"My' Recipe for Success
Sharing My Experience, Strength and Hope: Serving # 2
My recipe for Success has only one ingredient and that ingredient is "standing up". All I have to do to Suceed is "stand up" more times than I fall down. In my 20 year recovery journey I do not feel I have failed even once because my only criteria for Success is to "stand back up" after I fall.
Now don't get me wrong, my journey has not been easy. I have taken many falls. A lot of my journey, especially in the beginning, has been three step forward and two steps back. I have tripped many times and fallen on my face more times than I would like to admit. But I have never once felt like a failure because all that I require of myself to be a success is to "stand up" more times then I fall down.
One of my "Truths" is that; failure is not a forward moving concept for me. Hence, for my recovery journey to progress I need to make sure that I never feel like a failure. This is why my recipe for success is simply: Success = Standing up more times than I fall down. If you want the above to become your "Truth" this activity is for you.
Possible activity #1; Make a poster(s) that says one or all of the following things
As Long As I Keep
"Standing up"
I can not fail.
or
Success=
"Standing Up"
More Times Than
I Fall Down
or
To Suceed
All I Need To Do Is
Keep
"Standing Up"
Now tape it to your fridge. It usually took about 21 days for me to start to believe new "Truths". It just might work for you too.
Now that I believe it is next to impossibe for me to fail, I can put my total concentration on getting up off the ground as fast as possible when I do fall. In early recovery, I would sometimes stay on the ground for days often times until the next Monday. Then I realized it did not have to sit on the floor that long I "could" get up the next morning.
Miracles really started happening to me when I realized I "could" even get up immediately after falling down. Now many time, I'm not even all the way down before I'm back up and going again. It's exciting even writing this because I can see how far I have come from flat out, falling on my face to an occasional stumble now and then.
Another reason I believe I have been successful in losing my weight and keeping it off these 6,500+ days or 19 years is because I refuse to give up. I find that when I feel like giving up it's usually in the evening. That's the time that the food addict in me is the strongest and makes part, if not all of my decisions. Having learned this, I can then counter those thoughts, knowing I'm not really thinking them my addict is. Thus, one of the rules I have is any decisions to give up can only be made in the morning. I don't think I have even once wanted to give up in the morning.
Even after 20 years of recovery I still think twice about night time decisions, unless it's an emergency I wait until morning to make most of my decisions. In fact, just the other night I thought I needed to make a particular telephone call, I mean it really felt like it needed to be made right then. But, beings it was not an emergency I held off. The next morning the call did not seems important at all. And all I could think of was, what a mess it would have made by making that call.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
12
Week Twelve
The Lists and Physical Activity
The Lists
My yellow list
Rewrite you yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
-Continue cheerleading yourself, you deserve it.
My No Matter What Red List Week Twelve
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
♥If it does not support your abstinence, you “could” give it the boot. It’s time to take a closer look and start thinking about those things you are still doing that don’t support your abstinence. If something does not support my abstinence, out the door it goes. I refuse to entertain any behaviors that make me vulnerable to my addict. Let me share one of the one’s I let go of recently.
Up until a few years ago, even though I had not eaten sweets for many, many years, I was still buying “goodies” for my family. Why, because they needed them. (This is a phrase I have since learned to be skeptical of. Therefore, if you find yourself uttering that phrase, you might want to take a closer look.) When I took a closer look at my “goodie” buying I found I was vicariously getting pleasure from this behavior.
I would spend engrossing hours pouring over the food ads deciding what scrumptious goodies my family “needed“. Then I would buy bags of sweets and store them in a suitcase in the basement and get mad if anyone ate too many. At the time this seemed like rational behavior: now, I can see how truly insane it was. What made me stop was; One day I was berating my husband for eating too many, when he said, “If you don’t want me to eat them, why do you buy them”. For some divine reason, this opened my eyes and I was able to see my addict was controlling me in this manners.
Now if my family wants treats they go and buy them themselves and sometimes even then I throw them out if they start conversing with me. Keep in mind, it’s impossible to bake someone happy or cook someone love.
Your Green List Week Twelve
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to get in your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch at home or away will remain, twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner at home or away will be the same as last week exactly sixteen ounces.
4. 4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. .
♥A few more words on “goodies” Do all the people I’m baking “goodies” for really need the “goodies“. Just because I’ve always bake x for this or y for that doesn’t mean it need to continue that way. Your abstaining from your No Matter What Red List food needs to be the number one priority in your life. If baking or fixing those foods for others interferes with accomplishing that, then there is only one real answer! As I look back over my nineteen years, I can visit at least a dozen traditions that I have change or completely let go of.
When you find yourself looking back in longing and feeling you are being deprived, set down and reread the how you felt after the last binge paper or you letter to you addict/disease
.
Recovery means going to any length to stay away from your No Matter What Red List foods. You need to be willing “for today” to give up any and all things that interfere, including cooking, baking, friends, certain meals for my family.
.Activity
List five or more traditions that you “could” think of letting go of
Physical Activity
You notice I did not say exercise; don’t get me wrong, I’m all for exercising. But I think the easiest way to prime the exercise pump is to start with increased activity, hence that’s where we will start. (If you already have an exercise program going, feel free to skip ahead.)
Since becoming Thin and Serene has primarily been an inside job, that’s how we will approach increasing our activity.. Therefore, the question is how do we get ready to embrace increased activity? It’s as easy as changing your attitude about extra movement.
So the next time you’re in your car and remember you forgot something in the house, don’t groan; just think, as you’re hopping out of the car, I’m priming my exercise pump and run into the house and get what you need. There are many incidences in our daily life when we have to run and get something we need and we usually go and get it begrudgingly. As humans, why are we so against movement, let alone exercise? We are a society of couch potatoes, chair potatoes, bed potatoes; we seem to have a personal vendetta against movement! Thus, that’s where I would encourage you to start.
Some other examples of increased activity are:
Parking and walking
Parking in the back of the lot
Returning the shopping cart to the store. (I still struggle with that one.)
Taking the stairs
Going out and starting the car so it will be warm or cool when you leave. With this one you get, “a two for one“; additional activity and a warm or cool car.
Refilling the bird feeders.
Any type of housework. Another “two for one”.
Washing the car
Activity
Keep a journal for a week of how you’re inviting additional activity into you life. Coaching note; send me your daily activity Journal.
Laughter gives our bodies a good workout too. Laughter can be a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles. It massages abdominal organs, tones intestinal functioning, and strengthens the muscles that hold the abdominal organs in place. Not only does laughter give your midsection a workout, it can benefit digestion and absorption functioning as well. It is estimated that hearty laughter can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or the exercise bike. So don’t forget to continue the assault on humor you started in Week six.
Don’t forget the importance of stretching in becoming a Thin and Serene You.
Stretching is just as essential as exercise. For we baby boomers especially, some days stretching is more imperative than exercise. Some of the benefits of stretching are:
© Increased flexibility and better range of motion. The 'use it or lose it' concept.
© Improved circulation, which can shorten your recovery time if you should happen to hurt yourself.
© Better posture. Good posture can minimize discomfort and keep aches and pains at bay…another thing we baby boomers need to be mindful of)
© Relieves stress. Stretching relaxes tight, tense muscles that often accompany stress.
© Makes us better coordinated, thus keeping us less prone to falls.
Basic stretches improve your flexibility and focus on your body's major muscle groups: calf, thigh, hip, lower back, neck and shoulder.
-It’s important to warm up first. Hence I usually do my stretching during my exercise. I even consider it as part of my exercise; about every five minutes I do some stretching.
♥Warm up first. Stretching muscles when they're cold increases your risk of pulled muscles. Warm up by doing a favorite exercise at low intensity for five minutes.
♥Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds, up to 60 seconds for a really tight muscle or problem area. That can seem like a long time, so wear a watch or keep an eye on the clock to make sure you're holding your stretches long enough. For most of your muscle groups, if you hold the stretches for at least 30 seconds, you'll need to do each stretch only once.
♥Don't bounce. Just hold the stretch.
♥If you feel pain as you stretch, you've gone too far. Back off to the point where you don't feel any pain, then hold the stretch.
♥Don't hold your breath while you're stretching.
Stretching is something you can do easily anytime, anywhere — in your home, your office, or even when you're traveling. Aim to stretch at least three times a week. If you can't get a full workout in, you can still benefit from stretching at least that often.
Next come the first steps in starting an exercise program. Whatever you choose to do as your exercise, the most important thing is to start out slowly. Don’t overdo it. Many people are so gung ho in the beginning that they burn themselves out before they really get going. Keep in mind that any exercise is better than none
One of the tricks I used to make sure I exercised is that when I get up in the morning, if I plan on exercising but don't feel like it yet, I put on my exercise clothes to remind myself that I will be exercising soon. It seems to mentally get me ready to exercise. In fact, I’m sitting here typing this in my exercise clothes because it’s too early to do the run I'm planning on, but I want to remind myself that we are going for a run soon. It’s more difficult for my addict to talk me out of running if I’m ready to go when the time to run arrives.
Another way I trick myself into exercising when I don’t feel like it is to say,” Let’s at least go down and lie on the exercise floor just in case you feel like it, and in a few minutes, you’ll be there ready to go." By getting myself into my exercise room there’s an eighty percent change I will get at the minimum a short workout, and on the mornings I fall back to sleep on the exercise floor, I figure I must have needed sleep more than exercise
An easy routine I do that can be adapted to any cardio exercise (jogging, swimming, in-line skating, biking, aerobic dance etc.) is:
1. Warm up at an easy pace for five minutes. (1-5 minutes)
2. Stretch for three minutes (6-8 minutes)
3.. Do whatever cardio activity you’re doing as fast as you can for forty-five
seconds to a minute. (9 minutes)
4. For the next four minutes do your activity at a medium pace. (10-13 minutes)
4. Return to doing your activity as fast as you can for forty-five seconds
to a minute. (14 minutes)
5. Stretch for two minutes. (15-16 minutes)
5. Go back to the medium pace for four more minutes. (17-20 minutes)
6. Return to the fast as you can for forty-five seconds to a minute. (21 minutes)
7. Go back to the medium pace for two more minutes. (22-23 minutes)
8. Return to the fast as you can pace for forty-five seconds to a minute.
(24 minutes)
9. Cool down at an easy pace for at least three minutes. (25-28 minutes)
10. Stretch at least two minutes (29-30 minutes)
Initially, I don’t suggest that you invest too much money on fitness. Save your investment until you have some type of exercise regimen already in place and have persisted with it for six weeks or so.
It’s suggested that a person do three cardio workouts and two resistance/weight workouts a week. These sessions “could” be 20 to 30 minutes in length. I work out five days a week. Most of those days I do so for about an hour. Keep in mind that I do a great deal of stretching before, during and after my workouts; hence, the hour length.
The trick to getting an exercise program going is consistency. In the beginning, focus on consistency as opposed to the length of your sessions. Even if you exercise for only five minutes it counts as a session. It’s better to have four or five short sessions a week than two hour-long sessions a week. Even if you only have ten minutes, go for it. Remember your addict/disease will try to get you not to exercise by helping you conjure up excuses. The excuse my addict likes the best is that we don’t have enough time. But all I need is ten minutes.
Activity
Put an extra star on your calendar for the days you exercise, even if it's only for five minutes.
If it does not
support my
abstinence,
out the door it goes.
Any Kind of Movement is good!
And The more Movement the better.
The Lists and Physical Activity
The Lists
My yellow list
Rewrite you yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
-Continue cheerleading yourself, you deserve it.
My No Matter What Red List Week Twelve
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
♥If it does not support your abstinence, you “could” give it the boot. It’s time to take a closer look and start thinking about those things you are still doing that don’t support your abstinence. If something does not support my abstinence, out the door it goes. I refuse to entertain any behaviors that make me vulnerable to my addict. Let me share one of the one’s I let go of recently.
Up until a few years ago, even though I had not eaten sweets for many, many years, I was still buying “goodies” for my family. Why, because they needed them. (This is a phrase I have since learned to be skeptical of. Therefore, if you find yourself uttering that phrase, you might want to take a closer look.) When I took a closer look at my “goodie” buying I found I was vicariously getting pleasure from this behavior.
I would spend engrossing hours pouring over the food ads deciding what scrumptious goodies my family “needed“. Then I would buy bags of sweets and store them in a suitcase in the basement and get mad if anyone ate too many. At the time this seemed like rational behavior: now, I can see how truly insane it was. What made me stop was; One day I was berating my husband for eating too many, when he said, “If you don’t want me to eat them, why do you buy them”. For some divine reason, this opened my eyes and I was able to see my addict was controlling me in this manners.
Now if my family wants treats they go and buy them themselves and sometimes even then I throw them out if they start conversing with me. Keep in mind, it’s impossible to bake someone happy or cook someone love.
Your Green List Week Twelve
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to get in your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch at home or away will remain, twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner at home or away will be the same as last week exactly sixteen ounces.
4. 4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. .
♥A few more words on “goodies” Do all the people I’m baking “goodies” for really need the “goodies“. Just because I’ve always bake x for this or y for that doesn’t mean it need to continue that way. Your abstaining from your No Matter What Red List food needs to be the number one priority in your life. If baking or fixing those foods for others interferes with accomplishing that, then there is only one real answer! As I look back over my nineteen years, I can visit at least a dozen traditions that I have change or completely let go of.
When you find yourself looking back in longing and feeling you are being deprived, set down and reread the how you felt after the last binge paper or you letter to you addict/disease
.
Recovery means going to any length to stay away from your No Matter What Red List foods. You need to be willing “for today” to give up any and all things that interfere, including cooking, baking, friends, certain meals for my family.
.Activity
List five or more traditions that you “could” think of letting go of
Physical Activity
You notice I did not say exercise; don’t get me wrong, I’m all for exercising. But I think the easiest way to prime the exercise pump is to start with increased activity, hence that’s where we will start. (If you already have an exercise program going, feel free to skip ahead.)
Since becoming Thin and Serene has primarily been an inside job, that’s how we will approach increasing our activity.. Therefore, the question is how do we get ready to embrace increased activity? It’s as easy as changing your attitude about extra movement.
So the next time you’re in your car and remember you forgot something in the house, don’t groan; just think, as you’re hopping out of the car, I’m priming my exercise pump and run into the house and get what you need. There are many incidences in our daily life when we have to run and get something we need and we usually go and get it begrudgingly. As humans, why are we so against movement, let alone exercise? We are a society of couch potatoes, chair potatoes, bed potatoes; we seem to have a personal vendetta against movement! Thus, that’s where I would encourage you to start.
Some other examples of increased activity are:
Parking and walking
Parking in the back of the lot
Returning the shopping cart to the store. (I still struggle with that one.)
Taking the stairs
Going out and starting the car so it will be warm or cool when you leave. With this one you get, “a two for one“; additional activity and a warm or cool car.
Refilling the bird feeders.
Any type of housework. Another “two for one”.
Washing the car
Activity
Keep a journal for a week of how you’re inviting additional activity into you life. Coaching note; send me your daily activity Journal.
Laughter gives our bodies a good workout too. Laughter can be a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles. It massages abdominal organs, tones intestinal functioning, and strengthens the muscles that hold the abdominal organs in place. Not only does laughter give your midsection a workout, it can benefit digestion and absorption functioning as well. It is estimated that hearty laughter can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or the exercise bike. So don’t forget to continue the assault on humor you started in Week six.
