. I get chills just thinking about her. Taking into account that my granddaughter laughs 283 more times a day than I do.
♥I love and I mean worship music. In my dictionary of “truths” right next to the word Heaven is Music. Music for me is Heaven on Earth. In fact, this year I received one of the best Christmas gifts ever, a hand-me-down IPOD. (my son got a new one). I immediately put three hundred and thirty of my favorite songs of all time. What a loving gift to myself.
♥Food is not the answer. If you are not sure on this one refer back to the Activity where you wrote the binge paper.
♥There is another meal coming. The first few months into recovery, I noticed I wanted to eat as though each meal were my last. Whatever stopping mechanism inside that lets one know that another meal is coming is nonexistent for me. My food addict made sure that mine was broken and stayed that way. As far as I was concerned, each meal was my last.
♥I think that’s why staying on my food plan was so hard when I was in early recovery. It sounds crazy when I think of it now, but this is what my food addict had me brainwashed into believing. This “aha” was a real eye-opener. Realizing this untruth did not change it immediately; it took a great deal of self-talk to change it. For years I had to remind myself on a daily basis that there would be another meal coming. Now not only do I know that there is another meal coming, but also know that I get three meals a day, ninety a month and over a thousand a year. Remember earlier when I talked about the old tapes I keep stored away in my recovery brain? Well, here’s another one: over a thousand delicious meals just waiting for me. It makes it so I don’t mind when a meal ends. For the first time in my life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s another meal coming.
It’s all right to waste food. In my past somewhere I got the idea that it was unacceptable to throw food away. Maybe it was all the starving babies in India that my economical practice was going to help. (I wonder why it didn’t bother me when I wasted food on my waist?) However, throwing food in the garbage is still something I struggle with; therefore every time I discard leftovers in the garbage, I pat myself on the back. (Remember I said I was a great cheerleader for myself.)
♥It is impossible for me to binge today and be Thin and Serene tomorrow. One bite is too many and a million is not enough. If it’s a No Matter What List food, even one bite can hurt me
♥It’s ok and even encouraged for me to waste food. I spent the first thirty-three years of my life wasting food on my waist, now it’s time to spend the next fifty+ years wasting food where it belongs, in the garbage.
♥Silence is golden. “Never miss a good chance to shut up is one of my favorite mantras. I spent many years being quiet until l learned to say only nice things to people.
♥What is my “truth” is often inconvenient.” “Truth” may not be easy, but it is simple and comes with practice. “If at first I don’t succeed, try, try again.”
♥I have never gone to a buffet without the intent of pigging out. Buffets do not pave the way to a Thin and Serene life. I think, that buffets are my addict’s weekend home. I have never gone to a buffet when my addict was not leading the way. Going to a buffet is tempting the food pocket. Very few of us, if any, can go to a buffet and leave our addicts at home.
♥Today’s recovery is all I have, these 24 hours. Hence, if you have 24 hours, you could say you have the same as me. It all starts and ends with 24 hours. Yes, they accumulate, but it is still just 24 hours.
♥I can be nice to someone who is not nice to me; be nice then detach with love.
♥When I focus on what‘s “fair” in my life, magically my life is transformed.
♥You’re not the same person you were 24 hours ago. You have changed one day at a time. You have a new way of living and a program to follow that will keep you abstinent and serene as long as you are willing to follow it
Activity
Write a list of your new “ahas” and “truths”.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
(Add more spaces if necessary and I hope it’s necessary.)
I’m
Beginning to
Know
“My Truth”
The Lists and
Finding Your Truth
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow List “could” be getting even smaller in size.
1. ______________________________ 6.___________________________
2. ______________________________ 7. __________________________
3. _____________________________ 8. __________________________
4 ______________________________ 9. __________________________
5.______________________________ 10. __________________________
Your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Seven
1. ______________________________ 6____________________________
2. ______________________________ 7.____________________________
3. ______________________________ 8.____________________________
4. ______________________________ 9.____________________________
5. ______________________________ 10. ___________________________
-A short note from your addict/disease
“I'm such a hated disease, yet I don't come uninvited. You choose to have me. Many have chosen me instead of love peace and ultimately even life.
(Think of this note, as you read the following suggestions.)
♥If you’re still cooking and baking any of your trigger foods, you might want to ask yourself why. My answer was usually “my family needs them.” Do they need them more than you need life?
♥Let’s talk about buffets, the good, the bad and the ugly! When you go out to dinner are you still choosing buffets? You might want to ask yourself why. If truth were to be told, my answer, before I started an exactly weigh food plan, would have been so my addict could talk me into over-eating, since I had never been to a buffet without eating more than I needed. The good is, if you are adhering to an everywhere, all the time, exactly weighed food plan, like I do; buffets are a great place to get the large amount of veggies your body requires to keep your addict/disease in her place. The ugly is looking around at a buffet and seeing the unhealthy amount of weight many of those that frequent buffets are carrying, I know I use to be one of them.
♥By now, the concept of FOOD IN ONE POCKET, LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX “could” be cemented; if it’s not, keep saying it until it is.
♥Your addict/disease loves it when you feel like you’re going to die if you don’t eat XXX. But the “truth” is that many of us ate so often that we only felt truly “hungry” a few times in our lives and never true “hunger.” I surely fell into that category. You might want to replace the phrase, “I’m really hungry” with “I really want to eat.” For me, it helped me keep my addict from tricking me into thinking I was starving.
♥As your B2B No Matter What Red List day count accumulates so will your self-trust. Thus, accruing your day count has to be the number one priory in your life.
Notes and Positive Thoughts
My Green List - Week Seven
For this weeks Green list, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch will remain, twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. For dinner you need to continue eating your exactly measured 16 ounces of veggies. Keep in mind that your addict/disease hates, loathes and despises vegetables but you body craves them.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
5. Knowing in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If it’s not already; it’s time for your exactly weighed vegetable to be part of your B2B No Matter What Day Count.
♥Many of us (me included) need to be eating our exact amount of vegetables, No Matter What in all circumstances. i.e. restaurants, others’ homes, etc. This means that at times, you may need to bring extra veggies being we eat a lot.
♥ At first this used to be embarrassing for me, but I thought, “What’s more embarrassing; sitting at a restaurant or friend’s house eating extra veggies or sitting there weighing an extra 100 pounds?” I opt for the extra veggies. (I call this taking back-up food because living the Thin and Serene Way of Life, you do eat loads of vegetables and your hostess may not have enough to cover all you require.
Finding Your Truth
Now that you have made a valiant attempt to stop stuffing your face, you are ready to face your stuff.
Before recovery I was the ball in the pinball machine, but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball has no life and neither did I. I was being controlled by the pinball wizard (my food addict/disease) and at his or her mercy. I never acted on anything, just reacted. During that time I thought I had a life, but in hindsight, I realize I was just being moved along by the dysfunction around me. This was no way to live. Today I feel like I’m one of the lucky ones who found her “truths” and a way out.
By this time you have most likely uncovered some “truths” about yourself. (I also refer to “truths” as “ahas.” They are life altering, new ways of thinking.
Let me share with you some “truths” about me, that were uncovered to help you decide what your new “truths” might be:
♥I want to grow up to be just like my granddaughter. I get chills just thinking about her. Taking into account that my granddaughter laughs 283 more times a day than I do.
♥I love and I mean worship music. In my dictionary of “truths” right next to the word Heaven is Music. Music for me is Heaven on Earth. In fact, this year I received one of the best Christmas gifts ever, a hand-me-down IPOD. (my son got a new one). I immediately put three hundred and thirty of my favorite songs of all time. What a loving gift to myself.
♥Food is not the answer. If you are not sure on this one refer back to the Activity where you wrote the binge paper.
♥There is another meal coming. The first few months into recovery, I noticed I wanted to eat as though each meal were my last. Whatever stopping mechanism inside that lets one know that another meal is coming is nonexistent for me. My food addict made sure that mine was broken and stayed that way. As far as I was concerned, each meal was my last.
♥I think that’s why staying on my food plan was so hard when I was in early recovery. It sounds crazy when I think of it now, but this is what my food addict had me brainwashed into believing. This “aha” was a real eye-opener. Realizing this untruth did not change it immediately; it took a great deal of self-talk to change it. For years I had to remind myself on a daily basis that there would be another meal coming. Now not only do I know that there is another meal coming, but also know that I get three meals a day, ninety a month and over a thousand a year. Remember earlier when I talked about the old tapes I keep stored away in my recovery brain? Well, here’s another one: over a thousand delicious meals just waiting for me. It makes it so I don’t mind when a meal ends. For the first time in my life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s another meal coming.
