6

Week Six




The Lists and

Loving Yourself






My Yellow List - Week Six
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. ______________________________ 8. __________________________
3. ______________________________ 9. __________________________
4 _______________________________ 10. _________________________
5,_______________________________ 11. ________________________
6. ______________________________ 12. ________________________





♥Your Yellow List needs to be used only when necessary; it need not be a free for all. Be sure “you” are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your disease/addict.


My No Matter What Red List - Week six

1. __________________________ 8. ______________________
2. __________________________ 9. ______________________
3. __________________________ 10. ______________________
4. __________________________ 11. ______________________
5.___________________________ 12. ______________________
6.___________________________ 13. ______________________
7. __________________________ 14. _______________________

♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so, remembering you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go yet (as long as you wait until morning to do so).
♥Reminder: When difficulties surface in your life and you feel the need to eat over them, write down what they are on a slip of paper and place it into your life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food, which is safe and in a separate pocket
♥One day at a time, I will not eat sugar again for primarily two reasons; one being that it makes me insane and the other is that I’ve had my share of sugar. In fact, I had more than my share of sugar in my first 33 years. I’m sure I had my share and at least one or two other people’s shares. I can relate to this because when I was young, my mom spent a great deal of time teaching me the sharing concept.
Activity
Maybe you too have items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of also. Make a list of the items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of.
Coaching Note: Write to me about all the items on your No Matter What Red List that fall into this category.



My Green List - Week Six
For this week concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch is still exactly twelve ounces of vegetables.
3. For dinner, you will need to increase your exactly weighed vegetables to sixteen ounces. Remember your body loves veggies. By now I’m sure you are well aware of the heavier ones.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchycarb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
5. Beginning to know in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.