Don’t forget the importance of stretching in becoming a Thin and Serene You.
Stretching is just as essential as exercise. For we baby boomers especially, some days stretching is more imperative than exercise. Some of the benefits of stretching are:
© Increased flexibility and better range of motion. The 'use it or lose it' concept.
© Improved circulation, which can shorten your recovery time if you should happen to hurt yourself.
© Better posture. Good posture can minimize discomfort and keep aches and pains at bay…another thing we baby boomers need to be mindful of)
© Relieves stress. Stretching relaxes tight, tense muscles that often accompany stress.
© Makes us better coordinated, thus keeping us less prone to falls.
Basic stretches improve your flexibility and focus on your body's major muscle groups: calf, thigh, hip, lower back, neck and shoulder.
-It’s important to warm up first. Hence I usually do my stretching during my exercise. I even consider it as part of my exercise; about every five minutes I do some stretching.
♥Warm up first. Stretching muscles when they're cold increases your risk of pulled muscles. Warm up by doing a favorite exercise at low intensity for five minutes.
♥Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds, up to 60 seconds for a really tight muscle or problem area. That can seem like a long time, so wear a watch or keep an eye on the clock to make sure you're holding your stretches long enough. For most of your muscle groups, if you hold the stretches for at least 30 seconds, you'll need to do each stretch only once.
♥Don't bounce. Just hold the stretch.
♥If you feel pain as you stretch, you've gone too far. Back off to the point where you don't feel any pain, then hold the stretch.
♥Don't hold your breath while you're stretching.
Stretching is something you can do easily anytime, anywhere — in your home, your office, or even when you're traveling. Aim to stretch at least three times a week. If you can't get a full workout in, you can still benefit from stretching at least that often.
Next come the first steps in starting an exercise program. Whatever you choose to do as your exercise, the most important thing is to start out slowly. Don’t overdo it. Many people are so gung ho in the beginning that they burn themselves out before they really get going. Keep in mind that any exercise is better than none
One of the tricks I used to make sure I exercised is that when I get up in the morning, if I plan on exercising but don't feel like it yet, I put on my exercise clothes to remind myself that I will be exercising soon. It seems to mentally get me ready to exercise. In fact, I’m sitting here typing this in my exercise clothes because it’s too early to do the run I'm planning on, but I want to remind myself that we are going for a run soon. It’s more difficult for my addict to talk me out of running if I’m ready to go when the time to run arrives.
Another way I trick myself into exercising when I don’t feel like it is to say,” Let’s at least go down and lie on the exercise floor just in case you feel like it, and in a few minutes, you’ll be there ready to go." By getting myself into my exercise room there’s an eighty percent change I will get at the minimum a short workout, and on the mornings I fall back to sleep on the exercise floor, I figure I must have needed sleep more than exercise
An easy routine I do that can be adapted to any cardio exercise (jogging, swimming, in-line skating, biking, aerobic dance etc.) is:
1. Warm up at an easy pace for five minutes. (1-5 minutes)
2. Stretch for three minutes (6-8 minutes)
3.. Do whatever cardio activity you’re doing as fast as you can for forty-five
seconds to a minute. (9 minutes)
4. For the next four minutes do your activity at a medium pace. (10-13 minutes)
4. Return to doing your activity as fast as you can for forty-five seconds
to a minute. (14 minutes)
5. Stretch for two minutes. (15-16 minutes)
5. Go back to the medium pace for four more minutes. (17-20 minutes)
6. Return to the fast as you can for forty-five seconds to a minute. (21 minutes)
7. Go back to the medium pace for two more minutes. (22-23 minutes)
8. Return to the fast as you can pace for forty-five seconds to a minute.
(24 minutes)
9. Cool down at an easy pace for at least three minutes. (25-28 minutes)
10. Stretch at least two minutes (29-30 minutes)
Initially, I don’t suggest that you invest too much money on fitness. Save your investment until you have some type of exercise regimen already in place and have persisted with it for six weeks or so.
It’s suggested that a person do three cardio workouts and two resistance/weight workouts a week. These sessions “could” be 20 to 30 minutes in length. I work out five days a week. Most of those days I do so for about an hour. Keep in mind that I do a great deal of stretching before, during and after my workouts; hence, the hour length.
The trick to getting an exercise program going is consistency. In the beginning, focus on consistency as opposed to the length of your sessions. Even if you exercise for only five minutes it counts as a session. It’s better to have four or five short sessions a week than two hour-long sessions a week. Even if you only have ten minutes, go for it. Remember your addict/disease will try to get you not to exercise by helping you conjure up excuses. The excuse my addict likes the best is that we don’t have enough time. But all I need is ten minutes.
Activity
Put an extra star on your calendar for the days you exercise, even if it's only for five minutes.
If it does not
support my
abstinence,
out the door it goes.
Any Kind of Movement is good!
And The more Movement the better.
11
Week Eleven
The Lists and
Your Beliefs
Religious and Spiritual
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
© Remember to pat yourself on the back and shout with excitement about how far you have come.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eleven
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© Foods we love are divided into two groups; foods that we love but that don’t love us and foods that we love; that love us too. The latter foods are the foods on our No Matter What Red List. The more day count I get, the more foods I find that I never gave the time of day to and now really enjoy. Some of them I even love.
I will list some of the foods that I have acquired a love for during my journey:
© fresh pineapple
© a frozen vegetable blend with pepper and other fabulous seasonings
© precut, peeled and washed veggies. There's magic in having them ready.
© soy butter instead of peanut butter. It’s tasty, but not so good that I want to eat
it by the spoonful like I used to with peanut butter.
© apples (I have become a connoisseur). I especially like Pacific Rose. Before
my journey, I did not know there were different tastes to the many
varieties.
© carrots (another area of expertise)
© butternut squash
© colored cauliflower (my Costco has just started carrying bagged cauliflower in
purple, green, yellow and it’s regular color. What a visual delight, I love colors.)
© plain, canned pumpkin with Splenda or Stevia with cinnamon. My little
granddaughter loves it too, that’s her idea of pumpkin pie.
© a type of high end cherry tomato that tastes like candy to me. I know it sounds
crazy, but that’s what happens when you have not had sugar for over 6935
days.
© I like cabbage too.
(I have deliberately put this list on my No Matter What Red List page so you can see why I don’t mind letting go of my No Matter What Red List foods. Have so many foods I have acquired a love for has made it easy.)
There are more but I will stop here so you can have a turn.
Activity
Make a list of foods that you like or love that do not love you. The foods that love you are the foods you put on your No Matter What Red List.
My Green List - Week Eleven
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch vegetables at home or away will remain the same; twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables at home or away will be the same as last week; exactly sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue putting at least four hours between your meals. .
© Earlier I shared with you how evenings used to be the hardest time for me. Sometimes I truly thought I would “die” if I did not eat. On those nights, I would leave the dishes in the sink; get out of the kitchen as fast as I could, grab some diet pop or water, my gum, a good book and my Cheshire cat and go to my room where many times I would not leave until morning. My husband knew that at times like this it was his job to be in charge of the kids. I learned early on in my recovery that if I were to become Thin and Serene, my recovery had to come first. Yes, at times even before my kids and husband. Don’t feel you are being weak if you have to run away from situations in which you feel vulnerable.
Beliefs
I don’t want to “step on anyone’s toes” in this section so feel free to take what you want and leave the rest or skip it all together if you prefer.
When I talk about my beliefs, I will refer to my God as my HP (Higher Power) so as not to single out any one belief over another.
The Prayer of Saint Francis, which I have included, has been a favorite of mine since I began my journey. (I have printed this prayer on a separate page in case you like it as much as I do and would like better quality copy.)
Higher Power, Make me a channel of thy peace
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Higher Power,
Grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted
to understand than to be understood;
to love than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
There are two lines in this poem that were instrumental in my journey. The first was, ”where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;" I thought my job was when someone was wrong (as determined by me, of course) that I was to tell them what was “right," (again determined by me). I was certainly surprised when I learned that my job was to bring “forgiveness." and that was all.
The second was “Grant that I may seek to understand than to be understood." I thought it was everyone’s job to understand me. Little did I realize that my job was to understand them. Learning this has made me a much better mother, daughter, wife; a better person in general. This especially helped me become a better mother. When my children were growing up, instead of trying to get them to understand me, I spent my energy “trying” to understand where they were coming from and why they made certain choices. I love this prayer because it helps me become more loving and caring. In essence, it was instrumental in helping me become a more serene person.
When I don’t think I can do something, what do I do? I pray to a power greater than myself for the willingness, then I “act as if” I have the motivation and start doing the footwork and see what develops. Quite often I’m pleasantly surprised with the results.
There are a variety of paths to my Higher Power. When one is blocked, I try another route. I try writing, and if that doesn't work, I try meditating. If that fails, I try reaching out to another food addict. Sometimes I simply need a nap. If one route to my Higher Power fails, then I try another; if one step fails, take another step.
It’s important for me to keep my food black and white so I can deal with the constant necessity of seeking a route to my Higher Power for answers when my human brain power fails. My journey has taught me that I never need to take even one step alone.
For me it does not seem to matter what form my Higher Power takes as long as it is bigger than me and not me. If you have difficulty with the concept of a Higher Power, you “could” let this program be a power greater than yourself until you develop one of your own.
I Love
“Good for Me”
Food.
(The more No Matter What day count I get the more I will love my “good for me” food.)
The Lists and
Your Beliefs
Religious and Spiritual
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
© Remember to pat yourself on the back and shout with excitement about how far you have come.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eleven
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© Foods we love are divided into two groups; foods that we love but that don’t love us and foods that we love; that love us too. The latter foods are the foods on our No Matter What Red List. The more day count I get, the more foods I find that I never gave the time of day to and now really enjoy. Some of them I even love.
I will list some of the foods that I have acquired a love for during my journey:
© fresh pineapple
© a frozen vegetable blend with pepper and other fabulous seasonings
© precut, peeled and washed veggies. There's magic in having them ready.
© soy butter instead of peanut butter. It’s tasty, but not so good that I want to eat
it by the spoonful like I used to with peanut butter.
© apples (I have become a connoisseur). I especially like Pacific Rose. Before
my journey, I did not know there were different tastes to the many
varieties.
© carrots (another area of expertise)
© butternut squash
© colored cauliflower (my Costco has just started carrying bagged cauliflower in
purple, green, yellow and it’s regular color. What a visual delight, I love colors.)
© plain, canned pumpkin with Splenda or Stevia with cinnamon. My little
granddaughter loves it too, that’s her idea of pumpkin pie.
© a type of high end cherry tomato that tastes like candy to me. I know it sounds
crazy, but that’s what happens when you have not had sugar for over 6935
days.
© I like cabbage too.
(I have deliberately put this list on my No Matter What Red List page so you can see why I don’t mind letting go of my No Matter What Red List foods. Have so many foods I have acquired a love for has made it easy.)
There are more but I will stop here so you can have a turn.
Activity
Make a list of foods that you like or love that do not love you. The foods that love you are the foods you put on your No Matter What Red List.
My Green List - Week Eleven
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch vegetables at home or away will remain the same; twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables at home or away will be the same as last week; exactly sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue putting at least four hours between your meals. .
© Earlier I shared with you how evenings used to be the hardest time for me. Sometimes I truly thought I would “die” if I did not eat. On those nights, I would leave the dishes in the sink; get out of the kitchen as fast as I could, grab some diet pop or water, my gum, a good book and my Cheshire cat and go to my room where many times I would not leave until morning. My husband knew that at times like this it was his job to be in charge of the kids. I learned early on in my recovery that if I were to become Thin and Serene, my recovery had to come first. Yes, at times even before my kids and husband. Don’t feel you are being weak if you have to run away from situations in which you feel vulnerable.
Beliefs
I don’t want to “step on anyone’s toes” in this section so feel free to take what you want and leave the rest or skip it all together if you prefer.
When I talk about my beliefs, I will refer to my God as my HP (Higher Power) so as not to single out any one belief over another.
The Prayer of Saint Francis, which I have included, has been a favorite of mine since I began my journey. (I have printed this prayer on a separate page in case you like it as much as I do and would like better quality copy.)
Higher Power, Make me a channel of thy peace
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Higher Power,
Grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted
to understand than to be understood;
to love than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
There are two lines in this poem that were instrumental in my journey. The first was, ”where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;" I thought my job was when someone was wrong (as determined by me, of course) that I was to tell them what was “right," (again determined by me). I was certainly surprised when I learned that my job was to bring “forgiveness." and that was all.
The second was “Grant that I may seek to understand than to be understood." I thought it was everyone’s job to understand me. Little did I realize that my job was to understand them. Learning this has made me a much better mother, daughter, wife; a better person in general. This especially helped me become a better mother. When my children were growing up, instead of trying to get them to understand me, I spent my energy “trying” to understand where they were coming from and why they made certain choices. I love this prayer because it helps me become more loving and caring. In essence, it was instrumental in helping me become a more serene person.
When I don’t think I can do something, what do I do? I pray to a power greater than myself for the willingness, then I “act as if” I have the motivation and start doing the footwork and see what develops. Quite often I’m pleasantly surprised with the results.
There are a variety of paths to my Higher Power. When one is blocked, I try another route. I try writing, and if that doesn't work, I try meditating. If that fails, I try reaching out to another food addict. Sometimes I simply need a nap. If one route to my Higher Power fails, then I try another; if one step fails, take another step.
It’s important for me to keep my food black and white so I can deal with the constant necessity of seeking a route to my Higher Power for answers when my human brain power fails. My journey has taught me that I never need to take even one step alone.
For me it does not seem to matter what form my Higher Power takes as long as it is bigger than me and not me. If you have difficulty with the concept of a Higher Power, you “could” let this program be a power greater than yourself until you develop one of your own.
I Love
“Good for Me”
Food.
(The more No Matter What day count I get the more I will love my “good for me” food.)
10
Week Ten
The Lists and
Acceptance
My Yellow List
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
© Keep in mind, if you are struggling, you always have the choice of repeating weeks. Repeating weeks is not failure! The only way you can fail is if you give up..
My No Matter What Red List - Week Ten
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© Stopping the fighting and admitting that on your own you are defeated by your food addict; is the first step in excelling in this program. You have to give up your old ideas before any new ones can move in. It was only after I gave up being in charge that I found peace and serenity. I was carried on the wings of abstinence from my No Matter What Red List foods and you can too.
I have never been very good at moderation in any part of my life, and with food I was a complete failure. Especially if the control was to be supervised by me. Hence, a year and a half ago, I turned my portion control over to my digital scales. For the last year and a half, I have weighed almost everything before it goes into my mouth. I’m not implying that everyone needs to go to such extremes, but I did. In order for me to be totally free of my addict, I had to turn control of my food portions completely over to my digital scales. Even my addict, who is excellent at arguing is rendered speechless when trying to quarrel with my digital scales. That is why I have suggested so strongly that you purchase a digital food scale. Since my addict can argue and win with any other types of food scales, I figure yours can too.
Your Green List - Week Ten
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch at home or away will remain twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. Your dinner at home or away will be the same as last week, exactly
sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
© Another reminder from your disease:
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of food addiction. I am perceptive, puzzling, and powerful. That's me! I've killed millions and enjoyed doing it. I love to catch you by surprise. I love pretending I'm your friend and lover.