It’s all right to waste food. In my past somewhere I got the idea that it was unacceptable to throw food away. Maybe it was all the starving babies in India that my economical practice was going to help. (I wonder why it didn’t bother me when I wasted food on my waist?) However, throwing food in the garbage is still something I struggle with; therefore every time I discard leftovers in the garbage, I pat myself on the back. (Remember I said I was a great cheerleader for myself.)
♥It is impossible for me to binge today and be Thin and Serene tomorrow. One bite is too many and a million is not enough. If it’s a No Matter What List food, even one bite can hurt me
♥It’s ok and even encouraged for me to waste food. I spent the first thirty-three years of my life wasting food on my waist, now it’s time to spend the next fifty+ years wasting food where it belongs, in the garbage.
♥Silence is golden. “Never miss a good chance to shut up is one of my favorite mantras. I spent many years being quiet until l learned to say only nice things to people.
♥What is my “truth” is often inconvenient.” “Truth” may not be easy, but it is simple and comes with practice. “If at first I don’t succeed, try, try again.”
♥I have never gone to a buffet without the intent of pigging out. Buffets do not pave the way to a Thin and Serene life. I think, that buffets are my addict’s weekend home. I have never gone to a buffet when my addict was not leading the way. Going to a buffet is tempting the food pocket. Very few of us, if any, can go to a buffet and leave our addicts at home.
♥Today’s recovery is all I have, these 24 hours. Hence, if you have 24 hours, you could say you have the same as me. It all starts and ends with 24 hours. Yes, they accumulate, but it is still just 24 hours.
♥I can be nice to someone who is not nice to me; be nice then detach with love.
♥When I focus on what‘s “fair” in my life, magically my life is transformed.
♥You’re not the same person you were 24 hours ago. You have changed one day at a time. You have a new way of living and a program to follow that will keep you abstinent and serene as long as you are willing to follow it
Activity
Write a list of your new “ahas” and “truths”.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
(Add more spaces if necessary and I hope it’s necessary.)
I’m
Beginning to
Know
“My Truth”
6
Week Six
The Lists and
Loving Yourself
My Yellow List - Week Six
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. ______________________________ 8. __________________________
3. ______________________________ 9. __________________________
4 _______________________________ 10. _________________________
5,_______________________________ 11. ________________________
6. ______________________________ 12. ________________________
♥Your Yellow List needs to be used only when necessary; it need not be a free for all. Be sure “you” are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your disease/addict.
My No Matter What Red List - Week six
1. __________________________ 8. ______________________
2. __________________________ 9. ______________________
3. __________________________ 10. ______________________
4. __________________________ 11. ______________________
5.___________________________ 12. ______________________
6.___________________________ 13. ______________________
7. __________________________ 14. _______________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so, remembering you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go yet (as long as you wait until morning to do so).
♥Reminder: When difficulties surface in your life and you feel the need to eat over them, write down what they are on a slip of paper and place it into your life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food, which is safe and in a separate pocket
♥One day at a time, I will not eat sugar again for primarily two reasons; one being that it makes me insane and the other is that I’ve had my share of sugar. In fact, I had more than my share of sugar in my first 33 years. I’m sure I had my share and at least one or two other people’s shares. I can relate to this because when I was young, my mom spent a great deal of time teaching me the sharing concept.
Activity
Maybe you too have items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of also. Make a list of the items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of.
Coaching Note: Write to me about all the items on your No Matter What Red List that fall into this category.
My Green List - Week Six
For this week concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch is still exactly twelve ounces of vegetables.
3. For dinner, you will need to increase your exactly weighed vegetables to sixteen ounces. Remember your body loves veggies. By now I’m sure you are well aware of the heavier ones.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchycarb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
5. Beginning to know in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If you haven’t already, you need to ask yourself why you have not made your exactly weighed vegetables part or your No Matter What Day Count.
Loving Yourself
In about the third year of my food recovery I was at a meeting with other food-recovering people when a friend came up to me and said, “You look like you’re doing well.” My response was,” Yes, I am.” At that point he said in somewhat of a derogatory voice, "What have you done, fallen in love?” Without even a moments thought, I replied,” Yes, I have with myself!”
That was the beginning of my love affair with myself. It was the first time I realized that I really did love myself. Now the problem was how to nurture it. Not having had a good role model for this, it was not something that came naturally to me.
So what did I do? I went out and bought a book called, How to Be Your Own Best Friend. That sounded like a good place to start. I read through the book and marked all the entries that peaked my interest. Then I started incorporating them into my daily life.
One that has stuck with me to this day is this: The first time you notice that your car needs gas, pull into a service station and get gas (unless this is unfeasible). I think this particular idea had such an impact on me because it seemed so simple and even to some extent silly, but I found that when I did it, I did feel good about myself. You might want to try it!
What you will find next is a list of things I did that made me feel good about myself
♥Wrote special things about myself on notes and put them everywhere.
♥Placed inspirational pictures on my computer. I found out how to make my screen saver a power point picture show.
♥Wrote positive affirmations. (This topic will be covered in depth later).
♥Bought flowers for myself. I love flowers! My favorites are baby carnations, especially those that smell like cinnamon.
♥ Bought a supply of candles with scents I simply adore and burned them. (If you’re not using up at least one every two weeks, you’re probably not burning them as much as you “could“).
♥Purchased some fragrant massage oil and took the time to rub it into my feet every few days. It definitely makes my feet feel like I’m their friend.
♥Holiday decorating is a gift I give to myself. My holiday season pig-out used to start a month before Halloween and last until after Easter. Now instead of eating during this time period, I decorate. I love ornamentation!
♥I would never talk disrespectfully to a best friend. Therefore I never talk that way to myself (anymore). I call myself “Sweetie.” As a matter of fact, I call everyone “Sweetie.” My journey provided me with a world in which most people I know are my “sweeties,” especially myself.
Activity: Pick an endearing name for yourself. Some choices are Sweetie, Honey and Dear. Start using it when you are doing self-talk. I do call myself “Silly.” I’m 52 and do many “silly” things. (Some might call them “stupid” things, but I chose to call them “silly”.)
Let’s go back to the time with all the blossoming flowers I spoke of earlier.
One spring a few years into my food recovery journey, it seemed like every single person in the town that I lived in had planted twice as many flowers than ever before. It was one of the most breathtaking experiences. I moved around all that spring just amazed at how beautiful my world had suddenly become. Since then flowers hold a special meaning for me. Before that time, not too much excited me. I used to take a trip to Disneyland to motivate me, but only the thought of it was enticing. When I was actually there, it was disappointing. That was the first of many life-altering corners I turned. I say life altering because since that time I have developed what I call a Low Delight Level or LDL, which simply put is it takes next to nothing to delight me.
Some delightful things that help me be a better friend to myself are:
♥Hummingbirds: Until a few summers ago I don’t remember ever having seen one before. I’m sure they were around, but I was just too into the food to notice. Watching hummingbirds makes me feel like a little kid inside all giddy. I have given myself the gift of a hummingbird feeder on my back porch where I can sit and immerse myself for hours in this lovely creature. People have asked me what’s big enough to take the place of “the food” and one answer is hummingbirds.
♥A newly mopped and especially waxed kitchen floor. I waxed mine over two weeks ago and the shine can still bring a smile to my face.
♥Most of the clothes in my closet: Clothes used to only excite me when I was buying them, now I find myself delighting in them for months (sometimes years) after purchasing them. I also have a pair of black boots that have lasted for over 5 years and each winter when I get them out I’m still eager to put them on.
♥Complimenting others makes me feel really good. I make sure when I notice something nice about someone to compliment them on it. In the beginning I had to look for flattering words since I was not in the habit of focusing on others let alone seeing what was special about them.
♥My eyelash comb: It tickles me pink every time I comb my eyelashes before I apply a second coat of mascara. (Who would have ever thought?)
♥My Herban Essentials Body Oil: This is another gift of love I offer myself. I find that my appreciation for fragrant scents has increased in direct proportion to how out of the way the food is. I’m really into aroma therapy and these oils permeate my soul.
♥Quick vacuuming jobs: The ones you do when you have 10 extra minutes before work
♥Folding warm clothes: Now that I don’t have the fat to insulate me, I get cold easily.