♥If you haven’t already, you need to ask yourself why you have not made your exactly weighed vegetables part or your No Matter What Day Count.
Loving Yourself
In about the third year of my food recovery I was at a meeting with other food-recovering people when a friend came up to me and said, “You look like you’re doing well.” My response was,” Yes, I am.” At that point he said in somewhat of a derogatory voice, "What have you done, fallen in love?” Without even a moments thought, I replied,” Yes, I have with myself!”
That was the beginning of my love affair with myself. It was the first time I realized that I really did love myself. Now the problem was how to nurture it. Not having had a good role model for this, it was not something that came naturally to me.
So what did I do? I went out and bought a book called, How to Be Your Own Best Friend. That sounded like a good place to start. I read through the book and marked all the entries that peaked my interest. Then I started incorporating them into my daily life.
One that has stuck with me to this day is this: The first time you notice that your car needs gas, pull into a service station and get gas (unless this is unfeasible). I think this particular idea had such an impact on me because it seemed so simple and even to some extent silly, but I found that when I did it, I did feel good about myself. You might want to try it!
What you will find next is a list of things I did that made me feel good about myself
♥Wrote special things about myself on notes and put them everywhere.
♥Placed inspirational pictures on my computer. I found out how to make my screen saver a power point picture show.
♥Wrote positive affirmations. (This topic will be covered in depth later).
♥Bought flowers for myself. I love flowers! My favorites are baby carnations, especially those that smell like cinnamon.
♥ Bought a supply of candles with scents I simply adore and burned them. (If you’re not using up at least one every two weeks, you’re probably not burning them as much as you “could“).
♥Purchased some fragrant massage oil and took the time to rub it into my feet every few days. It definitely makes my feet feel like I’m their friend.
♥Holiday decorating is a gift I give to myself. My holiday season pig-out used to start a month before Halloween and last until after Easter. Now instead of eating during this time period, I decorate. I love ornamentation!
♥I would never talk disrespectfully to a best friend. Therefore I never talk that way to myself (anymore). I call myself “Sweetie.” As a matter of fact, I call everyone “Sweetie.” My journey provided me with a world in which most people I know are my “sweeties,” especially myself.
Activity: Pick an endearing name for yourself. Some choices are Sweetie, Honey and Dear. Start using it when you are doing self-talk. I do call myself “Silly.” I’m 52 and do many “silly” things. (Some might call them “stupid” things, but I chose to call them “silly”.)
Let’s go back to the time with all the blossoming flowers I spoke of earlier.
One spring a few years into my food recovery journey, it seemed like every single person in the town that I lived in had planted twice as many flowers than ever before. It was one of the most breathtaking experiences. I moved around all that spring just amazed at how beautiful my world had suddenly become. Since then flowers hold a special meaning for me. Before that time, not too much excited me. I used to take a trip to Disneyland to motivate me, but only the thought of it was enticing. When I was actually there, it was disappointing. That was the first of many life-altering corners I turned. I say life altering because since that time I have developed what I call a Low Delight Level or LDL, which simply put is it takes next to nothing to delight me.
Some delightful things that help me be a better friend to myself are:
♥Hummingbirds: Until a few summers ago I don’t remember ever having seen one before. I’m sure they were around, but I was just too into the food to notice. Watching hummingbirds makes me feel like a little kid inside all giddy. I have given myself the gift of a hummingbird feeder on my back porch where I can sit and immerse myself for hours in this lovely creature. People have asked me what’s big enough to take the place of “the food” and one answer is hummingbirds.
♥A newly mopped and especially waxed kitchen floor. I waxed mine over two weeks ago and the shine can still bring a smile to my face.
♥Most of the clothes in my closet: Clothes used to only excite me when I was buying them, now I find myself delighting in them for months (sometimes years) after purchasing them. I also have a pair of black boots that have lasted for over 5 years and each winter when I get them out I’m still eager to put them on.
♥Complimenting others makes me feel really good. I make sure when I notice something nice about someone to compliment them on it. In the beginning I had to look for flattering words since I was not in the habit of focusing on others let alone seeing what was special about them.
♥My eyelash comb: It tickles me pink every time I comb my eyelashes before I apply a second coat of mascara. (Who would have ever thought?)
♥My Herban Essentials Body Oil: This is another gift of love I offer myself. I find that my appreciation for fragrant scents has increased in direct proportion to how out of the way the food is. I’m really into aroma therapy and these oils permeate my soul.
♥Quick vacuuming jobs: The ones you do when you have 10 extra minutes before work
♥Folding warm clothes: Now that I don’t have the fat to insulate me, I get cold easily.
♥Taking the time to pet my cat, Taffy, and she likes it too.
♥Becoming best friends with humor and laughter: I have made a serious assault on humor and laughter...no way was I going to let that friendship escape! I spent year three of my journey bringing more laughter and humor into my life. When I can laugh at myself and the world around me, it’s less likely that I will eat. I did not acquire these views growing up. There are many concepts or tools I did not learn as a child that I needed to know in order to stay out of the food. It does not matter why I did not learn them. What matters is that I spent the last 19 years learning them, and have put this program together in order to share them with you.
Here’s some of what I learned about embracing more humor:
♥Laughter is very powerful medicine. It can lower stress, dissolve anger and unite families in their resolve to overcome troubled times.
♥Without humor, one's thought processes are likely to become stuck and narrowly focused leading to increased stress and the desire to numb out by overeating.
♥Nothing is good or bad. It’s my attitude toward life that determines my enjoyment or lack of it. Laughter helps me look at most things in a better light.
♥Little children laugh about 300 times a day while adults engage an average of 17 times a day. Hence, I want to grow up to be just like my 3-year old grand- daughter.
♥Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement as well as set off a number of positive physical side effects. A good hearty laugh can help:
♥reduce stress,
♥lower blood pressure,
♥elevate mood,
♥boost immune system
♥improve brain functioning,
♥protect the heart,
♥connect you to others,
♥foster instant relaxation and simply make you feel good
Laughing at my circumstances or myself helps reveal that most things are not as earth shattering as they sometimes seem to be. Oftentimes when an unpleasant event occurs, I pretend that it’s happening on a television show that I’m watching so I can distance myself and see the humor in the situation.
Humor changes the way I think, and it was my “stinking thinking” that caused my weight to soar to over 200 pounds. Consequently, with the help of my friend, Laughter, I was able to stay at under 130 pounds for over a year and a half.
The following is a list of humorous activities you “could” embrace:
♥Look for the every day humor. Start searching for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that surround you each day.
Observe infants and young children to learn how to find delight and amusement in the most ordinary things.
Increase your exposure to comedies, comic sitcoms, joke books, comedy clubs, etc.
Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.
Take a 5-10 minute humor break each day. Read jokes, add to a humor notebook, and listen to a funny tape.
If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.
Remind yourself to have fun. Spend time with those who help you see the bright side, and whenever possible, avoid people who are negative and dour.
Laughter is very contagious, pass it around; it’s a welcome healthy relief from the doldrums.
I used to feel that if I did not eat, I would surely die. I now I feel so many wonderful sensations inside me that I could explode with happiness. Sometimes I have to do something very mundane to calm all the emotions bubbling over in me brought about by how fantastic my life has become.
Now don’t get me wrong, unpleasantness happens in my life. I just don’t seem to become blindsided by it anymore. I’m going to wait until significant life problems crop up before I feel horrible, and enjoy all my blessings of which there are many. My life (where I live, where I work, many of the things I do) has not changed much in the last 19 years; however, the way I react to it was changed drastically. Before everything used to be a reason to eat, now there is no good reason to eat foods that are not good for me because “I KEEP MY FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND MY LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”































What Loving Thing
can I do
for
Myself Today?