(Keep in mind how your disease feels about you as you read the following insights):
© In my nineteen year journey, I have found few things that make my addict lose control as much as exactness and No Matter What. That’s why you hear me preaching about them again and again. It was just a year and a half ago that I realized this and was willing to embrace exactness with all my heart. Over the last year and a half I have weighed all my food without exception. Yes, that means in restaurants and others' homes. Hence, the last year and a half have been the clearest and most serene of my 52 years. If you want what I have, you have to be able to go to any lengths to get it.
Acceptance
(Higher Power) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I really had this one mixed up. It took the first few years of my journey to acquire the wisdom to know the difference between what I had to just accept and what I needed to have the courage to change. In this section, I’m going to share what I learned during this time about acceptance, change and wisdom.
Recovery has taught me that I have to love all of me, the good and the “not so good." It’s important for me to accept myself exactly where I am at any given moment. However, accepting all of my “not so good” qualities does not mean I embraced them; it simply meant that I love myself regardless.
Now I believe that the “not so good” parts of me are thanks to my addict. I used to feel much shame about all of the “not so good” parts I had and thought I was a “bad” person, but once I started separating my addict's thoughts and actions from mine, I found out that I’m a pretty good person.
An example of this is that my addict has not learned the “If it’s not nice and not necessary don’t say it” rule. Thus, she wants me to think and make lots of unpleasant, unnecessary remarks to people especially my husband. She does this because it makes me feel bad, and when I feel bad she can get me to eat foods that are not good for me.
Actually, at this time, I’m working with my mentor on being nicer to my husband. I have contracted with her that if I say something questionable to him I have to be willing to tell her what I said. It has made a tremendous difference in what comes out of my mouth. This is because stating things to another person makes me realize how my words really sound. I’m appalled at my verbal behavior toward my husband. I used to feel dreadful because my mind played tricks on me about certain people. I sometimes found myself gossiping. Let me give you an example. Just the other day, I was at a meeting and one of my peers in the audience kept asking the speaker question after question, and if she wasn’t asking questions, she had a comment to make about everything and it was really irritating me. As this was going on, my mind was thinking, “She sure likes to hear herself talk." When we went on break, I wanted in the worst way to comment to a friend about how our colleague would not “shut up“, but I bit my tongue because I have learned through recovery that when I say mean things, it’s only hurting me and usually comes back to haunt me.
Did you know that we are unaware of up to eighty percent of our personalities? Everyone else knows about it but us. When I first read this piece of information I said, “No way!” Then I started thinking about people I knew who had certain personality traits and seemed to be totally oblivious to them. There have been instances where people I knew had no idea what they were really like.
It’s a very scary thought to me that I am unaware of close to eighty percent of my personality. It’s even more frightening to think that everyone else knew these things except me. I can see it in others so it must be true about me too.
I’ve had friends who talk about another person and say something like, "She thinks she knows everything," while I’m thinking, "Don’t you see that you're like that too?"
OK. Now that I had this scary piece of information, what did I do about I? How was I to learn what others noticed that I did not? I used a concept called the “mirror effect," which is essentially that what I see in others is most likely a part of me, too. One of the first traits I started observing in others was what I call the "know it all” trait. Consequently, I knew I needed to take a closer look at myself to determine if I fit the bill. What I did was ask a close friend if that was part of my personality and she begrudgingly said, “yes“. Hence, I knew what I needed to spend the next few months working on. (Writing this guide has been such a pleasure for me because I have found a constructive avenue for my “know it all” trait, something I really do know a lot about.)
Activity
Go to a close, “loving” friend and ask them to share with you one “not so good” personality trait that you have. Be sure it’s a “loving” type friend because this is not an easy activity to do. If their answer really blows you out of the water, you “could” get a second opinion. Coaching note: Share with me what they revealed to you and how you felt about it.
How many times have I heard someone say, “That’s not fair," then someone says, “Who said life was fair?" My experience is, that since I started focusing on what is “fair," my life has magically become very “fair." It’s in direct proportion to how much I look for “fair” and how much I find it. In fact, I can remember the exact incident when the fairness quotient turned around for me.
About fifteen years ago, I found out the hearing aides I was being fitted for were only minimally covered by my insurance. So here I was getting something that I did not really want (who wants to have to wear hearing aides at 35?) and having to pay fifteen hundred dollars out of my own pocket for them. As far as I was concerned, that was definitely not fair! A week later, I got a letter from my insurance company stating that the hearing aide company had to sell me the hearing aides for the price the insurance was contracted to pay and I would not be liable for the extra fifteen hundred. All I could think was, "That’s what I call fair." I even remember thinking it was so fair that it would wipe out the next 5 unfair things that happened in my life.
From that day forward, everything changed. All of a sudden it was “as if” magically my life had improved drastically in regards to “fairness." What really had changed was my focus and my attitude .
Activity
For the next week keep a fairness journal. On the first day you must write down at least one fair thing that happened that day; the second day two; the third day three and so on. Also, journal about the effect your new ”life is fair” focus is having on you. Coaching note: E-mail your fairness journal to me daily.
Now, let’s talk about life’s choices. Due to my teaching background, I oftentimes think of my life as a multiple choice test. When I’m faced with a question or a situation, I think I have select a, b or c. I never realized there was a “d” choice, which is always “do nothing." I find that in recovery, eighty percent of the time, the answer is 'd' the "do nothing" answer. Sometimes the “do nothing” is forever and other times it’s just until I decide which of the others is the correct choice.
Before I thought I had to chose a, b or c; which were three different actions. Nowadays, quite frequently, when I chose “d”, the “do nothing” choice, the situation dissipates on its own. I never gave situations a chance to resolve themselves without my interference. How much easier my life is now that I have learned this little “aha."(an “aha” is a life altering change of thinking). Many times in my life, I’ve gotten myself involved in unpleasant family and other altercations because I did not wait to see if the problem would take care of itself without my intervention.
Now let’s talk for a few minutes about mean people. If someone is not nice to me, I accept it then detach with love. It’s another energy case in point. I refuse to expend negative energy or stay around negative energy. If they are a friend or family member, I tell them to let me know when they are ready to be nice. Otherwise I get away and stay away for good. An example is one of the rude clerks at the store where I grocery shop. I try to shop on days when I can avoid her. If I ever have to check out through her, I am very nice and then get away. I definitely don’t waste time trying to get her to warm up to me.
What if you could will yourself to be happy? or believe that you're as happy as you're willing to be. “Could” happiness be a choice you can make? For me, I have found on most days I’m as happy as I choose to be.
Focus
On
Fair
As Long as I Don’t
Give Up
I’m a Winner
The Lists and
Acceptance
My Yellow List
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
© Keep in mind, if you are struggling, you always have the choice of repeating weeks. Repeating weeks is not failure! The only way you can fail is if you give up..
My No Matter What Red List - Week Ten
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© Stopping the fighting and admitting that on your own you are defeated by your food addict; is the first step in excelling in this program. You have to give up your old ideas before any new ones can move in. It was only after I gave up being in charge that I found peace and serenity. I was carried on the wings of abstinence from my No Matter What Red List foods and you can too.
I have never been very good at moderation in any part of my life, and with food I was a complete failure. Especially if the control was to be supervised by me. Hence, a year and a half ago, I turned my portion control over to my digital scales. For the last year and a half, I have weighed almost everything before it goes into my mouth. I’m not implying that everyone needs to go to such extremes, but I did. In order for me to be totally free of my addict, I had to turn control of my food portions completely over to my digital scales. Even my addict, who is excellent at arguing is rendered speechless when trying to quarrel with my digital scales. That is why I have suggested so strongly that you purchase a digital food scale. Since my addict can argue and win with any other types of food scales, I figure yours can too.
Your Green List - Week Ten
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch at home or away will remain twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. Your dinner at home or away will be the same as last week, exactly
sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
© Another reminder from your disease:
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of food addiction. I am perceptive, puzzling, and powerful. That's me! I've killed millions and enjoyed doing it. I love to catch you by surprise. I love pretending I'm your friend and lover.
(Keep in mind how your disease feels about you as you read the following insights):
© In my nineteen year journey, I have found few things that make my addict lose control as much as exactness and No Matter What. That’s why you hear me preaching about them again and again. It was just a year and a half ago that I realized this and was willing to embrace exactness with all my heart. Over the last year and a half I have weighed all my food without exception. Yes, that means in restaurants and others' homes. Hence, the last year and a half have been the clearest and most serene of my 52 years. If you want what I have, you have to be able to go to any lengths to get it.
Acceptance
(Higher Power) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I really had this one mixed up. It took the first few years of my journey to acquire the wisdom to know the difference between what I had to just accept and what I needed to have the courage to change. In this section, I’m going to share what I learned during this time about acceptance, change and wisdom.
Recovery has taught me that I have to love all of me, the good and the “not so good." It’s important for me to accept myself exactly where I am at any given moment. However, accepting all of my “not so good” qualities does not mean I embraced them; it simply meant that I love myself regardless.
Now I believe that the “not so good” parts of me are thanks to my addict. I used to feel much shame about all of the “not so good” parts I had and thought I was a “bad” person, but once I started separating my addict's thoughts and actions from mine, I found out that I’m a pretty good person.
An example of this is that my addict has not learned the “If it’s not nice and not necessary don’t say it” rule. Thus, she wants me to think and make lots of unpleasant, unnecessary remarks to people especially my husband. She does this because it makes me feel bad, and when I feel bad she can get me to eat foods that are not good for me.
Actually, at this time, I’m working with my mentor on being nicer to my husband. I have contracted with her that if I say something questionable to him I have to be willing to tell her what I said. It has made a tremendous difference in what comes out of my mouth. This is because stating things to another person makes me realize how my words really sound. I’m appalled at my verbal behavior toward my husband. I used to feel dreadful because my mind played tricks on me about certain people. I sometimes found myself gossiping. Let me give you an example. Just the other day, I was at a meeting and one of my peers in the audience kept asking the speaker question after question, and if she wasn’t asking questions, she had a comment to make about everything and it was really irritating me. As this was going on, my mind was thinking, “She sure likes to hear herself talk." When we went on break, I wanted in the worst way to comment to a friend about how our colleague would not “shut up“, but I bit my tongue because I have learned through recovery that when I say mean things, it’s only hurting me and usually comes back to haunt me.
Did you know that we are unaware of up to eighty percent of our personalities? Everyone else knows about it but us. When I first read this piece of information I said, “No way!” Then I started thinking about people I knew who had certain personality traits and seemed to be totally oblivious to them. There have been instances where people I knew had no idea what they were really like.
It’s a very scary thought to me that I am unaware of close to eighty percent of my personality. It’s even more frightening to think that everyone else knew these things except me. I can see it in others so it must be true about me too.
I’ve had friends who talk about another person and say something like, "She thinks she knows everything," while I’m thinking, "Don’t you see that you're like that too?"
OK. Now that I had this scary piece of information, what did I do about I? How was I to learn what others noticed that I did not? I used a concept called the “mirror effect," which is essentially that what I see in others is most likely a part of me, too. One of the first traits I started observing in others was what I call the "know it all” trait. Consequently, I knew I needed to take a closer look at myself to determine if I fit the bill. What I did was ask a close friend if that was part of my personality and she begrudgingly said, “yes“. Hence, I knew what I needed to spend the next few months working on. (Writing this guide has been such a pleasure for me because I have found a constructive avenue for my “know it all” trait, something I really do know a lot about.)
Activity
Go to a close, “loving” friend and ask them to share with you one “not so good” personality trait that you have. Be sure it’s a “loving” type friend because this is not an easy activity to do. If their answer really blows you out of the water, you “could” get a second opinion. Coaching note: Share with me what they revealed to you and how you felt about it.
How many times have I heard someone say, “That’s not fair," then someone says, “Who said life was fair?" My experience is, that since I started focusing on what is “fair," my life has magically become very “fair." It’s in direct proportion to how much I look for “fair” and how much I find it. In fact, I can remember the exact incident when the fairness quotient turned around for me.
About fifteen years ago, I found out the hearing aides I was being fitted for were only minimally covered by my insurance. So here I was getting something that I did not really want (who wants to have to wear hearing aides at 35?) and having to pay fifteen hundred dollars out of my own pocket for them. As far as I was concerned, that was definitely not fair! A week later, I got a letter from my insurance company stating that the hearing aide company had to sell me the hearing aides for the price the insurance was contracted to pay and I would not be liable for the extra fifteen hundred. All I could think was, "That’s what I call fair." I even remember thinking it was so fair that it would wipe out the next 5 unfair things that happened in my life.
From that day forward, everything changed. All of a sudden it was “as if” magically my life had improved drastically in regards to “fairness." What really had changed was my focus and my attitude .
Activity
For the next week keep a fairness journal. On the first day you must write down at least one fair thing that happened that day; the second day two; the third day three and so on. Also, journal about the effect your new ”life is fair” focus is having on you. Coaching note: E-mail your fairness journal to me daily.
Now, let’s talk about life’s choices. Due to my teaching background, I oftentimes think of my life as a multiple choice test. When I’m faced with a question or a situation, I think I have select a, b or c. I never realized there was a “d” choice, which is always “do nothing." I find that in recovery, eighty percent of the time, the answer is 'd' the "do nothing" answer. Sometimes the “do nothing” is forever and other times it’s just until I decide which of the others is the correct choice.
Before I thought I had to chose a, b or c; which were three different actions. Nowadays, quite frequently, when I chose “d”, the “do nothing” choice, the situation dissipates on its own. I never gave situations a chance to resolve themselves without my interference. How much easier my life is now that I have learned this little “aha."(an “aha” is a life altering change of thinking). Many times in my life, I’ve gotten myself involved in unpleasant family and other altercations because I did not wait to see if the problem would take care of itself without my intervention.
Now let’s talk for a few minutes about mean people. If someone is not nice to me, I accept it then detach with love. It’s another energy case in point. I refuse to expend negative energy or stay around negative energy. If they are a friend or family member, I tell them to let me know when they are ready to be nice. Otherwise I get away and stay away for good. An example is one of the rude clerks at the store where I grocery shop. I try to shop on days when I can avoid her. If I ever have to check out through her, I am very nice and then get away. I definitely don’t waste time trying to get her to warm up to me.
What if you could will yourself to be happy? or believe that you're as happy as you're willing to be. “Could” happiness be a choice you can make? For me, I have found on most days I’m as happy as I choose to be.
Focus
On
Fair
As Long as I Don’t
Give Up
I’m a Winner
9
-
Week Nine
The Lists and
Positive
Self-Talk
My Yellow List
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List.
1. ________________________________
2. ________________________________
3. ________________________________
4 _________________________________
5,_________________________________
6. ________________________________
7. ________________________________
8. ________________________________
9. ________________________________
© Now that your abstinent muscle is getting stronger, you “could” be finding that you're not resorting to using your Yellow List as much. If this is true, pat yourself on the back and shout 'Hooray!' (If this is not your truth, you “could” back up and repeat Weeks Six, Seven and Eight).
My No Matter What Red List- Week Nine
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© We would not walk in front of a speeding car, but we run right up to food that can lay us flat, sometimes forever. Please remember, your life may depend on your staying out of your No Matter What Red List Foods. I have stayed away from my No Matter What Red List one day at a time for a long time and my No Matter What Red List is very long because it has been accumulating for over 6,935 days).