♥Taking the time to pet my cat, Taffy, and she likes it too.
♥Becoming best friends with humor and laughter: I have made a serious assault on humor and laughter...no way was I going to let that friendship escape! I spent year three of my journey bringing more laughter and humor into my life. When I can laugh at myself and the world around me, it’s less likely that I will eat. I did not acquire these views growing up. There are many concepts or tools I did not learn as a child that I needed to know in order to stay out of the food. It does not matter why I did not learn them. What matters is that I spent the last 19 years learning them, and have put this program together in order to share them with you.
Here’s some of what I learned about embracing more humor:
♥Laughter is very powerful medicine. It can lower stress, dissolve anger and unite families in their resolve to overcome troubled times.
♥Without humor, one's thought processes are likely to become stuck and narrowly focused leading to increased stress and the desire to numb out by overeating.
♥Nothing is good or bad. It’s my attitude toward life that determines my enjoyment or lack of it. Laughter helps me look at most things in a better light.
♥Little children laugh about 300 times a day while adults engage an average of 17 times a day. Hence, I want to grow up to be just like my 3-year old grand- daughter.
♥Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement as well as set off a number of positive physical side effects. A good hearty laugh can help:
♥reduce stress,
♥lower blood pressure,
♥elevate mood,
♥boost immune system
♥improve brain functioning,
♥protect the heart,
♥connect you to others,
♥foster instant relaxation and simply make you feel good
Laughing at my circumstances or myself helps reveal that most things are not as earth shattering as they sometimes seem to be. Oftentimes when an unpleasant event occurs, I pretend that it’s happening on a television show that I’m watching so I can distance myself and see the humor in the situation.
Humor changes the way I think, and it was my “stinking thinking” that caused my weight to soar to over 200 pounds. Consequently, with the help of my friend, Laughter, I was able to stay at under 130 pounds for over a year and a half.
The following is a list of humorous activities you “could” embrace:
♥Look for the every day humor. Start searching for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that surround you each day.
Observe infants and young children to learn how to find delight and amusement in the most ordinary things.
Increase your exposure to comedies, comic sitcoms, joke books, comedy clubs, etc.
Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.
Take a 5-10 minute humor break each day. Read jokes, add to a humor notebook, and listen to a funny tape.
If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.
Remind yourself to have fun. Spend time with those who help you see the bright side, and whenever possible, avoid people who are negative and dour.
Laughter is very contagious, pass it around; it’s a welcome healthy relief from the doldrums.
I used to feel that if I did not eat, I would surely die. I now I feel so many wonderful sensations inside me that I could explode with happiness. Sometimes I have to do something very mundane to calm all the emotions bubbling over in me brought about by how fantastic my life has become.
Now don’t get me wrong, unpleasantness happens in my life. I just don’t seem to become blindsided by it anymore. I’m going to wait until significant life problems crop up before I feel horrible, and enjoy all my blessings of which there are many. My life (where I live, where I work, many of the things I do) has not changed much in the last 19 years; however, the way I react to it was changed drastically. Before everything used to be a reason to eat, now there is no good reason to eat foods that are not good for me because “I KEEP MY FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND MY LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
What Loving Thing
can I do
for
Myself Today?
The Lists and
Loving Yourself
My Yellow List - Week Six
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. ______________________________ 8. __________________________
3. ______________________________ 9. __________________________
4 _______________________________ 10. _________________________
5,_______________________________ 11. ________________________
6. ______________________________ 12. ________________________
♥Your Yellow List needs to be used only when necessary; it need not be a free for all. Be sure “you” are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your disease/addict.
My No Matter What Red List - Week six
1. __________________________ 8. ______________________
2. __________________________ 9. ______________________
3. __________________________ 10. ______________________
4. __________________________ 11. ______________________
5.___________________________ 12. ______________________
6.___________________________ 13. ______________________
7. __________________________ 14. _______________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so, remembering you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go yet (as long as you wait until morning to do so).
♥Reminder: When difficulties surface in your life and you feel the need to eat over them, write down what they are on a slip of paper and place it into your life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food, which is safe and in a separate pocket
♥One day at a time, I will not eat sugar again for primarily two reasons; one being that it makes me insane and the other is that I’ve had my share of sugar. In fact, I had more than my share of sugar in my first 33 years. I’m sure I had my share and at least one or two other people’s shares. I can relate to this because when I was young, my mom spent a great deal of time teaching me the sharing concept.
Activity
Maybe you too have items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of also. Make a list of the items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of.
Coaching Note: Write to me about all the items on your No Matter What Red List that fall into this category.
My Green List - Week Six
For this week concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch is still exactly twelve ounces of vegetables.
3. For dinner, you will need to increase your exactly weighed vegetables to sixteen ounces. Remember your body loves veggies. By now I’m sure you are well aware of the heavier ones.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchycarb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
5. Beginning to know in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If you haven’t already, you need to ask yourself why you have not made your exactly weighed vegetables part or your No Matter What Day Count.
Loving Yourself
In about the third year of my food recovery I was at a meeting with other food-recovering people when a friend came up to me and said, “You look like you’re doing well.” My response was,” Yes, I am.” At that point he said in somewhat of a derogatory voice, "What have you done, fallen in love?” Without even a moments thought, I replied,” Yes, I have with myself!”
That was the beginning of my love affair with myself. It was the first time I realized that I really did love myself. Now the problem was how to nurture it. Not having had a good role model for this, it was not something that came naturally to me.
So what did I do? I went out and bought a book called, How to Be Your Own Best Friend. That sounded like a good place to start. I read through the book and marked all the entries that peaked my interest. Then I started incorporating them into my daily life.
One that has stuck with me to this day is this: The first time you notice that your car needs gas, pull into a service station and get gas (unless this is unfeasible). I think this particular idea had such an impact on me because it seemed so simple and even to some extent silly, but I found that when I did it, I did feel good about myself. You might want to try it!
What you will find next is a list of things I did that made me feel good about myself
♥Wrote special things about myself on notes and put them everywhere.
♥Placed inspirational pictures on my computer. I found out how to make my screen saver a power point picture show.
♥Wrote positive affirmations. (This topic will be covered in depth later).
♥Bought flowers for myself. I love flowers! My favorites are baby carnations, especially those that smell like cinnamon.
♥ Bought a supply of candles with scents I simply adore and burned them. (If you’re not using up at least one every two weeks, you’re probably not burning them as much as you “could“).
♥Purchased some fragrant massage oil and took the time to rub it into my feet every few days. It definitely makes my feet feel like I’m their friend.
♥Holiday decorating is a gift I give to myself. My holiday season pig-out used to start a month before Halloween and last until after Easter. Now instead of eating during this time period, I decorate. I love ornamentation!
♥I would never talk disrespectfully to a best friend. Therefore I never talk that way to myself (anymore). I call myself “Sweetie.” As a matter of fact, I call everyone “Sweetie.” My journey provided me with a world in which most people I know are my “sweeties,” especially myself.
Activity: Pick an endearing name for yourself. Some choices are Sweetie, Honey and Dear. Start using it when you are doing self-talk. I do call myself “Silly.” I’m 52 and do many “silly” things. (Some might call them “stupid” things, but I chose to call them “silly”.)
Let’s go back to the time with all the blossoming flowers I spoke of earlier.
One spring a few years into my food recovery journey, it seemed like every single person in the town that I lived in had planted twice as many flowers than ever before. It was one of the most breathtaking experiences. I moved around all that spring just amazed at how beautiful my world had suddenly become. Since then flowers hold a special meaning for me. Before that time, not too much excited me. I used to take a trip to Disneyland to motivate me, but only the thought of it was enticing. When I was actually there, it was disappointing. That was the first of many life-altering corners I turned. I say life altering because since that time I have developed what I call a Low Delight Level or LDL, which simply put is it takes next to nothing to delight me.
Some delightful things that help me be a better friend to myself are:
♥Hummingbirds: Until a few summers ago I don’t remember ever having seen one before. I’m sure they were around, but I was just too into the food to notice. Watching hummingbirds makes me feel like a little kid inside all giddy. I have given myself the gift of a hummingbird feeder on my back porch where I can sit and immerse myself for hours in this lovely creature. People have asked me what’s big enough to take the place of “the food” and one answer is hummingbirds.
♥A newly mopped and especially waxed kitchen floor. I waxed mine over two weeks ago and the shine can still bring a smile to my face.