© Keep in mind that your addict never comes to your house uninvited. Therefore, I’m encouraging you to play detective this week to see if any of your binge foods are still lurking around in your cupboards, fridge or freezer just waiting to invite your disease/addict into your house. If you find any, practice some eckless wasting instead of reckless eating and throw them away.
Your Green List - Week Nine
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to include your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch vegetables at home or away will remain twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables at home or away will be the same as last week, exactly sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals. .
6. Enjoying that in your “heart” and body you are becoming Thin and
Serene.
© I find that I usually get out of something exactly what I put into it. For the last year and a half, I would get an A+ at putting my recovery first. Up until that time I bounced between a B+ and a C, and some of those days were pretty painful. I don’t think I went any lower than a C because I was able to stay out of the sugar No Matter What at all costs. That’s why I put such an emphasis on putting your recovery and this program first. The reason I would give myself an A+ for the last year and a half is because I have finally quit fighting my addict and have learned how to overpower her with exactness, as in being willing to weigh my food all the time No Matter What.
© Keep in mind that I’m not asking anything of you that I’m not doing myself and have been doing for many years. Remember, I did say you need to be willing to follow most (if not all) of my suggestions. Only if you follow “al”l of my suggestions will you attain “all” of what I have, which is a life beyond my wildest dreams.
What Takes the Place of the Food?
At times people have asked me what’s significant enough to take the place of the food, and I say “the moment”. By “the moment,” I mean, everything feeling like it’s enough and/or doing something and thinking of nothing else. Up until I entered my recovery journey at thirty three, I truly believe that I can count on one hand the seconds I spent in “the moment.” For most of my pre-recovery life, I was either thinking about the past or focusing on what the future might hold. Now I can say that I’m “in the moment” close to eighty percent of the time. I know this because that is where joy resides. By joy, I mean a” Low Delight Level.” When you start feeling delighted at things that you would have not noticed before, you have acquired a “low delight level” and found “the moment“.
Let’s think about earlier when I spoke about food being not only number one, but also numbers one through ten in my life. I’m going to now share with you my secret about how to get yourself doing numbers eleven, twelve and thirteen, etc. when you would rather be eating.
In the beginning I had to be realistic knowing that for the most part these things were not on a daily basis more important than eating. What I suggest is that you think about as many activities as you can, that you like or at least don’t mind doing, that aren’t food related. Make sure that some of them are things you could do right now. I will share with you as many as I can think of to give you ideas. Remember, they don’t have to be things you love, but just don’t mind doing.
Mopping my kitchen (This I don’t mind doing and I love the results after it’s done). The other day I even bought floor wax and polished it, too. Even thinking about how gorgeous it looks now brings a smile to my face)
Putting really good smelling lotion on my hands
Listening to a few of my favorite songs
Dancing to one of my favorite songs. (I love this one)
Brushing and flossing my teeth
Coloring, especially with brand new crayons
Surfing on the computer
Vacuuming a quick run over or a long one
Calling someone on the phone and asking how he or she is doing
Working in the yard
Washing my car
Taking the car to get gas
Going for a walk
Taking a nap
Watching TV
Doing a load of laundry
Folding and putting away a load of laundry (Especially when they’re warm clothes because now that I’m not over 200 pounds I get cold easily)
Doing one of my stretching DVDs
Going for a bike ride
Running an errand while listening to a book on tape in the car
Reading trashy books
Reading not so trashy books
Polishing my nails
Cleaning out my Beta fishie’s tank (I think it makes him happy too; sometimes it’s nice to choose things that will make others happy too.)
Activity 9
I bet you can guess what it’s going to be. Yes, it’s your turn to make a What Takes the Place of Food List. You are more than welcome to borrow any of mine that sound good. I thought of twenty-four, so you need to think of at least 15. Remember, if you get stuck borrow some of mine.
What Takes the Place of Food List?
1. ______________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________
3. ______________________________________________________
4. ______________________________________________________
5. ______________________________________________________
6. ______________________________________________________
7. ______________________________________________________
8. ______________________________________________________
9. ______________________________________________________
10. ______________________________________________________
11. ______________________________________________________
12. ______________________________________________________
13. ______________________________________________________
14. ______________________________________________________
15. ______________________________________________________
Activity 10
Now for the secret I promised you. I have found that in order for the above list to be more import than food, I have to be doing them. So the next time your addict tries to get you to eat when you would rather not, pick one of the above activities and do it for five or ten minutes and see if what I’m telling you works for you like it does for me. Coaching note: When you understand what I’m talking about with the secret, please e-mail me and share your experience
Now if you do chose to eat,
you for go
any chance of getting any or all of the above Instead this is what you will get.................First of all, you won't want to get out of bed, to go to work, school,whatever.When you do finally get out of that bed, you will feel groggy, as if youhad been drinking all night.You won't "feel" like getting in the shower, getting dressed taking careof your usual routine because you won't have the energy or motivation..(No Matter What Red List foods do that to us!)Then you will begin your plan for the day of how, when and how muchNo Matter What Red List foods can you get to "feel" satisfied.
(Let me remind you that there is not enough)You will arrive at your destination for the day, not able to focus,feeling "fat", feeling disgusted, feeling whatever your addict’disease voicestells you.You won't be able to concentrate on the day at hand because you will bethinking how soon to the next fix..............Oh and by the way, nothing will taste as good as your memory may tellyou, nothing tastes as good as our disease likes to remind us Ever so slowly or maybe right away you will realize oh no, I've lost myNo Matter What Red List day count and I'm in food again.....................I don't think I need to write anymore you get the gist of what I'msaying, Please, please take me seriously, You do not want to eat off your No Matter What Red List regardless of what is going on.
You may never make it back..............
Hold on to your No Matter What Red List day count with everything you have,it's truly a precious gift,
that you do not want to give back.........From one who knows all to well what will happen if youtake one JUST ONE bite of food off your No Matter What Red List..........
You do not want to go there, it's not worth it.................
Because remember your disease is doing "push up's",
Just waiting to bring you continued suffering and ultimately death
“Could” It Be
Time to Take
A
NAP!
There’s “Always” Another Meal Coming
(In fact, in a most months I have 90 meals coming and in a year
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a tool that helped me rewrite negative tapes about myself and my life. These negative thoughts blocked me from reaching my goal of having a Thin and Serene Life. I used positive self-talk to counter specific negative thoughts, and to bring me back to myself - to remind me that I am a remarkable human being. Here are some of my favorite positive affirmations:
I love myself.
I can create joy in my life.
.
I am enough.
It is OK to be confused.
It is OK to be upset.
I can say No to people without losing their love.
It is OK to make mistakes.
It is OK to ask for help.
I am surrounded by an abundance of love.
I choose to forgive.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe
I am complete.
I am happy.
I give myself permission to do what I know is best for me.
The more I like myself, the more others like themselves.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
There is room for love in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I have value just the way I am.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I am responsible for my own Spiritual Growth.
I know what is best for me and I act on it.
I trust my inner being to lead me on the right path.
My defense mechanisms are no longer necessary because I am a wonderful person.
I control my attitude.
I am a Divine being.
I have a right to say NO to people without losing their love.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me,
including myself.
I deserve credit for my successes and accomplishments .
I give myself permission to not care about what others think.
I am becoming powerful.
I am a winner whether I like it or not.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with them.
I pat myself on the back regularly.
I am worthy of a good hip, hip hooray.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am fully alive.
I trust myself completely.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I am at peace with my Universe
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
I always have enough money for all that I need.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I accept myself completely.
I love and accept myself.
I acknowledge all the pain I have endured and release it.
I am the only one who knows my “truth” and how to live it.
I acknowledge the unique and special person that I am.
I have given myself permission to be at one with the Universe.
I am constantly amazed at the magnificence that is me.
It is OK for others to say No to me - it does not mean they do not love me.
I am unique, loving, loved, and free.
I surrender to my higher Self.
The power within me is greater than whatever is in front of me.
What others think of me is none of my business.
My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and everlasting.
I nurture my inner child by loving her and allowing her to heal.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love.
The more honest I am with those around me, the more love is returned to me.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I do not fear being unhealthy because I know that I control my own body.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I spent two full years of my recovery bringing positive energy into my life by embracing positive affirmations. I worked with them in several different ways. For awhile I wrote affirmations daily, then I wrote them only when I was feeling down or in stressful situations. One thing I did habitually was to write the affirmations that really called to me at any specific time.
Activity
As a daily activity write at least ten affirmations that really talk to you. Coaching note: Send me your daily list of affirmations.
To succeed in my program all you have to do is absolutely never ever give up.
Most of us have experienced too much of quitting. Usually what we do is expect too much and give up when we do not meet our own expectations. This can become a vicious cycle.
As I have said before, the answer is simple; it may not be easy but it is simple. If you truly want something, it will happen. It will take an extreme amount of patience, very hard work, much struggling and extensive time, but you can do it. Keep in mind that all you have to do to succeed in my program is to get up more often than you fall down.
I realize that a journey of this nature is not always straight forward. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and one or two steps back. I’ve put my program together with the hope that you won’t have too many setbacks, but even if you do, all you have to do is to keep trudging down the road and you will eventually get to the end as long as you don’t give up.
Keep in mind that negative energy produces more negative energy. Fortunately, the opposite is also true, positive energy builds positive energy and my guide is filled with positive energy. Most of my activities are directed at helping you keep your glass half full instead of half empty. A positive attitude will propel you forward eventually making all things possible
Here's a little message about thinking you have to do my program perfectly. I have never considered myself a perfectionist, but at one point in my journey I realized I was getting very frustrated because I was not progressing as fast as I thought I ”should” be. (There I go “shoulding” on myself again). Then I realized I did have a perfectionist side to me. What I finally recognized was that “for me” mastery is not a ten, it’s an eight.
I was feeling like I was not getting anywhere because I was not experiencing a number 10 mastery in the situations I was working on. Let me give you an example so you can understand more fully what I’m talking about. I have always struggled with being insecure, and after working on it for about a year I realized I still felt insecure quite often. Of course this made me feel like I was making little or no progress. Then I examined the situation a little more closely and saw that yes, I still felt insecure at times, but what had changed was how I acted when I felt that way. That had changed tremendously. Thus my “aha” that mastery is an eight not a ten. This new understanding was the turning of another corner. What all this mean is that if you feel you are at a level six or seven in relationship to change, that’s almost mastery. So you have most likely come a lot further then you originally thought before reading this paragraph.
Activity
On the lines below write down as many areas as you can think of where you are making progress toward becoming a Thin and Serene you.
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
(Now that I have said it’s not important to be perfect in working my program, I need to say that there is one area where you do need to be perfect and that is: “KEEP YOUR NO MATTER WHAT Red LIST FOODS IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
Never
Never
Never
Never
Give Up
Week Nine
The Lists and
Positive
Self-Talk
My Yellow List
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List.
1. ________________________________
2. ________________________________
3. ________________________________
4 _________________________________
5,_________________________________
6. ________________________________
7. ________________________________
8. ________________________________
9. ________________________________
© Now that your abstinent muscle is getting stronger, you “could” be finding that you're not resorting to using your Yellow List as much. If this is true, pat yourself on the back and shout 'Hooray!' (If this is not your truth, you “could” back up and repeat Weeks Six, Seven and Eight).
My No Matter What Red List- Week Nine
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© We would not walk in front of a speeding car, but we run right up to food that can lay us flat, sometimes forever. Please remember, your life may depend on your staying out of your No Matter What Red List Foods. I have stayed away from my No Matter What Red List one day at a time for a long time and my No Matter What Red List is very long because it has been accumulating for over 6,935 days).
© Keep in mind that your addict never comes to your house uninvited. Therefore, I’m encouraging you to play detective this week to see if any of your binge foods are still lurking around in your cupboards, fridge or freezer just waiting to invite your disease/addict into your house. If you find any, practice some eckless wasting instead of reckless eating and throw them away.
Your Green List - Week Nine
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to include your eight glasses of water or equivalent each day.
2. Your lunch vegetables at home or away will remain twelve exact ounces again for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables at home or away will be the same as last week, exactly sixteen ounces.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals. .
6. Enjoying that in your “heart” and body you are becoming Thin and
Serene.
© I find that I usually get out of something exactly what I put into it. For the last year and a half, I would get an A+ at putting my recovery first. Up until that time I bounced between a B+ and a C, and some of those days were pretty painful. I don’t think I went any lower than a C because I was able to stay out of the sugar No Matter What at all costs. That’s why I put such an emphasis on putting your recovery and this program first. The reason I would give myself an A+ for the last year and a half is because I have finally quit fighting my addict and have learned how to overpower her with exactness, as in being willing to weigh my food all the time No Matter What.
© Keep in mind that I’m not asking anything of you that I’m not doing myself and have been doing for many years. Remember, I did say you need to be willing to follow most (if not all) of my suggestions. Only if you follow “al”l of my suggestions will you attain “all” of what I have, which is a life beyond my wildest dreams.
What Takes the Place of the Food?
At times people have asked me what’s significant enough to take the place of the food, and I say “the moment”. By “the moment,” I mean, everything feeling like it’s enough and/or doing something and thinking of nothing else. Up until I entered my recovery journey at thirty three, I truly believe that I can count on one hand the seconds I spent in “the moment.” For most of my pre-recovery life, I was either thinking about the past or focusing on what the future might hold. Now I can say that I’m “in the moment” close to eighty percent of the time. I know this because that is where joy resides. By joy, I mean a” Low Delight Level.” When you start feeling delighted at things that you would have not noticed before, you have acquired a “low delight level” and found “the moment“.
Let’s think about earlier when I spoke about food being not only number one, but also numbers one through ten in my life. I’m going to now share with you my secret about how to get yourself doing numbers eleven, twelve and thirteen, etc. when you would rather be eating.
In the beginning I had to be realistic knowing that for the most part these things were not on a daily basis more important than eating. What I suggest is that you think about as many activities as you can, that you like or at least don’t mind doing, that aren’t food related. Make sure that some of them are things you could do right now. I will share with you as many as I can think of to give you ideas. Remember, they don’t have to be things you love, but just don’t mind doing.
Mopping my kitchen (This I don’t mind doing and I love the results after it’s done). The other day I even bought floor wax and polished it, too. Even thinking about how gorgeous it looks now brings a smile to my face)
Putting really good smelling lotion on my hands
Listening to a few of my favorite songs
Dancing to one of my favorite songs. (I love this one)
Brushing and flossing my teeth
Coloring, especially with brand new crayons
Surfing on the computer
Vacuuming a quick run over or a long one
Calling someone on the phone and asking how he or she is doing
Working in the yard
Washing my car
Taking the car to get gas
Going for a walk
Taking a nap
Watching TV
Doing a load of laundry
Folding and putting away a load of laundry (Especially when they’re warm clothes because now that I’m not over 200 pounds I get cold easily)
Doing one of my stretching DVDs
Going for a bike ride
Running an errand while listening to a book on tape in the car
Reading trashy books
Reading not so trashy books
Polishing my nails
Cleaning out my Beta fishie’s tank (I think it makes him happy too; sometimes it’s nice to choose things that will make others happy too.)
Activity 9
I bet you can guess what it’s going to be. Yes, it’s your turn to make a What Takes the Place of Food List. You are more than welcome to borrow any of mine that sound good. I thought of twenty-four, so you need to think of at least 15. Remember, if you get stuck borrow some of mine.
What Takes the Place of Food List?
1. ______________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________
3. ______________________________________________________
4. ______________________________________________________
5. ______________________________________________________
6. ______________________________________________________
7. ______________________________________________________
8. ______________________________________________________
9. ______________________________________________________
10. ______________________________________________________
11. ______________________________________________________
12. ______________________________________________________
13. ______________________________________________________
14. ______________________________________________________
15. ______________________________________________________
Activity 10
Now for the secret I promised you. I have found that in order for the above list to be more import than food, I have to be doing them. So the next time your addict tries to get you to eat when you would rather not, pick one of the above activities and do it for five or ten minutes and see if what I’m telling you works for you like it does for me. Coaching note: When you understand what I’m talking about with the secret, please e-mail me and share your experience
Now if you do chose to eat,
you for go
any chance of getting any or all of the above Instead this is what you will get.................First of all, you won't want to get out of bed, to go to work, school,whatever.When you do finally get out of that bed, you will feel groggy, as if youhad been drinking all night.You won't "feel" like getting in the shower, getting dressed taking careof your usual routine because you won't have the energy or motivation..(No Matter What Red List foods do that to us!)Then you will begin your plan for the day of how, when and how muchNo Matter What Red List foods can you get to "feel" satisfied.
(Let me remind you that there is not enough)You will arrive at your destination for the day, not able to focus,feeling "fat", feeling disgusted, feeling whatever your addict’disease voicestells you.You won't be able to concentrate on the day at hand because you will bethinking how soon to the next fix..............Oh and by the way, nothing will taste as good as your memory may tellyou, nothing tastes as good as our disease likes to remind us Ever so slowly or maybe right away you will realize oh no, I've lost myNo Matter What Red List day count and I'm in food again.....................I don't think I need to write anymore you get the gist of what I'msaying, Please, please take me seriously, You do not want to eat off your No Matter What Red List regardless of what is going on.
You may never make it back..............
Hold on to your No Matter What Red List day count with everything you have,it's truly a precious gift,
that you do not want to give back.........From one who knows all to well what will happen if youtake one JUST ONE bite of food off your No Matter What Red List..........
You do not want to go there, it's not worth it.................
Because remember your disease is doing "push up's",
Just waiting to bring you continued suffering and ultimately death
“Could” It Be
Time to Take
A
NAP!
There’s “Always” Another Meal Coming
(In fact, in a most months I have 90 meals coming and in a year
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is a tool that helped me rewrite negative tapes about myself and my life. These negative thoughts blocked me from reaching my goal of having a Thin and Serene Life. I used positive self-talk to counter specific negative thoughts, and to bring me back to myself - to remind me that I am a remarkable human being. Here are some of my favorite positive affirmations:
I love myself.
I can create joy in my life.
.
I am enough.
It is OK to be confused.
It is OK to be upset.
I can say No to people without losing their love.
It is OK to make mistakes.
It is OK to ask for help.
I am surrounded by an abundance of love.
I choose to forgive.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe
I am complete.
I am happy.
I give myself permission to do what I know is best for me.
The more I like myself, the more others like themselves.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
There is room for love in my life.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I have value just the way I am.
I am free to be myself.
I am a forgiving and loving person.
I am responsible for my own Spiritual Growth.
I know what is best for me and I act on it.
I trust my inner being to lead me on the right path.
My defense mechanisms are no longer necessary because I am a wonderful person.
I control my attitude.
I am a Divine being.
I have a right to say NO to people without losing their love.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me,
including myself.
I deserve credit for my successes and accomplishments .
I give myself permission to not care about what others think.
I am becoming powerful.
I am a winner whether I like it or not.
I acknowledge all of my feelings because I am in touch with them.
I pat myself on the back regularly.
I am worthy of a good hip, hip hooray.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am fully alive.
I trust myself completely.
My inner vision is always clear and focused.
I have the power to control my health.
I am in control of my health and wellness.
I am at peace with my Universe
I am constantly adding to my income.
I always spend money wisely.
I always have enough money for all that I need.
I am rewarded for all the work I do.
I accept myself completely.
I love and accept myself.
I acknowledge all the pain I have endured and release it.
I am the only one who knows my “truth” and how to live it.
I acknowledge the unique and special person that I am.
I have given myself permission to be at one with the Universe.
I am constantly amazed at the magnificence that is me.
It is OK for others to say No to me - it does not mean they do not love me.
I am unique, loving, loved, and free.
I surrender to my higher Self.
The power within me is greater than whatever is in front of me.
What others think of me is none of my business.
My strength comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and everlasting.
I nurture my inner child by loving her and allowing her to heal.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with myself.
I am always in harmony with the Universe.
I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
I am at peace with all those around me.
I have provided a harmonious place for myself and those I love.
The more honest I am with those around me, the more love is returned to me.
I express anger in appropriate ways so that peace and harmony are balanced at all times.
I am at one with the inner child in me.
I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
I do not fear being unhealthy because I know that I control my own body.
I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
My mind is at peace.
I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
I am a success in all that I do.
Everything I touch returns riches to me.
I am always productive.
My work is always recognized positively.
I respect my abilities and always work to my full potential.
I spent two full years of my recovery bringing positive energy into my life by embracing positive affirmations. I worked with them in several different ways. For awhile I wrote affirmations daily, then I wrote them only when I was feeling down or in stressful situations. One thing I did habitually was to write the affirmations that really called to me at any specific time.
Activity
As a daily activity write at least ten affirmations that really talk to you. Coaching note: Send me your daily list of affirmations.
To succeed in my program all you have to do is absolutely never ever give up.
Most of us have experienced too much of quitting. Usually what we do is expect too much and give up when we do not meet our own expectations. This can become a vicious cycle.
As I have said before, the answer is simple; it may not be easy but it is simple. If you truly want something, it will happen. It will take an extreme amount of patience, very hard work, much struggling and extensive time, but you can do it. Keep in mind that all you have to do to succeed in my program is to get up more often than you fall down.
I realize that a journey of this nature is not always straight forward. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and one or two steps back. I’ve put my program together with the hope that you won’t have too many setbacks, but even if you do, all you have to do is to keep trudging down the road and you will eventually get to the end as long as you don’t give up.
Keep in mind that negative energy produces more negative energy. Fortunately, the opposite is also true, positive energy builds positive energy and my guide is filled with positive energy. Most of my activities are directed at helping you keep your glass half full instead of half empty. A positive attitude will propel you forward eventually making all things possible
Here's a little message about thinking you have to do my program perfectly. I have never considered myself a perfectionist, but at one point in my journey I realized I was getting very frustrated because I was not progressing as fast as I thought I ”should” be. (There I go “shoulding” on myself again). Then I realized I did have a perfectionist side to me. What I finally recognized was that “for me” mastery is not a ten, it’s an eight.
I was feeling like I was not getting anywhere because I was not experiencing a number 10 mastery in the situations I was working on. Let me give you an example so you can understand more fully what I’m talking about. I have always struggled with being insecure, and after working on it for about a year I realized I still felt insecure quite often. Of course this made me feel like I was making little or no progress. Then I examined the situation a little more closely and saw that yes, I still felt insecure at times, but what had changed was how I acted when I felt that way. That had changed tremendously. Thus my “aha” that mastery is an eight not a ten. This new understanding was the turning of another corner. What all this mean is that if you feel you are at a level six or seven in relationship to change, that’s almost mastery. So you have most likely come a lot further then you originally thought before reading this paragraph.
Activity
On the lines below write down as many areas as you can think of where you are making progress toward becoming a Thin and Serene you.
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
(Now that I have said it’s not important to be perfect in working my program, I need to say that there is one area where you do need to be perfect and that is: “KEEP YOUR NO MATTER WHAT Red LIST FOODS IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
Never
Never
Never
Never
Give Up
8
Week Eight
The Lists and
Being a Victim
My Yellow list
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List. You do not have to fill in all the spaces.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
9._______________________________
© Again your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eight
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© When a life circumstance crops up, don’t forget to write it down and slip it into your life pockets as a reminder that we don’t eat over it because LIFE'S IN ONE POCKET AND FOOD'S IN THE OTHER AND WE DON’T MIX.
© Today is the day. If you aren’t willing to do it today; you probably won’t be willing to do it tomorrow. So ask for the willingness to continue doing it “just for today."
© I know I have another binge in me, but I’m not sure if I have another recovery. Hence, I have given my all “one day at a time” because I don’t want to test the "Do I have another recovery?” theory. Everything… and I mean everything, I’m asking you to do I have done myself and most likely still do.
Considering you kept my program, I’m gong to assume you are willing or at the least want to be ‘willing” to embrace what I’m asking you to do. Whichever component you are struggling with is the very one you need to embrace the most No Matter What "just for today!"
© Weighing your vegetables is the second most important thing next to your No Matter What Red List in your fight against evicting your addict and taking control and accomplishing a Thin and Serene Way of Life. Drastic situations take “consistent” radical measures and I don’t think you would have purchased my program if your situation were not a matter of life and/or death. Eating yourself to death is a slow painful way to go.
Your Green List - Week Eight
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch vegetables remain twelve exact ounces for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables remain sixteen exact ounces for this week.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
6. Knowing in your “heart” that you are becoming Thin and Serene.
© You may find yourself resisting this No Matter What part. It’s impossible for me to put into words the importance of accepting this part; it is the core foundation as to how I have remained Thin and Serene for over nineteen years. If you want what I have, you are going to have to embrace it. (In order for me to keep my addict/disease from making my food decisions for me and to enjoy complete “freedom” around my food I have chosen to weight everything I eat. I have found that sometimes I have to do “A” to get “Z”.)
Being a Victim No More
In this section, I’m going to share with you many happenings in my life that made certain that I stayed in the victim role (resentments, people-pleasing, my past, my needs and fault-finding, etc.)
Before recovery I was like the ball in the pinball machine that I spoke of earlier,
but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball does not have a life and neither did I. I was controlled by and a victim of whatever pinball wizard was interfering with my life at the time. I never acted on anything, all I did was react to what I perceived others (the pinball wizards) were doing to me. During that time I thought I had a life, but as I look back now, I see I was never 'acting on' just 'reacting to.' This was not any way to live. Again, I’m one of the lucky ones and a victim no more.
There’s nothing I can do to change my past, but with the help of what I have learned in the last nineteen years, I am able to change the ending. I shudder to think of what the ending could have been like if I had not started my trial and error journey nineteen years ago. With the help of my program, you, too, have a chance to change your ending. All it takes is a ton of “willingness” and miles of footwork. Let’s get on with the footwork!
What others think of me is not my business. What others think of me is not my business… What others think of me is not my business…
That saying was paramount in removing me from the victim role. (Now I did have to say it many times a day for over twenty-one days before I began to live it). Remember, twenty-one days makes a habit!
What I’m about to share with you in regard to people-pleasing and worrying about what others think of me has changed my life. Perhaps it will change yours, too.
Of all the people I know, thirty-three percent are going to like me and probably consider me a friend; another thirty-three percent are going to think I’m all right; and the last thirty-three percent are not going to like me, no matter what. My job is to make sure I’m not trying to get that last thirty three percent to like me at the expense of the percent that already do.
Before I read this, that’s exactly what I spent my life doing, trying to figure out what I had done to make a certain person dislike me. Now I know I probably I did nothing wrong. They are just part of the thirty-three percent that aren’t going to like me, no matter what I do. What a relief to know that it’s them, not me; and I can focus all my energy on my friends
After I read this I realized, that for me, it was true. For example, if I meet ten people, three of them I like right off, three of them are all right and three of them, for no good reason, I just don’t like. Now, I can’t change the world in regard to this, but I can change me; whenever I notice I don’t like someone and have no good reason, I work on moving them into the all right category. I don’t do this for them, I do it for me because it takes energy…negative energy to dislike someone especially when it's for no good reason. I only have so much energy and I refuse to waste any of it negatively. Plus, I believe what goes around, comes around.
Resentments
When I have resentments they make me a victim to whomever or whatever I am resentful towards. Before my journey, I used to run tapes through my mind daily of all the people who I felt had wronged me. They were probably happily waltzing on with their lives while I was mentally ruminating over how they wronged me. Not only would the mental tapes not allow me forget, but the replaying of them amplified it to the point that some of the resentment overtook my life. I had a friend who even went a step further by keeping a written file of her resentments.
Our Needs
Now I want to talk about being a victim to our needs, especially when I used to think it was someone else’s job to meet all of mine. What a liberating day it was when I learned that "I’m the only one whose job it is to meet my needs.” Nowadays, others meet my needs, but I also know it’s not their job to do so. In fact, when I quit demanding that they meet my needs, they started meeting them more that ever! But ultimately, it's my job and only my job when it comes to having my needs met. (Oh, it also helps getting my needs met when I am willing to tell others what my needs are.) The ‘What Takes the Place of Food’ section is all about me meeting my needs.
Think back for a moment to the humor section and about how important it is to see the funny side of most situations. I can really visualize the silliness of my before beliefs as I write this section. It’s important to be able to laugh at myself/ourselves. It is very therapeutic.
Another early lesson I learned was that whenever anything goes wrong in my life, no matter what it is, I have to take partial or full ownership (usually much more ownership than I care to admit). Take for example the car wreck I was in recently. Knowing that 'no matter what' at least 1 percent of it was my fault made it impossible for me to be the victim. It has been well over 15 years since I have felt the victim. Being the victim was something I often ate over. Initially, I would whine about why I was always the one who had to say I’m sorry. Being a somewhat selfish person, it made it easier to say I’m sorry when I realized I was only saying sorry for me, so I would not eat over it. Frequently it benefited theother person, but ultimately I wasn't doing it for them.
I used to be a victim even of the weather. The only time of the year I was happy weather-wise was during really warm, early spring days because I felt they were unexpected added bonuses. Warm spring days were wonderful, but I took them for-granted because spring was supposed to be nice. I hated summer because it was often too warm, and I especially despised warm fall days because they were just tricking me because winter was just around the corner.
As I look back now I just shake my head, but that was how my life was. Today I love all kinds of weather. Right now, it’s extremely cold, but for me, it’s beautiful because whenever it gets this cold it’s usually sunny. All I can see is the sunshine. Now I love these kinds of days. Whenever we get days like this, I immediately run out and have my car washed (because it’s so cold even the dirt stays away) and enjoy the sun and how shiny my car looks. I can really see the humor and laugh at myself over the control I used to give even the weather.
When I decided that only I can irritate me, my world started changing. Choosing to believe that it’s someone else’s fault that I’m irritated puts me in the role of the victim, and when I’m in that mode, I have no control over the situation, thus making it impossible for me to move beyond it.
Now when I’m feeling irritated I believe that it’s my problem and no one else’s. In the beginning, it used to bother me, but now It’s totally freeing. If I’m irritated, I can fix it. I don’t have to wait for someone else to quit what they are doing. Now that the blinders are off, I can see how ridiculous my irritation often was. Sometimes my annoyance is connected to another’s actions, but often it’s a direct by-product of my own thinking.