♥Most of the clothes in my closet: Clothes used to only excite me when I was buying them, now I find myself delighting in them for months (sometimes years) after purchasing them. I also have a pair of black boots that have lasted for over 5 years and each winter when I get them out I’m still eager to put them on.
♥Complimenting others makes me feel really good. I make sure when I notice something nice about someone to compliment them on it. In the beginning I had to look for flattering words since I was not in the habit of focusing on others let alone seeing what was special about them.
♥My eyelash comb: It tickles me pink every time I comb my eyelashes before I apply a second coat of mascara. (Who would have ever thought?)
♥My Herban Essentials Body Oil: This is another gift of love I offer myself. I find that my appreciation for fragrant scents has increased in direct proportion to how out of the way the food is. I’m really into aroma therapy and these oils permeate my soul.
♥Quick vacuuming jobs: The ones you do when you have 10 extra minutes before work
♥Folding warm clothes: Now that I don’t have the fat to insulate me, I get cold easily.
♥Taking the time to pet my cat, Taffy, and she likes it too.
♥Becoming best friends with humor and laughter: I have made a serious assault on humor and laughter...no way was I going to let that friendship escape! I spent year three of my journey bringing more laughter and humor into my life. When I can laugh at myself and the world around me, it’s less likely that I will eat. I did not acquire these views growing up. There are many concepts or tools I did not learn as a child that I needed to know in order to stay out of the food. It does not matter why I did not learn them. What matters is that I spent the last 19 years learning them, and have put this program together in order to share them with you.
Here’s some of what I learned about embracing more humor:
♥Laughter is very powerful medicine. It can lower stress, dissolve anger and unite families in their resolve to overcome troubled times.
♥Without humor, one's thought processes are likely to become stuck and narrowly focused leading to increased stress and the desire to numb out by overeating.
♥Nothing is good or bad. It’s my attitude toward life that determines my enjoyment or lack of it. Laughter helps me look at most things in a better light.
♥Little children laugh about 300 times a day while adults engage an average of 17 times a day. Hence, I want to grow up to be just like my 3-year old grand- daughter.
♥Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement as well as set off a number of positive physical side effects. A good hearty laugh can help:
♥reduce stress,
♥lower blood pressure,
♥elevate mood,
♥boost immune system
♥improve brain functioning,
♥protect the heart,
♥connect you to others,
♥foster instant relaxation and simply make you feel good
Laughing at my circumstances or myself helps reveal that most things are not as earth shattering as they sometimes seem to be. Oftentimes when an unpleasant event occurs, I pretend that it’s happening on a television show that I’m watching so I can distance myself and see the humor in the situation.
Humor changes the way I think, and it was my “stinking thinking” that caused my weight to soar to over 200 pounds. Consequently, with the help of my friend, Laughter, I was able to stay at under 130 pounds for over a year and a half.
The following is a list of humorous activities you “could” embrace:
♥Look for the every day humor. Start searching for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that surround you each day.
Observe infants and young children to learn how to find delight and amusement in the most ordinary things.
Increase your exposure to comedies, comic sitcoms, joke books, comedy clubs, etc.
Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.
Take a 5-10 minute humor break each day. Read jokes, add to a humor notebook, and listen to a funny tape.
If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.
Remind yourself to have fun. Spend time with those who help you see the bright side, and whenever possible, avoid people who are negative and dour.
Laughter is very contagious, pass it around; it’s a welcome healthy relief from the doldrums.
I used to feel that if I did not eat, I would surely die. I now I feel so many wonderful sensations inside me that I could explode with happiness. Sometimes I have to do something very mundane to calm all the emotions bubbling over in me brought about by how fantastic my life has become.
Now don’t get me wrong, unpleasantness happens in my life. I just don’t seem to become blindsided by it anymore. I’m going to wait until significant life problems crop up before I feel horrible, and enjoy all my blessings of which there are many. My life (where I live, where I work, many of the things I do) has not changed much in the last 19 years; however, the way I react to it was changed drastically. Before everything used to be a reason to eat, now there is no good reason to eat foods that are not good for me because “I KEEP MY FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND MY LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
What Loving Thing
can I do
for
Myself Today?
5
Week Five
The Lists and
“Acting As If”
My Yellow List - Week Five
Rewrite your Yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow and Red Lists “could” be getting closer in size
1.____________________________ 8.____________________________
2.____________________________ 9.____________________________
3._____________________________ 10.____________________________
4.______________________________ 11.____________________________
5._____________________________ 12.____________________________
6._____________________________ 13.____________________________
7._____________________________ 14.____________________________
♥A day can begin at anytime, especially with your Yellow List, just because you needed the help of your Yellow List doesn’t mean you have to wait until morning to put it back on the shelf. Your Yellow List is to be used only when absolutely necessary, it’s your choice if you abuse it. At anytime, you can choose to begin again, even at this very moment.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Five
1. ____________________________ 7._________________________
2. ____________________________ 8. _________________________
3. ____________________________ 9. _________________________
4. ___________________________ 10. _________________________
5.____________________________ 11. _________________________
6. _____________________________12. _________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. This list “could” be between five to twelve items long now.
♥I have a hard fast rule about food at work, if I don’t bring it, I don’t eat it. In the beginning, I used to eat foods that others brought as long as they were on my plan. Then I noticed, I had more control over my addict when I adhered to the rule, if I don’t bring it I don’t eat it. The less talking I can keep my addict from doing, the better my chances of having a Thin and Serene Life.
♥I used to feel a little sorry for my addict because she needed so much food to be happy, then came the realization that she did not want the food let alone need it, she just wanted me to want it. Needless to say that totally stopped any sorry feelings I was wasting on her.
♥When events in your life surface that you want to eat over, write down what they are on a piece of paper and slip it into you life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food which is safe and in a separate pocket. Again the most important tool I can give you is: “KEEP YOUR FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER; AND DON‘T MIX.”
My Green List - Week Five
Your Green List is similar to last week. Keep in mind that the more exact you can be, the more space you will be putting between you and your addict.
1. Just a reminder that most of our bodies do not know the difference between hunger and thirst and your addict will always try to convince you into believing it’s food you need. As a result of this, you need to be proactive when it comes to water. The basic rule of thumb is that you need eight, eight ounce glasses a day. My understanding is that you can count skim milk and decaffeinated teas as part of this because they are mostly water. Thus, you need to add five more glasses throughout your day.
2. For lunch and dinner keep your vegetables at exactly twelve ounces.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Knowing in your head that a becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
5. My food plan (just in case you’re interested)
Feel free to adopt my food plan if it interests you.
Breakfast-4 ounces protein
12 ounces fruit
Lunch-5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Dinner-5 ounces protein
24 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
My food plan is exactly weighed all the time, everywhere. This is the extreme I have to go to, to live a Thin and Serene Life. And it’s a small price to pay for the life, weighing my food has given me. I have been adhering to this food plan No Matter What (with some small changes to adjust for weight fluctuations) for over 657 days (two years on July 21, 2006).
♥If you haven’t already, it’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count. Keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few things your addict respects.
Activity
Try some herbal tea. Its counts towards meeting your water needs. I especially like apple cinnamon herbal tea with stevia to add sweetness. The smaller I’ve gotten the more easily I become cold and the herbal tea warms me up.
“You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people are going to treat you better.
You’re going to find, yes you will
That you’re as beautiful as you feel”
Carole King
There’s magic in behaving the way we want to be even though we don’t feel it yet. “Act As If” by changing your actions, then let them lead the way. Your attitude, mind and life will follow.
Many days I did not get up feeling happy, joyous and free, but I found the days I put a smile on my face, even if it was pasted at first, by midday I was feeling much better.
I used to challenge myself to drive all the way to work with a smile on my face. It’s like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I also took note of how many others were not smiling on the way to work. The fact is that most people look pretty serious or downright unhappy as they drive to work.
I also tried smiling at others everywhere I went to see how people would react. I even tried it while running in Central Park while visiting New York. I don’t think I got anyone to smile there. Maybe they thought I was a mugger or something.
Smiling is putting out positive energy, and I have found that whatever force I put out, is what I’m going to get back. If I display negative energy, that’s what will return two-fold. So I vote for putting out positive energy especially if I might get it back double. I have always liked two for one especially when it came to food sales. In my other life, a two for one sale was reason enough to buy any food item even if I didn’t really even like it, let alone need it.
At one time, the Sears in our area used to label their merchandise good, better, and best. As far as they were concerned, everything in their store was high quality. Now you and I know that even Sears carries some items that are less than good so I decided if Sears could “Act As If” everything was at least good then so could I. This tool has been paramount in helping me feel better about myself because even on so-called “bad” days, I chose to call them good. This little “Acting As If” attitude was a huge step forward in my beginning to love myself.
You took a big step, too, when you started labeling your days with stars. Notice that every day is at least labeled “good” as represented by each day having a minimum of one star. My experience has been that if I act like something is a certain way long enough, eventually the magic of “Acting As If” turns it that way. This is at least is determined by our attitude, which is eighty percent of the battle.
You might have wondered why in my guide almost every time I mention the word “could” I put it in parentheses. Here’s the reason: I have removed the word “should” from my vocabulary and replaced it with the word “could“. I’ve found “should” to be a shaming world. When I “should” on myself, I feel “less than” and anything that makes me feel “less than” is tainted by my addict. My caution to you is to think twice before using the word “should“. You might notice I have been very careful about my use of “should” in this guide because in no way do I wish to make you feel “less than.”
“Act As If”
And
Eventually it Will Become Real
The Lists and
“Acting As If”
My Yellow List - Week Five
Rewrite your Yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow and Red Lists “could” be getting closer in size
1.____________________________ 8.____________________________
2.____________________________ 9.____________________________
3._____________________________ 10.____________________________
4.______________________________ 11.____________________________
5._____________________________ 12.____________________________
6._____________________________ 13.____________________________
7._____________________________ 14.____________________________
♥A day can begin at anytime, especially with your Yellow List, just because you needed the help of your Yellow List doesn’t mean you have to wait until morning to put it back on the shelf. Your Yellow List is to be used only when absolutely necessary, it’s your choice if you abuse it. At anytime, you can choose to begin again, even at this very moment.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Five
1. ____________________________ 7._________________________
2. ____________________________ 8. _________________________
3. ____________________________ 9. _________________________
4. ___________________________ 10. _________________________
5.____________________________ 11. _________________________
6. _____________________________12. _________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. This list “could” be between five to twelve items long now.
♥I have a hard fast rule about food at work, if I don’t bring it, I don’t eat it. In the beginning, I used to eat foods that others brought as long as they were on my plan. Then I noticed, I had more control over my addict when I adhered to the rule, if I don’t bring it I don’t eat it. The less talking I can keep my addict from doing, the better my chances of having a Thin and Serene Life.
♥I used to feel a little sorry for my addict because she needed so much food to be happy, then came the realization that she did not want the food let alone need it, she just wanted me to want it. Needless to say that totally stopped any sorry feelings I was wasting on her.
♥When events in your life surface that you want to eat over, write down what they are on a piece of paper and slip it into you life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food which is safe and in a separate pocket. Again the most important tool I can give you is: “KEEP YOUR FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER; AND DON‘T MIX.”
My Green List - Week Five
Your Green List is similar to last week. Keep in mind that the more exact you can be, the more space you will be putting between you and your addict.
1. Just a reminder that most of our bodies do not know the difference between hunger and thirst and your addict will always try to convince you into believing it’s food you need. As a result of this, you need to be proactive when it comes to water. The basic rule of thumb is that you need eight, eight ounce glasses a day. My understanding is that you can count skim milk and decaffeinated teas as part of this because they are mostly water. Thus, you need to add five more glasses throughout your day.
2. For lunch and dinner keep your vegetables at exactly twelve ounces.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Knowing in your head that a becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
5. My food plan (just in case you’re interested)
Feel free to adopt my food plan if it interests you.
Breakfast-4 ounces protein
12 ounces fruit
Lunch-5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Dinner-5 ounces protein
24 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
My food plan is exactly weighed all the time, everywhere. This is the extreme I have to go to, to live a Thin and Serene Life. And it’s a small price to pay for the life, weighing my food has given me. I have been adhering to this food plan No Matter What (with some small changes to adjust for weight fluctuations) for over 657 days (two years on July 21, 2006).
♥If you haven’t already, it’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count. Keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few things your addict respects.
Activity
Try some herbal tea. Its counts towards meeting your water needs. I especially like apple cinnamon herbal tea with stevia to add sweetness. The smaller I’ve gotten the more easily I become cold and the herbal tea warms me up.
“You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people are going to treat you better.
You’re going to find, yes you will
That you’re as beautiful as you feel”
Carole King
There’s magic in behaving the way we want to be even though we don’t feel it yet. “Act As If” by changing your actions, then let them lead the way. Your attitude, mind and life will follow.
Many days I did not get up feeling happy, joyous and free, but I found the days I put a smile on my face, even if it was pasted at first, by midday I was feeling much better.
I used to challenge myself to drive all the way to work with a smile on my face. It’s like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I also took note of how many others were not smiling on the way to work. The fact is that most people look pretty serious or downright unhappy as they drive to work.
I also tried smiling at others everywhere I went to see how people would react. I even tried it while running in Central Park while visiting New York. I don’t think I got anyone to smile there. Maybe they thought I was a mugger or something.
Smiling is putting out positive energy, and I have found that whatever force I put out, is what I’m going to get back. If I display negative energy, that’s what will return two-fold. So I vote for putting out positive energy especially if I might get it back double. I have always liked two for one especially when it came to food sales. In my other life, a two for one sale was reason enough to buy any food item even if I didn’t really even like it, let alone need it.
At one time, the Sears in our area used to label their merchandise good, better, and best. As far as they were concerned, everything in their store was high quality. Now you and I know that even Sears carries some items that are less than good so I decided if Sears could “Act As If” everything was at least good then so could I. This tool has been paramount in helping me feel better about myself because even on so-called “bad” days, I chose to call them good. This little “Acting As If” attitude was a huge step forward in my beginning to love myself.
You took a big step, too, when you started labeling your days with stars. Notice that every day is at least labeled “good” as represented by each day having a minimum of one star. My experience has been that if I act like something is a certain way long enough, eventually the magic of “Acting As If” turns it that way. This is at least is determined by our attitude, which is eighty percent of the battle.
You might have wondered why in my guide almost every time I mention the word “could” I put it in parentheses. Here’s the reason: I have removed the word “should” from my vocabulary and replaced it with the word “could“. I’ve found “should” to be a shaming world. When I “should” on myself, I feel “less than” and anything that makes me feel “less than” is tainted by my addict. My caution to you is to think twice before using the word “should“. You might notice I have been very careful about my use of “should” in this guide because in no way do I wish to make you feel “less than.”
“Act As If”
And
Eventually it Will Become Real
4
Week Four
The Lists and
Forming Good Habits
My Yellow List- Week Four
Rewrite you yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 11._________________________
2. ______________________________ 12._________________________
3. ______________________________ 13. _________________________
4._______________________________ 14.__________________________
5._______________________________ 15.__________________________
6._______________________________ 16.__________________________
7._________________________________17._________________________
8.________________________________ 18._________________________
9.________________________________ 19. _________________________
10._______________________________ 20. _________________________
(Reminder list lengths can be adjusted)
My No Matter What Red List - Week Four
1. ________________________ 5. _____________________________
2. ________________________ 6. ____________________________
3. ________________________ 7. _____________________________
4. ________________________ 8. _____________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your No Matter What Red List.
♥If it’s not yet, increasing your B2BNo Matter What Red List day count has to be the number one priority in your life. Right now, your day count “could” be twenty-one.
♥One of the ways I stopped binging was by using what I call, “Think the binge through.” If you’re having trouble with this concept, go back and reread the binge paper I had you write in the Getting Started section. Keep in mind that if you “could” eat just one of anything on your No Matter What Red List, you would not have purchased my program. Now I can watch as I play out the scenario that would follow that first bite and recognize it for what it is...my addict/disease attempting to take away all I hold precious. This is what I call “thinking the binge through”.
♥Remember that saying over and over to yourself, FOOD IN ONE POCKET: LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX, will help you internalize that most important concept. Continue to put you new No Matter What Red List food into your food pocket.
♥Keep in mind that you make no food decisions after noon and definitely none at night. In fact, I’m even careful with what life decisions I make at night because my addict tries to interfere with any and all evening decisions I make.
♥If I can have a Thin and Serene Life, then so can you. It all started with one day. If that day has not started yet, it “could” start today. If you are already on your way, give yourself a pat on the back and a hip, hip hooray!