Let me give you an example. The other day while driving home I started thinking about how I was most likely going to walk into a messy house because my husband had the day off. As I was thinking about all this I felt myself becoming irritated. The recovery bell rang inside my head and said, “You're making yourself feel irritated." The voice of reason continued to tell me, "You may not have a choice about whether or not the house is messy, but you do have a choice as to whether you let it get to you or not." When I got home I was in a happy mood and the kitchen being a little messy did not bother me at all and I went on to have a very nice evening. Now if I had walked into the house irritated, unless the kitchen was spotless, I would have let it ruin my whole evening.
In the beginning of my journey, there were times when fearful feelings coupled with loneliness and emptiness were so overwhelming they would momentarily paralyze me and send me running toward the fridge. For me, when that panic set in, all my good intentions would go out the window.
I have found the solution to fear. My experience is that the answer varies depending upon the situation. Sometimes I need to be alone to gather strength especially when all the noise is distracting to me. While at other times, the sound of people helps with me deal with my anxiety. Sometimes I need to sleep or read so I can escape. This momentary respite helps me gain the strength to go on for another day. At other times, I need to connect with another food addict to share experience, strength and hope, reminding me that I’m not alone.
Someone said to me once, “Fear” stands for Face Everything And Recover or False Evidence Appearing Real. Therefore, when I feel “fearful” I have two choices. I can either face it and recover or realize it's just false evidence appearing real.
In summary, I am the only one who can make myself a victim. The only way someone else can do so is for me to allow it. Removing myself from the victim role is for the most part a mental endeavor. I had to change the way I think. To recap here is a list of some of positive modifications I have made:
© Letting go of changing my past
© Making sure that I’m acting on stressors rather than reacting to them;
I want to be The Pinball Wizard.
© Knowing that “What others think of me is not my business."
What matters is what I think of me.
© Realizing that I can’t please everyone no matter what I do,
so I concentrate on those who are pleased just by "me" being “me."
© Only disliking people if I a have valid reasons
© Focusing on creating positive as opposed to negative energy
© Knowing that resentments only hurt me
© Understanding that it’s ultimately my job to meet my own needs
© Being willing to say I’m sorry even when the other person is technically at fault
© Realizing that when I feel irritated, its my problem, and I have
the power to change it.
© If all else fails, I take a nap.
Activity
Write 400 to 500 words about how you put yourself in the victim role.
Coaching note: send the paper to me.
I have found that the longer my food is in order, the more No Matter What Red List days I have; and the more exact I am with my food weighing, the easier it is to alter my inner self.
What Others
Think Of Me
Is Not
My Business
Fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Fear is:
Face
Everything
And
Recover
I’m the
Pinball
Wizard!
The Lists and
Being a Victim
My Yellow list
Rewrite your shortened Yellow List. You do not have to fill in all the spaces.
1. ______________________________
2. ______________________________
3. ______________________________
4 _______________________________
5,_______________________________
6. ______________________________
7._______________________________
8._______________________________
9._______________________________
© Again your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Eight
1. _____________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. _____________________________ 8. ____________________________
3. _____________________________ 9. ____________________________
4. _____________________________ 10. ___________________________
5. _____________________________ 11. ___________________________
6. _____________________________ 12. __________________________
© When a life circumstance crops up, don’t forget to write it down and slip it into your life pockets as a reminder that we don’t eat over it because LIFE'S IN ONE POCKET AND FOOD'S IN THE OTHER AND WE DON’T MIX.
© Today is the day. If you aren’t willing to do it today; you probably won’t be willing to do it tomorrow. So ask for the willingness to continue doing it “just for today."
© I know I have another binge in me, but I’m not sure if I have another recovery. Hence, I have given my all “one day at a time” because I don’t want to test the "Do I have another recovery?” theory. Everything… and I mean everything, I’m asking you to do I have done myself and most likely still do.
Considering you kept my program, I’m gong to assume you are willing or at the least want to be ‘willing” to embrace what I’m asking you to do. Whichever component you are struggling with is the very one you need to embrace the most No Matter What "just for today!"
© Weighing your vegetables is the second most important thing next to your No Matter What Red List in your fight against evicting your addict and taking control and accomplishing a Thin and Serene Way of Life. Drastic situations take “consistent” radical measures and I don’t think you would have purchased my program if your situation were not a matter of life and/or death. Eating yourself to death is a slow painful way to go.
Your Green List - Week Eight
Your Green List is the same as last week.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch vegetables remain twelve exact ounces for this week.
3. Your dinner vegetables remain sixteen exact ounces for this week.
4. Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
5. You need to continue leaving at least four hours between your meals.
6. Knowing in your “heart” that you are becoming Thin and Serene.
© You may find yourself resisting this No Matter What part. It’s impossible for me to put into words the importance of accepting this part; it is the core foundation as to how I have remained Thin and Serene for over nineteen years. If you want what I have, you are going to have to embrace it. (In order for me to keep my addict/disease from making my food decisions for me and to enjoy complete “freedom” around my food I have chosen to weight everything I eat. I have found that sometimes I have to do “A” to get “Z”.)
Being a Victim No More
In this section, I’m going to share with you many happenings in my life that made certain that I stayed in the victim role (resentments, people-pleasing, my past, my needs and fault-finding, etc.)
Before recovery I was like the ball in the pinball machine that I spoke of earlier,
but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball does not have a life and neither did I. I was controlled by and a victim of whatever pinball wizard was interfering with my life at the time. I never acted on anything, all I did was react to what I perceived others (the pinball wizards) were doing to me. During that time I thought I had a life, but as I look back now, I see I was never 'acting on' just 'reacting to.' This was not any way to live. Again, I’m one of the lucky ones and a victim no more.
There’s nothing I can do to change my past, but with the help of what I have learned in the last nineteen years, I am able to change the ending. I shudder to think of what the ending could have been like if I had not started my trial and error journey nineteen years ago. With the help of my program, you, too, have a chance to change your ending. All it takes is a ton of “willingness” and miles of footwork. Let’s get on with the footwork!
What others think of me is not my business. What others think of me is not my business… What others think of me is not my business…
That saying was paramount in removing me from the victim role. (Now I did have to say it many times a day for over twenty-one days before I began to live it). Remember, twenty-one days makes a habit!
What I’m about to share with you in regard to people-pleasing and worrying about what others think of me has changed my life. Perhaps it will change yours, too.
Of all the people I know, thirty-three percent are going to like me and probably consider me a friend; another thirty-three percent are going to think I’m all right; and the last thirty-three percent are not going to like me, no matter what. My job is to make sure I’m not trying to get that last thirty three percent to like me at the expense of the percent that already do.
Before I read this, that’s exactly what I spent my life doing, trying to figure out what I had done to make a certain person dislike me. Now I know I probably I did nothing wrong. They are just part of the thirty-three percent that aren’t going to like me, no matter what I do. What a relief to know that it’s them, not me; and I can focus all my energy on my friends
After I read this I realized, that for me, it was true. For example, if I meet ten people, three of them I like right off, three of them are all right and three of them, for no good reason, I just don’t like. Now, I can’t change the world in regard to this, but I can change me; whenever I notice I don’t like someone and have no good reason, I work on moving them into the all right category. I don’t do this for them, I do it for me because it takes energy…negative energy to dislike someone especially when it's for no good reason. I only have so much energy and I refuse to waste any of it negatively. Plus, I believe what goes around, comes around.
Resentments
When I have resentments they make me a victim to whomever or whatever I am resentful towards. Before my journey, I used to run tapes through my mind daily of all the people who I felt had wronged me. They were probably happily waltzing on with their lives while I was mentally ruminating over how they wronged me. Not only would the mental tapes not allow me forget, but the replaying of them amplified it to the point that some of the resentment overtook my life. I had a friend who even went a step further by keeping a written file of her resentments.
Our Needs
Now I want to talk about being a victim to our needs, especially when I used to think it was someone else’s job to meet all of mine. What a liberating day it was when I learned that "I’m the only one whose job it is to meet my needs.” Nowadays, others meet my needs, but I also know it’s not their job to do so. In fact, when I quit demanding that they meet my needs, they started meeting them more that ever! But ultimately, it's my job and only my job when it comes to having my needs met. (Oh, it also helps getting my needs met when I am willing to tell others what my needs are.) The ‘What Takes the Place of Food’ section is all about me meeting my needs.
Think back for a moment to the humor section and about how important it is to see the funny side of most situations. I can really visualize the silliness of my before beliefs as I write this section. It’s important to be able to laugh at myself/ourselves. It is very therapeutic.
Another early lesson I learned was that whenever anything goes wrong in my life, no matter what it is, I have to take partial or full ownership (usually much more ownership than I care to admit). Take for example the car wreck I was in recently. Knowing that 'no matter what' at least 1 percent of it was my fault made it impossible for me to be the victim. It has been well over 15 years since I have felt the victim. Being the victim was something I often ate over. Initially, I would whine about why I was always the one who had to say I’m sorry. Being a somewhat selfish person, it made it easier to say I’m sorry when I realized I was only saying sorry for me, so I would not eat over it. Frequently it benefited theother person, but ultimately I wasn't doing it for them.
I used to be a victim even of the weather. The only time of the year I was happy weather-wise was during really warm, early spring days because I felt they were unexpected added bonuses. Warm spring days were wonderful, but I took them for-granted because spring was supposed to be nice. I hated summer because it was often too warm, and I especially despised warm fall days because they were just tricking me because winter was just around the corner.
As I look back now I just shake my head, but that was how my life was. Today I love all kinds of weather. Right now, it’s extremely cold, but for me, it’s beautiful because whenever it gets this cold it’s usually sunny. All I can see is the sunshine. Now I love these kinds of days. Whenever we get days like this, I immediately run out and have my car washed (because it’s so cold even the dirt stays away) and enjoy the sun and how shiny my car looks. I can really see the humor and laugh at myself over the control I used to give even the weather.
When I decided that only I can irritate me, my world started changing. Choosing to believe that it’s someone else’s fault that I’m irritated puts me in the role of the victim, and when I’m in that mode, I have no control over the situation, thus making it impossible for me to move beyond it.
Now when I’m feeling irritated I believe that it’s my problem and no one else’s. In the beginning, it used to bother me, but now It’s totally freeing. If I’m irritated, I can fix it. I don’t have to wait for someone else to quit what they are doing. Now that the blinders are off, I can see how ridiculous my irritation often was. Sometimes my annoyance is connected to another’s actions, but often it’s a direct by-product of my own thinking.
Let me give you an example. The other day while driving home I started thinking about how I was most likely going to walk into a messy house because my husband had the day off. As I was thinking about all this I felt myself becoming irritated. The recovery bell rang inside my head and said, “You're making yourself feel irritated." The voice of reason continued to tell me, "You may not have a choice about whether or not the house is messy, but you do have a choice as to whether you let it get to you or not." When I got home I was in a happy mood and the kitchen being a little messy did not bother me at all and I went on to have a very nice evening. Now if I had walked into the house irritated, unless the kitchen was spotless, I would have let it ruin my whole evening.
In the beginning of my journey, there were times when fearful feelings coupled with loneliness and emptiness were so overwhelming they would momentarily paralyze me and send me running toward the fridge. For me, when that panic set in, all my good intentions would go out the window.
I have found the solution to fear. My experience is that the answer varies depending upon the situation. Sometimes I need to be alone to gather strength especially when all the noise is distracting to me. While at other times, the sound of people helps with me deal with my anxiety. Sometimes I need to sleep or read so I can escape. This momentary respite helps me gain the strength to go on for another day. At other times, I need to connect with another food addict to share experience, strength and hope, reminding me that I’m not alone.
Someone said to me once, “Fear” stands for Face Everything And Recover or False Evidence Appearing Real. Therefore, when I feel “fearful” I have two choices. I can either face it and recover or realize it's just false evidence appearing real.
In summary, I am the only one who can make myself a victim. The only way someone else can do so is for me to allow it. Removing myself from the victim role is for the most part a mental endeavor. I had to change the way I think. To recap here is a list of some of positive modifications I have made:
© Letting go of changing my past
© Making sure that I’m acting on stressors rather than reacting to them;
I want to be The Pinball Wizard.
© Knowing that “What others think of me is not my business."
What matters is what I think of me.
© Realizing that I can’t please everyone no matter what I do,
so I concentrate on those who are pleased just by "me" being “me."
© Only disliking people if I a have valid reasons
© Focusing on creating positive as opposed to negative energy
© Knowing that resentments only hurt me
© Understanding that it’s ultimately my job to meet my own needs
© Being willing to say I’m sorry even when the other person is technically at fault
© Realizing that when I feel irritated, its my problem, and I have
the power to change it.
© If all else fails, I take a nap.
Activity
Write 400 to 500 words about how you put yourself in the victim role.
Coaching note: send the paper to me.
I have found that the longer my food is in order, the more No Matter What Red List days I have; and the more exact I am with my food weighing, the easier it is to alter my inner self.
What Others
Think Of Me
Is Not
My Business
Fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Fear is:
Face
Everything
And
Recover
I’m the
Pinball
Wizard!
7
Week Seven
The Lists and
Finding Your Truth
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow List “could” be getting even smaller in size.
1. ______________________________ 6.___________________________
2. ______________________________ 7. __________________________
3. _____________________________ 8. __________________________
4 ______________________________ 9. __________________________
5.______________________________ 10. __________________________
Your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Seven
1. ______________________________ 6____________________________
2. ______________________________ 7.____________________________
3. ______________________________ 8.____________________________
4. ______________________________ 9.____________________________
5. ______________________________ 10. ___________________________
-A short note from your addict/disease
“I'm such a hated disease, yet I don't come uninvited. You choose to have me. Many have chosen me instead of love peace and ultimately even life.
(Think of this note, as you read the following suggestions.)
♥If you’re still cooking and baking any of your trigger foods, you might want to ask yourself why. My answer was usually “my family needs them.” Do they need them more than you need life?
♥Let’s talk about buffets, the good, the bad and the ugly! When you go out to dinner are you still choosing buffets? You might want to ask yourself why. If truth were to be told, my answer, before I started an exactly weigh food plan, would have been so my addict could talk me into over-eating, since I had never been to a buffet without eating more than I needed. The good is, if you are adhering to an everywhere, all the time, exactly weighed food plan, like I do; buffets are a great place to get the large amount of veggies your body requires to keep your addict/disease in her place. The ugly is looking around at a buffet and seeing the unhealthy amount of weight many of those that frequent buffets are carrying, I know I use to be one of them.
♥By now, the concept of FOOD IN ONE POCKET, LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX “could” be cemented; if it’s not, keep saying it until it is.
♥Your addict/disease loves it when you feel like you’re going to die if you don’t eat XXX. But the “truth” is that many of us ate so often that we only felt truly “hungry” a few times in our lives and never true “hunger.” I surely fell into that category. You might want to replace the phrase, “I’m really hungry” with “I really want to eat.” For me, it helped me keep my addict from tricking me into thinking I was starving.
♥As your B2B No Matter What Red List day count accumulates so will your self-trust. Thus, accruing your day count has to be the number one priory in your life.
Notes and Positive Thoughts
My Green List - Week Seven
For this weeks Green list, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch will remain, twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. For dinner you need to continue eating your exactly measured 16 ounces of veggies. Keep in mind that your addict/disease hates, loathes and despises vegetables but you body craves them.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
5. Knowing in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If it’s not already; it’s time for your exactly weighed vegetable to be part of your B2B No Matter What Day Count.