My Green List - Week Four
Your Green List is the same as last week. For this week, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. For lunch and dinner each day, your veggies will stay at exactly twelve ounces. Again peas, corn, potatoes, and yams may not be used for any of your measured vegetables. Some heavier veggies are tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
(One way to know if starchy carbs are a problem for you is; if your addict/disease wants you to have a starchy carb for dinner too: that “could’ mean you are like me and have an intolerance for starchy carbs. If starchy carbs are truly not a problem it should be a breeze to avoid them at dinner.)
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals, and remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Beginning to mentally envision that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥It’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count, keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few entities your addict respects.
Hey it’s me again your addict/disease;
I hate recovery. I hate support groups. I hate anyone who has a Program. To all that come in contact with me, I wish you suffering and death
♥ Just a reminder that if your number one concern is not how to put your addict/disease in it’s place, than your addict might just get it‘s wish. Hence, finding what it takes to counteract your addict needs to be your number one concern. And the only things that I have found that does this are; exactness and never giving up “one day at a time”.
OK, let’s talk about habits.
The concept of habits has been one of the foundations of my developing a Thin and Serene Way of Life; therefore, I’m giving it its own week.
Habits come in primarily two kinds, good and not so good and take about 21 days to begin forming. Now, I know more than I want to know about the not so good kinds, which seem to form in much less than 21 days and usually without my knowledge; at least that’s how it seemed to me before recovery. But since I’ve been in recovery, I’ve learned to appreciate this whole habit concept more than I ever thought I would. What I have learned is that if I’m diligent about something I want to change for 21 days, presto...like magic it starts to transform.
Now, can you think of any reason why I’ve chosen Week 4 to bring this up? (Hint: We have been working together three weeks or 21 days.)
One of my first big habit changes was a not so good to good kind of adjustment. I think those are the most compelling; at least for me. I will share my experience with you.
In early recovery, one of my hardest not eating times was at night. Now I know why that was. My disease tended to be a night owl, and made most if not all of my food decisions for me in the evening. But, at that time I did not know all about the “addict” concept, and just thought I was a bad person who could not keep from eating at night. Through trial and error, I figured out that I’m not a bad person, but a good one with a deadly disease inside her. What a relief it was to know that I was not a bad person, but I have a disease. I also started to notice at that time that my addict wasn’t as smart as she thought she was and I could trick her.
Armed with this information, I started telling her she could have whatever it was that she was trying to convince me I needed in the morning, (knowing that in the morning I would be strong again and in control). Every night we would replay this scenario with me tricking her into waiting until morning. This is how I accomplished getting my 6,935 days off sugar (one night at a time). After about a month, (21ish days) it started to become a little easier. It was by no means a cinch, but easier. About a year into my journey, night became my easiest time to stay out of the food because of the good habit I had unknowingly formed early in my recovery.
Activity:
Write a list of good habits you are beginning to form or would like to begin forming in the coming twenty- one days. I will help you by listing some possibilities. Considering we have been working together for over 21 days some of these habits “could” already be gaining strength.
♥Waiting until morning to make No Matter What Red List food changes
♥Weighing yourself only on the 1st and 15th
♥E-mailing me daily if you’re being coached
♥Being serious, but having fun, too
♥Realizing when your thoughts are your addict or when they’re yours
♥Patting yourself on the back when you do something good
♥Drinking an eight-ounce glass of water before each meal
♥Eating your exactly measured ounces of veggies for lunch and dinner
♥Waiting at least 4 hours between meals
♥Putting your stars on your calendar
♥Doing all the activities suggested in this guide
♥Taking lots of naps to stay out of the food
♥Making sure you always have water beside your bed (so you can drown your addict instead of feeding her)
♥Giving the things you put on your What Takes the Place of Food List a chance
♥Writing notes and especially “positive thoughts” in the Notes and Positive Thoughts sections
Good Habits I am forming and or want to form:
(You may adopt some or my entire list)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Coaching note: Send this list to me along with any insight you gained from the “forming good habits” concept.
Activity
Stay connected with others who understand food addiction. If you have not already done so, contact me and I will hook you up with another program person so you can offer each other, experience and hope as you work towards evicting your addicts.
Increasing My
No Matter What
Red List day count
has to be my
number one priority.
The Lists and
Forming Good Habits
My Yellow List- Week Four
Rewrite you yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 11._________________________
2. ______________________________ 12._________________________
3. ______________________________ 13. _________________________
4._______________________________ 14.__________________________
5._______________________________ 15.__________________________
6._______________________________ 16.__________________________
7._________________________________17._________________________
8.________________________________ 18._________________________
9.________________________________ 19. _________________________
10._______________________________ 20. _________________________
(Reminder list lengths can be adjusted)
My No Matter What Red List - Week Four
1. ________________________ 5. _____________________________
2. ________________________ 6. ____________________________
3. ________________________ 7. _____________________________
4. ________________________ 8. _____________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your No Matter What Red List.
♥If it’s not yet, increasing your B2BNo Matter What Red List day count has to be the number one priority in your life. Right now, your day count “could” be twenty-one.
♥One of the ways I stopped binging was by using what I call, “Think the binge through.” If you’re having trouble with this concept, go back and reread the binge paper I had you write in the Getting Started section. Keep in mind that if you “could” eat just one of anything on your No Matter What Red List, you would not have purchased my program. Now I can watch as I play out the scenario that would follow that first bite and recognize it for what it is...my addict/disease attempting to take away all I hold precious. This is what I call “thinking the binge through”.
♥Remember that saying over and over to yourself, FOOD IN ONE POCKET: LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX, will help you internalize that most important concept. Continue to put you new No Matter What Red List food into your food pocket.
♥Keep in mind that you make no food decisions after noon and definitely none at night. In fact, I’m even careful with what life decisions I make at night because my addict tries to interfere with any and all evening decisions I make.
♥If I can have a Thin and Serene Life, then so can you. It all started with one day. If that day has not started yet, it “could” start today. If you are already on your way, give yourself a pat on the back and a hip, hip hooray!
My Green List - Week Four
Your Green List is the same as last week. For this week, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. For lunch and dinner each day, your veggies will stay at exactly twelve ounces. Again peas, corn, potatoes, and yams may not be used for any of your measured vegetables. Some heavier veggies are tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
(One way to know if starchy carbs are a problem for you is; if your addict/disease wants you to have a starchy carb for dinner too: that “could’ mean you are like me and have an intolerance for starchy carbs. If starchy carbs are truly not a problem it should be a breeze to avoid them at dinner.)
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals, and remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Beginning to mentally envision that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥It’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count, keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few entities your addict respects.
Hey it’s me again your addict/disease;
I hate recovery. I hate support groups. I hate anyone who has a Program. To all that come in contact with me, I wish you suffering and death
♥ Just a reminder that if your number one concern is not how to put your addict/disease in it’s place, than your addict might just get it‘s wish. Hence, finding what it takes to counteract your addict needs to be your number one concern. And the only things that I have found that does this are; exactness and never giving up “one day at a time”.
OK, let’s talk about habits.
The concept of habits has been one of the foundations of my developing a Thin and Serene Way of Life; therefore, I’m giving it its own week.
Habits come in primarily two kinds, good and not so good and take about 21 days to begin forming. Now, I know more than I want to know about the not so good kinds, which seem to form in much less than 21 days and usually without my knowledge; at least that’s how it seemed to me before recovery. But since I’ve been in recovery, I’ve learned to appreciate this whole habit concept more than I ever thought I would. What I have learned is that if I’m diligent about something I want to change for 21 days, presto...like magic it starts to transform.
Now, can you think of any reason why I’ve chosen Week 4 to bring this up? (Hint: We have been working together three weeks or 21 days.)
One of my first big habit changes was a not so good to good kind of adjustment. I think those are the most compelling; at least for me. I will share my experience with you.
In early recovery, one of my hardest not eating times was at night. Now I know why that was. My disease tended to be a night owl, and made most if not all of my food decisions for me in the evening. But, at that time I did not know all about the “addict” concept, and just thought I was a bad person who could not keep from eating at night. Through trial and error, I figured out that I’m not a bad person, but a good one with a deadly disease inside her. What a relief it was to know that I was not a bad person, but I have a disease. I also started to notice at that time that my addict wasn’t as smart as she thought she was and I could trick her.
Armed with this information, I started telling her she could have whatever it was that she was trying to convince me I needed in the morning, (knowing that in the morning I would be strong again and in control). Every night we would replay this scenario with me tricking her into waiting until morning. This is how I accomplished getting my 6,935 days off sugar (one night at a time). After about a month, (21ish days) it started to become a little easier. It was by no means a cinch, but easier. About a year into my journey, night became my easiest time to stay out of the food because of the good habit I had unknowingly formed early in my recovery.
Activity:
Write a list of good habits you are beginning to form or would like to begin forming in the coming twenty- one days. I will help you by listing some possibilities. Considering we have been working together for over 21 days some of these habits “could” already be gaining strength.
♥Waiting until morning to make No Matter What Red List food changes
♥Weighing yourself only on the 1st and 15th
♥E-mailing me daily if you’re being coached
♥Being serious, but having fun, too
♥Realizing when your thoughts are your addict or when they’re yours
♥Patting yourself on the back when you do something good
♥Drinking an eight-ounce glass of water before each meal
♥Eating your exactly measured ounces of veggies for lunch and dinner
♥Waiting at least 4 hours between meals
♥Putting your stars on your calendar
♥Doing all the activities suggested in this guide
♥Taking lots of naps to stay out of the food
♥Making sure you always have water beside your bed (so you can drown your addict instead of feeding her)
♥Giving the things you put on your What Takes the Place of Food List a chance
♥Writing notes and especially “positive thoughts” in the Notes and Positive Thoughts sections
Good Habits I am forming and or want to form:
(You may adopt some or my entire list)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Coaching note: Send this list to me along with any insight you gained from the “forming good habits” concept.
Activity
Stay connected with others who understand food addiction. If you have not already done so, contact me and I will hook you up with another program person so you can offer each other, experience and hope as you work towards evicting your addicts.
Increasing My
No Matter What
Red List day count
has to be my
number one priority.
Week 3 The Lists and Positive Self Talk
Week Three
The Lists and
What Takes the Place of the food?
Positive Self Talk
My Yellow List - Week Three
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
This list could be quite long.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Three
This list will be much shorter.
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so. Remember that you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go, as long as you wait until morning to do so.
♥If you’re struggling with getting three star days, you might start saying to yourself, “FOOD IN ONE POCKET; LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON‘T MIX”. In the beginning, I had to say this hundreds of times a day.
♥Remember, the scale can be your friend or your worst enemy. Keep in mind that your addict sometimes take up residency in your scales, especially on days that aren’t the 1st or 15th of the month. If you’re having trouble with weighing other than on the 1st or 15th, now is the time to tackle that, too. If need be, have someone hide your scales. There is no good reason why you need to be weighing more than twice a month. Now there are many reasons why your addict would like you to weigh more than that, but not one of them is in your favor. Refraining from weighing will also add to strengthening your abstinent muscle.
♥In the beginning of my recovery, I slept a great deal of the time in order to stay away from food. I allowed myself to be as lazy as I needed to be as long as I stayed out of the No Matter What Red List foods. Hence, I encourage you to take as many naps as you need. Consider it your “addict” repelling medicine. Believe me, naps were a major force in my becoming Thin and Serene.
♥When you do take a nap, know that when you wake up, most likely your first thought will be food, but what your body really wants is water/H2O. Set a glass or bottle of water beside your bed to drink as soon as you wake up. Even if this does not happen to you, I would take the precaution and drink the water anyway since our bodies dehydrate when sleeping and you don’t want to give your addict a toehold.
My Green List -Week Three
Some of the Green List items will stay the same while others will change or increase. You will need to read them over carefully to see what adjustments, if any, have been made each week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. For lunch each day, you need to increase your vegetables to exactly twelve ounces. Again peas, corn, potatoes, and yams may not be used for any of your measured vegetables. Some heavier veggies are tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
3. Your dinner will stay the same, exactly twelve ounces, the same as lunch. You may not be thanking me but your body is.
4., Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb (Many of us have had our
share these type carbs and are better leaving them for those
who haven’t)
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb (Enough warnings about the
possible evils of starchy carbs. Just keep in mind that if you are
having trouble increasing your b2b No Matter What Red List day
count starchy carbs “could” be the culprit.)
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals
5. Beginning to know in your head that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥“There’s another meal coming“. Even though intellectually I knew the above statement to be true, before my journey, my heart I did not know it. What ever part of the brain that let’s us really know, “There’s another meal coming“, in my brain was broken. My disease/addict had figures out some way to destroy that part of my brain. For me, every meal was my last. Now thanks to the exactness of weighing my food and staying away from my No Matter What red list foods that part of my brain has been miraculously repaired. Now, I know beyond any shadow of a doubt “There is always another meal coming”. In fact in most months I have 90 meals coming and in a year I have over 1000 meals coming.
This change did not happen overnight. In the beginning it took a lot of reminding myself. (At the end of this section you will find a decorative page with “There’s “Always” Another Meal Coming” written on it for you to display to help you begin to internalize this concept.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a tool that helped me rewrite negative tapes about myself and my life. These negative thoughts blocked me from reaching my goal of having a Thin and Serene Life. I used positive self-talk to counter specific negative thoughts, and to bring me back to myself - to remind me that I am a remarkable human being. Here are some of my favorite positive affirmations:
I love myself.
I can and do create joy in my life.
I am more than enough.
I am never confused.
I always do the right thing for me.
It never get upset.
People, places and things don't upset me.
I can easily say No to people without losing their love.
I ask for help whenever I need it.
I am surrounded by an abundance of love.
I choose to forgive myself and others.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe
I am complete.
I am happy.
I give myself permission to do what I know is best for me.
I like myself, and because of that others like themselves.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
I have a ton of love in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I make friends easily.
I'm a awesome person just the way I am.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I grow Spiritually on a daily basis.
I know what is best for me and I act on it.
I'm in touch with my inner being.
My inner being leads me on the right path.
My defense mechanisms are no longer necessary because I am a wonderful person.
I do a great job of controlling my attitude.
I am a Divine being.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me,
including myself.
I deserve and recieve credit for my successes and accomplishments .
I give myself permission to not care about what others think.
I am very powerful.
I am a winner.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with them.
I pat myself on the back regularly.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am fully alive.
I trust myself completely to know what is right for me.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I am at peace with my Universe
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
I always have enough money for all that I want.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I accept myself completely.
I love and accept myself.
I can easily acknowledge all the pain and release it.
I am the only one who knows my “truth” and how to live it.
I am a unique and special person.
I am at one with the Universe.
I am constantly amazed at the magnificence that is me.
It is OK for others to say No to me - it does not mean they do not love me.
I am unique, loving, loved, and free.
The power within me is greater than whatever is in front of me.
What others think of me is none of my business.
When i don't forgive someone it only hurts me.
It's easy for me to forgive others because I'm doing it for me.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and everlasting.
I nurture my inner child by loving her and allowing her to heal.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with myself and all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love.
The more honest I am with those around me, and they love me for it.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I spent two full years of my recovery bringing positive energy into my life by embracing positive affirmations. I worked with them in several different ways. For awhile I wrote affirmations daily, then I wrote them only when I was feeling down or in stressful situations. One thing I did habitually was to write the affirmations that really called to me at any specific time.
Activity
As a daily activity write at least ten affirmations that really talk to you. To succeed in my program all you have to do is absolutely never ever give up.
Most of us have experienced too much of quitting. Usually what we do is expect too much and give up when we do not meet our own expectations. This can become a vicious cycle.
As I have said before, the answer is simple; it may not be easy but it is simple. If you truly want something, it will happen. Keep in mind that all you have to do to succeed in my program is to get up more often than you fall down.
I realize that a journey of this nature is not always straight forward. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and one or two steps back. I’ve put my program together with the hope that you won’t have too many setbacks, but even if you do, all you have to do is to keep trudging down the road to happy destiny and you will eventually get to the end as long as you don’t give up.
Keep in mind that negative energy produces more negative energy. Fortunately, the opposite is also true, positive energy builds positive energy and my guide is filled with positive energy. Most of my activities are directed at helping you keep your glass half full instead of half empty. A positive attitude will propel you forward eventually making all things possible
Here's a little message about thinking you have to do my program perfectly. I have never considered myself a perfectionist, but at one point in my journey I realized I was getting very frustrated because I was not progressing as fast as I thought I ”should” be. (There I go “shoulding” on myself again). Then I realized I did have a perfectionist side to me. What I finally recognized was that “for me” mastery is not a ten, it’s an eight. I was feeling like I was not getting anywhere because I was not experiencing a number 10 mastery in the situations I was working on.