♥Many of us (me included) need to be eating our exact amount of vegetables, No Matter What in all circumstances. i.e. restaurants, others’ homes, etc. This means that at times, you may need to bring extra veggies being we eat a lot.
♥ At first this used to be embarrassing for me, but I thought, “What’s more embarrassing; sitting at a restaurant or friend’s house eating extra veggies or sitting there weighing an extra 100 pounds?” I opt for the extra veggies. (I call this taking back-up food because living the Thin and Serene Way of Life, you do eat loads of vegetables and your hostess may not have enough to cover all you require.
Finding Your Truth
Now that you have made a valiant attempt to stop stuffing your face, you are ready to face your stuff.
Before recovery I was the ball in the pinball machine, but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball has no life and neither did I. I was being controlled by the pinball wizard (my food addict/disease) and at his or her mercy. I never acted on anything, just reacted. During that time I thought I had a life, but in hindsight, I realize I was just being moved along by the dysfunction around me. This was no way to live. Today I feel like I’m one of the lucky ones who found her “truths” and a way out.
By this time you have most likely uncovered some “truths” about yourself. (I also refer to “truths” as “ahas.” They are life altering, new ways of thinking.
Let me share with you some “truths” about me, that were uncovered to help you decide what your new “truths” might be:
♥I want to grow up to be just like my granddaughter. I get chills just thinking about her. Taking into account that my granddaughter laughs 283 more times a day than I do.
♥I love and I mean worship music. In my dictionary of “truths” right next to the word Heaven is Music. Music for me is Heaven on Earth. In fact, this year I received one of the best Christmas gifts ever, a hand-me-down IPOD. (my son got a new one). I immediately put three hundred and thirty of my favorite songs of all time. What a loving gift to myself.
♥Food is not the answer. If you are not sure on this one refer back to the Activity where you wrote the binge paper.
♥There is another meal coming. The first few months into recovery, I noticed I wanted to eat as though each meal were my last. Whatever stopping mechanism inside that lets one know that another meal is coming is nonexistent for me. My food addict made sure that mine was broken and stayed that way. As far as I was concerned, each meal was my last.
♥I think that’s why staying on my food plan was so hard when I was in early recovery. It sounds crazy when I think of it now, but this is what my food addict had me brainwashed into believing. This “aha” was a real eye-opener. Realizing this untruth did not change it immediately; it took a great deal of self-talk to change it. For years I had to remind myself on a daily basis that there would be another meal coming. Now not only do I know that there is another meal coming, but also know that I get three meals a day, ninety a month and over a thousand a year. Remember earlier when I talked about the old tapes I keep stored away in my recovery brain? Well, here’s another one: over a thousand delicious meals just waiting for me. It makes it so I don’t mind when a meal ends. For the first time in my life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s another meal coming.
It’s all right to waste food. In my past somewhere I got the idea that it was unacceptable to throw food away. Maybe it was all the starving babies in India that my economical practice was going to help. (I wonder why it didn’t bother me when I wasted food on my waist?) However, throwing food in the garbage is still something I struggle with; therefore every time I discard leftovers in the garbage, I pat myself on the back. (Remember I said I was a great cheerleader for myself.)
♥It is impossible for me to binge today and be Thin and Serene tomorrow. One bite is too many and a million is not enough. If it’s a No Matter What List food, even one bite can hurt me
♥It’s ok and even encouraged for me to waste food. I spent the first thirty-three years of my life wasting food on my waist, now it’s time to spend the next fifty+ years wasting food where it belongs, in the garbage.
♥Silence is golden. “Never miss a good chance to shut up is one of my favorite mantras. I spent many years being quiet until l learned to say only nice things to people.
♥What is my “truth” is often inconvenient.” “Truth” may not be easy, but it is simple and comes with practice. “If at first I don’t succeed, try, try again.”
♥I have never gone to a buffet without the intent of pigging out. Buffets do not pave the way to a Thin and Serene life. I think, that buffets are my addict’s weekend home. I have never gone to a buffet when my addict was not leading the way. Going to a buffet is tempting the food pocket. Very few of us, if any, can go to a buffet and leave our addicts at home.
♥Today’s recovery is all I have, these 24 hours. Hence, if you have 24 hours, you could say you have the same as me. It all starts and ends with 24 hours. Yes, they accumulate, but it is still just 24 hours.
♥I can be nice to someone who is not nice to me; be nice then detach with love.
♥When I focus on what‘s “fair” in my life, magically my life is transformed.
♥You’re not the same person you were 24 hours ago. You have changed one day at a time. You have a new way of living and a program to follow that will keep you abstinent and serene as long as you are willing to follow it
Activity
Write a list of your new “ahas” and “truths”.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
(Add more spaces if necessary and I hope it’s necessary.)
I’m
Beginning to
Know
“My Truth”
The Lists and
Finding Your Truth
My Yellow List
Rewrite your Yellow List adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow List “could” be getting even smaller in size.
1. ______________________________ 6.___________________________
2. ______________________________ 7. __________________________
3. _____________________________ 8. __________________________
4 ______________________________ 9. __________________________
5.______________________________ 10. __________________________
Your Yellow List needs to be used only when absolutely necessary. Be sure YOU are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your addict/disease. Using your Yellow List only when absolutely necessary will help make your abstinent muscle stronger.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Seven
1. ______________________________ 6____________________________
2. ______________________________ 7.____________________________
3. ______________________________ 8.____________________________
4. ______________________________ 9.____________________________
5. ______________________________ 10. ___________________________
-A short note from your addict/disease
“I'm such a hated disease, yet I don't come uninvited. You choose to have me. Many have chosen me instead of love peace and ultimately even life.
(Think of this note, as you read the following suggestions.)
♥If you’re still cooking and baking any of your trigger foods, you might want to ask yourself why. My answer was usually “my family needs them.” Do they need them more than you need life?
♥Let’s talk about buffets, the good, the bad and the ugly! When you go out to dinner are you still choosing buffets? You might want to ask yourself why. If truth were to be told, my answer, before I started an exactly weigh food plan, would have been so my addict could talk me into over-eating, since I had never been to a buffet without eating more than I needed. The good is, if you are adhering to an everywhere, all the time, exactly weighed food plan, like I do; buffets are a great place to get the large amount of veggies your body requires to keep your addict/disease in her place. The ugly is looking around at a buffet and seeing the unhealthy amount of weight many of those that frequent buffets are carrying, I know I use to be one of them.
♥By now, the concept of FOOD IN ONE POCKET, LIFE IN THE OTHER: DON’T MIX “could” be cemented; if it’s not, keep saying it until it is.
♥Your addict/disease loves it when you feel like you’re going to die if you don’t eat XXX. But the “truth” is that many of us ate so often that we only felt truly “hungry” a few times in our lives and never true “hunger.” I surely fell into that category. You might want to replace the phrase, “I’m really hungry” with “I really want to eat.” For me, it helped me keep my addict from tricking me into thinking I was starving.
♥As your B2B No Matter What Red List day count accumulates so will your self-trust. Thus, accruing your day count has to be the number one priory in your life.
Notes and Positive Thoughts
My Green List - Week Seven
For this weeks Green list, concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch will remain, twelve exact ounces of vegetables again for this week.
3. For dinner you need to continue eating your exactly measured 16 ounces of veggies. Keep in mind that your addict/disease hates, loathes and despises vegetables but you body craves them.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
5. Knowing in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If it’s not already; it’s time for your exactly weighed vegetable to be part of your B2B No Matter What Day Count.
♥Many of us (me included) need to be eating our exact amount of vegetables, No Matter What in all circumstances. i.e. restaurants, others’ homes, etc. This means that at times, you may need to bring extra veggies being we eat a lot.
♥ At first this used to be embarrassing for me, but I thought, “What’s more embarrassing; sitting at a restaurant or friend’s house eating extra veggies or sitting there weighing an extra 100 pounds?” I opt for the extra veggies. (I call this taking back-up food because living the Thin and Serene Way of Life, you do eat loads of vegetables and your hostess may not have enough to cover all you require.
Finding Your Truth
Now that you have made a valiant attempt to stop stuffing your face, you are ready to face your stuff.
Before recovery I was the ball in the pinball machine, but I did not realize it until I was out of the food. That ball has no life and neither did I. I was being controlled by the pinball wizard (my food addict/disease) and at his or her mercy. I never acted on anything, just reacted. During that time I thought I had a life, but in hindsight, I realize I was just being moved along by the dysfunction around me. This was no way to live. Today I feel like I’m one of the lucky ones who found her “truths” and a way out.
By this time you have most likely uncovered some “truths” about yourself. (I also refer to “truths” as “ahas.” They are life altering, new ways of thinking.
Let me share with you some “truths” about me, that were uncovered to help you decide what your new “truths” might be:
♥I want to grow up to be just like my granddaughter. I get chills just thinking about her. Taking into account that my granddaughter laughs 283 more times a day than I do.
♥I love and I mean worship music. In my dictionary of “truths” right next to the word Heaven is Music. Music for me is Heaven on Earth. In fact, this year I received one of the best Christmas gifts ever, a hand-me-down IPOD. (my son got a new one). I immediately put three hundred and thirty of my favorite songs of all time. What a loving gift to myself.
♥Food is not the answer. If you are not sure on this one refer back to the Activity where you wrote the binge paper.
♥There is another meal coming. The first few months into recovery, I noticed I wanted to eat as though each meal were my last. Whatever stopping mechanism inside that lets one know that another meal is coming is nonexistent for me. My food addict made sure that mine was broken and stayed that way. As far as I was concerned, each meal was my last.
♥I think that’s why staying on my food plan was so hard when I was in early recovery. It sounds crazy when I think of it now, but this is what my food addict had me brainwashed into believing. This “aha” was a real eye-opener. Realizing this untruth did not change it immediately; it took a great deal of self-talk to change it. For years I had to remind myself on a daily basis that there would be another meal coming. Now not only do I know that there is another meal coming, but also know that I get three meals a day, ninety a month and over a thousand a year. Remember earlier when I talked about the old tapes I keep stored away in my recovery brain? Well, here’s another one: over a thousand delicious meals just waiting for me. It makes it so I don’t mind when a meal ends. For the first time in my life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s another meal coming.
It’s all right to waste food. In my past somewhere I got the idea that it was unacceptable to throw food away. Maybe it was all the starving babies in India that my economical practice was going to help. (I wonder why it didn’t bother me when I wasted food on my waist?) However, throwing food in the garbage is still something I struggle with; therefore every time I discard leftovers in the garbage, I pat myself on the back. (Remember I said I was a great cheerleader for myself.)
♥It is impossible for me to binge today and be Thin and Serene tomorrow. One bite is too many and a million is not enough. If it’s a No Matter What List food, even one bite can hurt me
♥It’s ok and even encouraged for me to waste food. I spent the first thirty-three years of my life wasting food on my waist, now it’s time to spend the next fifty+ years wasting food where it belongs, in the garbage.
♥Silence is golden. “Never miss a good chance to shut up is one of my favorite mantras. I spent many years being quiet until l learned to say only nice things to people.
♥What is my “truth” is often inconvenient.” “Truth” may not be easy, but it is simple and comes with practice. “If at first I don’t succeed, try, try again.”
♥I have never gone to a buffet without the intent of pigging out. Buffets do not pave the way to a Thin and Serene life. I think, that buffets are my addict’s weekend home. I have never gone to a buffet when my addict was not leading the way. Going to a buffet is tempting the food pocket. Very few of us, if any, can go to a buffet and leave our addicts at home.
♥Today’s recovery is all I have, these 24 hours. Hence, if you have 24 hours, you could say you have the same as me. It all starts and ends with 24 hours. Yes, they accumulate, but it is still just 24 hours.
♥I can be nice to someone who is not nice to me; be nice then detach with love.
♥When I focus on what‘s “fair” in my life, magically my life is transformed.
♥You’re not the same person you were 24 hours ago. You have changed one day at a time. You have a new way of living and a program to follow that will keep you abstinent and serene as long as you are willing to follow it
Activity
Write a list of your new “ahas” and “truths”.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
(Add more spaces if necessary and I hope it’s necessary.)
I’m
Beginning to
Know
“My Truth”
6
Week Six
The Lists and
Loving Yourself
My Yellow List - Week Six
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. ______________________________ 8. __________________________
3. ______________________________ 9. __________________________
4 _______________________________ 10. _________________________
5,_______________________________ 11. ________________________
6. ______________________________ 12. ________________________
♥Your Yellow List needs to be used only when necessary; it need not be a free for all. Be sure “you” are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your disease/addict.
My No Matter What Red List - Week six
1. __________________________ 8. ______________________
2. __________________________ 9. ______________________
3. __________________________ 10. ______________________
4. __________________________ 11. ______________________
5.___________________________ 12. ______________________
6.___________________________ 13. ______________________
7. __________________________ 14. _______________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so, remembering you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go yet (as long as you wait until morning to do so).
♥Reminder: When difficulties surface in your life and you feel the need to eat over them, write down what they are on a slip of paper and place it into your life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food, which is safe and in a separate pocket
♥One day at a time, I will not eat sugar again for primarily two reasons; one being that it makes me insane and the other is that I’ve had my share of sugar. In fact, I had more than my share of sugar in my first 33 years. I’m sure I had my share and at least one or two other people’s shares. I can relate to this because when I was young, my mom spent a great deal of time teaching me the sharing concept.
Activity
Maybe you too have items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of also. Make a list of the items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of.
Coaching Note: Write to me about all the items on your No Matter What Red List that fall into this category.
My Green List - Week Six
For this week concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch is still exactly twelve ounces of vegetables.
3. For dinner, you will need to increase your exactly weighed vegetables to sixteen ounces. Remember your body loves veggies. By now I’m sure you are well aware of the heavier ones.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchycarb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
5. Beginning to know in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If you haven’t already, you need to ask yourself why you have not made your exactly weighed vegetables part or your No Matter What Day Count.
Loving Yourself
In about the third year of my food recovery I was at a meeting with other food-recovering people when a friend came up to me and said, “You look like you’re doing well.” My response was,” Yes, I am.” At that point he said in somewhat of a derogatory voice, "What have you done, fallen in love?” Without even a moments thought, I replied,” Yes, I have with myself!”
That was the beginning of my love affair with myself. It was the first time I realized that I really did love myself. Now the problem was how to nurture it. Not having had a good role model for this, it was not something that came naturally to me.
So what did I do? I went out and bought a book called, How to Be Your Own Best Friend. That sounded like a good place to start. I read through the book and marked all the entries that peaked my interest. Then I started incorporating them into my daily life.
One that has stuck with me to this day is this: The first time you notice that your car needs gas, pull into a service station and get gas (unless this is unfeasible). I think this particular idea had such an impact on me because it seemed so simple and even to some extent silly, but I found that when I did it, I did feel good about myself. You might want to try it!
What you will find next is a list of things I did that made me feel good about myself
♥Wrote special things about myself on notes and put them everywhere.
♥Placed inspirational pictures on my computer. I found out how to make my screen saver a power point picture show.
♥Wrote positive affirmations. (This topic will be covered in depth later).
♥Bought flowers for myself. I love flowers! My favorites are baby carnations, especially those that smell like cinnamon.