Let me give you an example so you can understand more fully what I’m talking about. I have always struggled with being insecure, and after working on it for about a year I realized I still felt insecure quite often. Of course this made me feel like I was making little or no progress. Then I examined the situation a little more closely and saw that yes, I still felt insecure at times, but what had changed was how I acted when I felt that way. That had changed tremendously.
Thus my “aha” that mastery is an eight not a ten. This new understanding was the turning of another corner. What all this mean is that if you feel you are at a level six or seven in relationship to change, that’s almost mastery. So you have most likely come a lot further then you originally thought before reading this paragraph.
Activity
Write down as many areas as you can think of where you are making progress toward becoming a Thin and Serene you.
(Now that I have said it’s not important to be perfect in working my program, I need to say that there is one area where you do need to be perfect and that is: “KEEP YOUR NO MATTER WHAT Red LIST FOODS IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
The Lists and
What Takes the Place of the food?
Positive Self Talk
My Yellow List - Week Three
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
This list could be quite long.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Three
This list will be much shorter.
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so. Remember that you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go, as long as you wait until morning to do so.
♥If you’re struggling with getting three star days, you might start saying to yourself, “FOOD IN ONE POCKET; LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON‘T MIX”. In the beginning, I had to say this hundreds of times a day.
♥Remember, the scale can be your friend or your worst enemy. Keep in mind that your addict sometimes take up residency in your scales, especially on days that aren’t the 1st or 15th of the month. If you’re having trouble with weighing other than on the 1st or 15th, now is the time to tackle that, too. If need be, have someone hide your scales. There is no good reason why you need to be weighing more than twice a month. Now there are many reasons why your addict would like you to weigh more than that, but not one of them is in your favor. Refraining from weighing will also add to strengthening your abstinent muscle.
♥In the beginning of my recovery, I slept a great deal of the time in order to stay away from food. I allowed myself to be as lazy as I needed to be as long as I stayed out of the No Matter What Red List foods. Hence, I encourage you to take as many naps as you need. Consider it your “addict” repelling medicine. Believe me, naps were a major force in my becoming Thin and Serene.
♥When you do take a nap, know that when you wake up, most likely your first thought will be food, but what your body really wants is water/H2O. Set a glass or bottle of water beside your bed to drink as soon as you wake up. Even if this does not happen to you, I would take the precaution and drink the water anyway since our bodies dehydrate when sleeping and you don’t want to give your addict a toehold.
My Green List -Week Three
Some of the Green List items will stay the same while others will change or increase. You will need to read them over carefully to see what adjustments, if any, have been made each week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. For lunch each day, you need to increase your vegetables to exactly twelve ounces. Again peas, corn, potatoes, and yams may not be used for any of your measured vegetables. Some heavier veggies are tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
3. Your dinner will stay the same, exactly twelve ounces, the same as lunch. You may not be thanking me but your body is.
4., Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb (Many of us have had our
share these type carbs and are better leaving them for those
who haven’t)
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb (Enough warnings about the
possible evils of starchy carbs. Just keep in mind that if you are
having trouble increasing your b2b No Matter What Red List day
count starchy carbs “could” be the culprit.)
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals
5. Beginning to know in your head that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥“There’s another meal coming“. Even though intellectually I knew the above statement to be true, before my journey, my heart I did not know it. What ever part of the brain that let’s us really know, “There’s another meal coming“, in my brain was broken. My disease/addict had figures out some way to destroy that part of my brain. For me, every meal was my last. Now thanks to the exactness of weighing my food and staying away from my No Matter What red list foods that part of my brain has been miraculously repaired. Now, I know beyond any shadow of a doubt “There is always another meal coming”. In fact in most months I have 90 meals coming and in a year I have over 1000 meals coming.
This change did not happen overnight. In the beginning it took a lot of reminding myself. (At the end of this section you will find a decorative page with “There’s “Always” Another Meal Coming” written on it for you to display to help you begin to internalize this concept.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a tool that helped me rewrite negative tapes about myself and my life. These negative thoughts blocked me from reaching my goal of having a Thin and Serene Life. I used positive self-talk to counter specific negative thoughts, and to bring me back to myself - to remind me that I am a remarkable human being. Here are some of my favorite positive affirmations:
I love myself.
I can and do create joy in my life.
I am more than enough.
I am never confused.
I always do the right thing for me.
It never get upset.
People, places and things don't upset me.
I can easily say No to people without losing their love.
I ask for help whenever I need it.
I am surrounded by an abundance of love.
I choose to forgive myself and others.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe
I am complete.
I am happy.
I give myself permission to do what I know is best for me.
I like myself, and because of that others like themselves.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
I have a ton of love in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I make friends easily.
I'm a awesome person just the way I am.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I grow Spiritually on a daily basis.
I know what is best for me and I act on it.
I'm in touch with my inner being.
My inner being leads me on the right path.
My defense mechanisms are no longer necessary because I am a wonderful person.
I do a great job of controlling my attitude.
I am a Divine being.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me,
including myself.
I deserve and recieve credit for my successes and accomplishments .
I give myself permission to not care about what others think.
I am very powerful.
I am a winner.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with them.
I pat myself on the back regularly.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am fully alive.
I trust myself completely to know what is right for me.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I am at peace with my Universe
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
I always have enough money for all that I want.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I accept myself completely.
I love and accept myself.
I can easily acknowledge all the pain and release it.
I am the only one who knows my “truth” and how to live it.
I am a unique and special person.
I am at one with the Universe.
I am constantly amazed at the magnificence that is me.
It is OK for others to say No to me - it does not mean they do not love me.
I am unique, loving, loved, and free.
The power within me is greater than whatever is in front of me.
What others think of me is none of my business.
When i don't forgive someone it only hurts me.
It's easy for me to forgive others because I'm doing it for me.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and everlasting.
I nurture my inner child by loving her and allowing her to heal.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with myself and all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love.
The more honest I am with those around me, and they love me for it.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I spent two full years of my recovery bringing positive energy into my life by embracing positive affirmations. I worked with them in several different ways. For awhile I wrote affirmations daily, then I wrote them only when I was feeling down or in stressful situations. One thing I did habitually was to write the affirmations that really called to me at any specific time.
Activity
As a daily activity write at least ten affirmations that really talk to you. To succeed in my program all you have to do is absolutely never ever give up.
Most of us have experienced too much of quitting. Usually what we do is expect too much and give up when we do not meet our own expectations. This can become a vicious cycle.
As I have said before, the answer is simple; it may not be easy but it is simple. If you truly want something, it will happen. Keep in mind that all you have to do to succeed in my program is to get up more often than you fall down.
I realize that a journey of this nature is not always straight forward. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and one or two steps back. I’ve put my program together with the hope that you won’t have too many setbacks, but even if you do, all you have to do is to keep trudging down the road to happy destiny and you will eventually get to the end as long as you don’t give up.
Keep in mind that negative energy produces more negative energy. Fortunately, the opposite is also true, positive energy builds positive energy and my guide is filled with positive energy. Most of my activities are directed at helping you keep your glass half full instead of half empty. A positive attitude will propel you forward eventually making all things possible
Here's a little message about thinking you have to do my program perfectly. I have never considered myself a perfectionist, but at one point in my journey I realized I was getting very frustrated because I was not progressing as fast as I thought I ”should” be. (There I go “shoulding” on myself again). Then I realized I did have a perfectionist side to me. What I finally recognized was that “for me” mastery is not a ten, it’s an eight. I was feeling like I was not getting anywhere because I was not experiencing a number 10 mastery in the situations I was working on.
Let me give you an example so you can understand more fully what I’m talking about. I have always struggled with being insecure, and after working on it for about a year I realized I still felt insecure quite often. Of course this made me feel like I was making little or no progress. Then I examined the situation a little more closely and saw that yes, I still felt insecure at times, but what had changed was how I acted when I felt that way. That had changed tremendously.
Thus my “aha” that mastery is an eight not a ten. This new understanding was the turning of another corner. What all this mean is that if you feel you are at a level six or seven in relationship to change, that’s almost mastery. So you have most likely come a lot further then you originally thought before reading this paragraph.
Activity
Write down as many areas as you can think of where you are making progress toward becoming a Thin and Serene you.
(Now that I have said it’s not important to be perfect in working my program, I need to say that there is one area where you do need to be perfect and that is: “KEEP YOUR NO MATTER WHAT Red LIST FOODS IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
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