♥ Bought a supply of candles with scents I simply adore and burned them. (If you’re not using up at least one every two weeks, you’re probably not burning them as much as you “could“).
♥Purchased some fragrant massage oil and took the time to rub it into my feet every few days. It definitely makes my feet feel like I’m their friend.
♥Holiday decorating is a gift I give to myself. My holiday season pig-out used to start a month before Halloween and last until after Easter. Now instead of eating during this time period, I decorate. I love ornamentation!
♥I would never talk disrespectfully to a best friend. Therefore I never talk that way to myself (anymore). I call myself “Sweetie.” As a matter of fact, I call everyone “Sweetie.” My journey provided me with a world in which most people I know are my “sweeties,” especially myself.
Activity: Pick an endearing name for yourself. Some choices are Sweetie, Honey and Dear. Start using it when you are doing self-talk. I do call myself “Silly.” I’m 52 and do many “silly” things. (Some might call them “stupid” things, but I chose to call them “silly”.)
Let’s go back to the time with all the blossoming flowers I spoke of earlier.
One spring a few years into my food recovery journey, it seemed like every single person in the town that I lived in had planted twice as many flowers than ever before. It was one of the most breathtaking experiences. I moved around all that spring just amazed at how beautiful my world had suddenly become. Since then flowers hold a special meaning for me. Before that time, not too much excited me. I used to take a trip to Disneyland to motivate me, but only the thought of it was enticing. When I was actually there, it was disappointing. That was the first of many life-altering corners I turned. I say life altering because since that time I have developed what I call a Low Delight Level or LDL, which simply put is it takes next to nothing to delight me.
Some delightful things that help me be a better friend to myself are:
♥Hummingbirds: Until a few summers ago I don’t remember ever having seen one before. I’m sure they were around, but I was just too into the food to notice. Watching hummingbirds makes me feel like a little kid inside all giddy. I have given myself the gift of a hummingbird feeder on my back porch where I can sit and immerse myself for hours in this lovely creature. People have asked me what’s big enough to take the place of “the food” and one answer is hummingbirds.
♥A newly mopped and especially waxed kitchen floor. I waxed mine over two weeks ago and the shine can still bring a smile to my face.
♥Most of the clothes in my closet: Clothes used to only excite me when I was buying them, now I find myself delighting in them for months (sometimes years) after purchasing them. I also have a pair of black boots that have lasted for over 5 years and each winter when I get them out I’m still eager to put them on.
♥Complimenting others makes me feel really good. I make sure when I notice something nice about someone to compliment them on it. In the beginning I had to look for flattering words since I was not in the habit of focusing on others let alone seeing what was special about them.
♥My eyelash comb: It tickles me pink every time I comb my eyelashes before I apply a second coat of mascara. (Who would have ever thought?)
♥My Herban Essentials Body Oil: This is another gift of love I offer myself. I find that my appreciation for fragrant scents has increased in direct proportion to how out of the way the food is. I’m really into aroma therapy and these oils permeate my soul.
♥Quick vacuuming jobs: The ones you do when you have 10 extra minutes before work
♥Folding warm clothes: Now that I don’t have the fat to insulate me, I get cold easily.
♥Taking the time to pet my cat, Taffy, and she likes it too.
♥Becoming best friends with humor and laughter: I have made a serious assault on humor and laughter...no way was I going to let that friendship escape! I spent year three of my journey bringing more laughter and humor into my life. When I can laugh at myself and the world around me, it’s less likely that I will eat. I did not acquire these views growing up. There are many concepts or tools I did not learn as a child that I needed to know in order to stay out of the food. It does not matter why I did not learn them. What matters is that I spent the last 19 years learning them, and have put this program together in order to share them with you.
Here’s some of what I learned about embracing more humor:
♥Laughter is very powerful medicine. It can lower stress, dissolve anger and unite families in their resolve to overcome troubled times.
♥Without humor, one's thought processes are likely to become stuck and narrowly focused leading to increased stress and the desire to numb out by overeating.
♥Nothing is good or bad. It’s my attitude toward life that determines my enjoyment or lack of it. Laughter helps me look at most things in a better light.
♥Little children laugh about 300 times a day while adults engage an average of 17 times a day. Hence, I want to grow up to be just like my 3-year old grand- daughter.
♥Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement as well as set off a number of positive physical side effects. A good hearty laugh can help:
♥reduce stress,
♥lower blood pressure,
♥elevate mood,
♥boost immune system
♥improve brain functioning,
♥protect the heart,
♥connect you to others,
♥foster instant relaxation and simply make you feel good
Laughing at my circumstances or myself helps reveal that most things are not as earth shattering as they sometimes seem to be. Oftentimes when an unpleasant event occurs, I pretend that it’s happening on a television show that I’m watching so I can distance myself and see the humor in the situation.
Humor changes the way I think, and it was my “stinking thinking” that caused my weight to soar to over 200 pounds. Consequently, with the help of my friend, Laughter, I was able to stay at under 130 pounds for over a year and a half.
The following is a list of humorous activities you “could” embrace:
♥Look for the every day humor. Start searching for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that surround you each day.
Observe infants and young children to learn how to find delight and amusement in the most ordinary things.
Increase your exposure to comedies, comic sitcoms, joke books, comedy clubs, etc.
Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.
Take a 5-10 minute humor break each day. Read jokes, add to a humor notebook, and listen to a funny tape.
If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.
Remind yourself to have fun. Spend time with those who help you see the bright side, and whenever possible, avoid people who are negative and dour.
Laughter is very contagious, pass it around; it’s a welcome healthy relief from the doldrums.
I used to feel that if I did not eat, I would surely die. I now I feel so many wonderful sensations inside me that I could explode with happiness. Sometimes I have to do something very mundane to calm all the emotions bubbling over in me brought about by how fantastic my life has become.
Now don’t get me wrong, unpleasantness happens in my life. I just don’t seem to become blindsided by it anymore. I’m going to wait until significant life problems crop up before I feel horrible, and enjoy all my blessings of which there are many. My life (where I live, where I work, many of the things I do) has not changed much in the last 19 years; however, the way I react to it was changed drastically. Before everything used to be a reason to eat, now there is no good reason to eat foods that are not good for me because “I KEEP MY FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND MY LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
What Loving Thing
can I do
for
Myself Today?
The Lists and
Loving Yourself
My Yellow List - Week Six
Rewrite your yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey.
1. ______________________________ 7. ____________________________
2. ______________________________ 8. __________________________
3. ______________________________ 9. __________________________
4 _______________________________ 10. _________________________
5,_______________________________ 11. ________________________
6. ______________________________ 12. ________________________
♥Your Yellow List needs to be used only when necessary; it need not be a free for all. Be sure “you” are making the choices when using your Yellow List and not your disease/addict.
My No Matter What Red List - Week six
1. __________________________ 8. ______________________
2. __________________________ 9. ______________________
3. __________________________ 10. ______________________
4. __________________________ 11. ______________________
5.___________________________ 12. ______________________
6.___________________________ 13. ______________________
7. __________________________ 14. _______________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. If you have not tackled one of your three +++ items, it’s time to do so, remembering you can always change an item if you decide you are not ready to let it go yet (as long as you wait until morning to do so).
♥Reminder: When difficulties surface in your life and you feel the need to eat over them, write down what they are on a slip of paper and place it into your life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food, which is safe and in a separate pocket
♥One day at a time, I will not eat sugar again for primarily two reasons; one being that it makes me insane and the other is that I’ve had my share of sugar. In fact, I had more than my share of sugar in my first 33 years. I’m sure I had my share and at least one or two other people’s shares. I can relate to this because when I was young, my mom spent a great deal of time teaching me the sharing concept.
Activity
Maybe you too have items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of also. Make a list of the items on your No Matter What Red List that you have had your share of.
Coaching Note: Write to me about all the items on your No Matter What Red List that fall into this category.
My Green List - Week Six
For this week concentrate on exactness on your Green List. This list really exercises your abstinent muscle when done exactly.
1. Continue to drink your eight ounces of water before each meal.
2. Your lunch is still exactly twelve ounces of vegetables.
3. For dinner, you will need to increase your exactly weighed vegetables to sixteen ounces. Remember your body loves veggies. By now I’m sure you are well aware of the heavier ones.
4. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchycarb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
4. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals. Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
5. Beginning to know in your “heart” that becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
♥If you haven’t already, you need to ask yourself why you have not made your exactly weighed vegetables part or your No Matter What Day Count.
Loving Yourself
In about the third year of my food recovery I was at a meeting with other food-recovering people when a friend came up to me and said, “You look like you’re doing well.” My response was,” Yes, I am.” At that point he said in somewhat of a derogatory voice, "What have you done, fallen in love?” Without even a moments thought, I replied,” Yes, I have with myself!”
That was the beginning of my love affair with myself. It was the first time I realized that I really did love myself. Now the problem was how to nurture it. Not having had a good role model for this, it was not something that came naturally to me.
So what did I do? I went out and bought a book called, How to Be Your Own Best Friend. That sounded like a good place to start. I read through the book and marked all the entries that peaked my interest. Then I started incorporating them into my daily life.
One that has stuck with me to this day is this: The first time you notice that your car needs gas, pull into a service station and get gas (unless this is unfeasible). I think this particular idea had such an impact on me because it seemed so simple and even to some extent silly, but I found that when I did it, I did feel good about myself. You might want to try it!
What you will find next is a list of things I did that made me feel good about myself
♥Wrote special things about myself on notes and put them everywhere.
♥Placed inspirational pictures on my computer. I found out how to make my screen saver a power point picture show.
♥Wrote positive affirmations. (This topic will be covered in depth later).
♥Bought flowers for myself. I love flowers! My favorites are baby carnations, especially those that smell like cinnamon.
♥ Bought a supply of candles with scents I simply adore and burned them. (If you’re not using up at least one every two weeks, you’re probably not burning them as much as you “could“).
♥Purchased some fragrant massage oil and took the time to rub it into my feet every few days. It definitely makes my feet feel like I’m their friend.
♥Holiday decorating is a gift I give to myself. My holiday season pig-out used to start a month before Halloween and last until after Easter. Now instead of eating during this time period, I decorate. I love ornamentation!
♥I would never talk disrespectfully to a best friend. Therefore I never talk that way to myself (anymore). I call myself “Sweetie.” As a matter of fact, I call everyone “Sweetie.” My journey provided me with a world in which most people I know are my “sweeties,” especially myself.
Activity: Pick an endearing name for yourself. Some choices are Sweetie, Honey and Dear. Start using it when you are doing self-talk. I do call myself “Silly.” I’m 52 and do many “silly” things. (Some might call them “stupid” things, but I chose to call them “silly”.)
Let’s go back to the time with all the blossoming flowers I spoke of earlier.
One spring a few years into my food recovery journey, it seemed like every single person in the town that I lived in had planted twice as many flowers than ever before. It was one of the most breathtaking experiences. I moved around all that spring just amazed at how beautiful my world had suddenly become. Since then flowers hold a special meaning for me. Before that time, not too much excited me. I used to take a trip to Disneyland to motivate me, but only the thought of it was enticing. When I was actually there, it was disappointing. That was the first of many life-altering corners I turned. I say life altering because since that time I have developed what I call a Low Delight Level or LDL, which simply put is it takes next to nothing to delight me.
Some delightful things that help me be a better friend to myself are:
♥Hummingbirds: Until a few summers ago I don’t remember ever having seen one before. I’m sure they were around, but I was just too into the food to notice. Watching hummingbirds makes me feel like a little kid inside all giddy. I have given myself the gift of a hummingbird feeder on my back porch where I can sit and immerse myself for hours in this lovely creature. People have asked me what’s big enough to take the place of “the food” and one answer is hummingbirds.
♥A newly mopped and especially waxed kitchen floor. I waxed mine over two weeks ago and the shine can still bring a smile to my face.
♥Most of the clothes in my closet: Clothes used to only excite me when I was buying them, now I find myself delighting in them for months (sometimes years) after purchasing them. I also have a pair of black boots that have lasted for over 5 years and each winter when I get them out I’m still eager to put them on.
♥Complimenting others makes me feel really good. I make sure when I notice something nice about someone to compliment them on it. In the beginning I had to look for flattering words since I was not in the habit of focusing on others let alone seeing what was special about them.
♥My eyelash comb: It tickles me pink every time I comb my eyelashes before I apply a second coat of mascara. (Who would have ever thought?)
♥My Herban Essentials Body Oil: This is another gift of love I offer myself. I find that my appreciation for fragrant scents has increased in direct proportion to how out of the way the food is. I’m really into aroma therapy and these oils permeate my soul.
♥Quick vacuuming jobs: The ones you do when you have 10 extra minutes before work
♥Folding warm clothes: Now that I don’t have the fat to insulate me, I get cold easily.
♥Taking the time to pet my cat, Taffy, and she likes it too.
♥Becoming best friends with humor and laughter: I have made a serious assault on humor and laughter...no way was I going to let that friendship escape! I spent year three of my journey bringing more laughter and humor into my life. When I can laugh at myself and the world around me, it’s less likely that I will eat. I did not acquire these views growing up. There are many concepts or tools I did not learn as a child that I needed to know in order to stay out of the food. It does not matter why I did not learn them. What matters is that I spent the last 19 years learning them, and have put this program together in order to share them with you.
Here’s some of what I learned about embracing more humor:
♥Laughter is very powerful medicine. It can lower stress, dissolve anger and unite families in their resolve to overcome troubled times.
♥Without humor, one's thought processes are likely to become stuck and narrowly focused leading to increased stress and the desire to numb out by overeating.
♥Nothing is good or bad. It’s my attitude toward life that determines my enjoyment or lack of it. Laughter helps me look at most things in a better light.
♥Little children laugh about 300 times a day while adults engage an average of 17 times a day. Hence, I want to grow up to be just like my 3-year old grand- daughter.
♥Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement as well as set off a number of positive physical side effects. A good hearty laugh can help:
♥reduce stress,
♥lower blood pressure,
♥elevate mood,
♥boost immune system
♥improve brain functioning,
♥protect the heart,
♥connect you to others,
♥foster instant relaxation and simply make you feel good
Laughing at my circumstances or myself helps reveal that most things are not as earth shattering as they sometimes seem to be. Oftentimes when an unpleasant event occurs, I pretend that it’s happening on a television show that I’m watching so I can distance myself and see the humor in the situation.
Humor changes the way I think, and it was my “stinking thinking” that caused my weight to soar to over 200 pounds. Consequently, with the help of my friend, Laughter, I was able to stay at under 130 pounds for over a year and a half.
The following is a list of humorous activities you “could” embrace:
♥Look for the every day humor. Start searching for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that surround you each day.
Observe infants and young children to learn how to find delight and amusement in the most ordinary things.
Increase your exposure to comedies, comic sitcoms, joke books, comedy clubs, etc.
Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.
Take a 5-10 minute humor break each day. Read jokes, add to a humor notebook, and listen to a funny tape.
If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.
Remind yourself to have fun. Spend time with those who help you see the bright side, and whenever possible, avoid people who are negative and dour.
Laughter is very contagious, pass it around; it’s a welcome healthy relief from the doldrums.
I used to feel that if I did not eat, I would surely die. I now I feel so many wonderful sensations inside me that I could explode with happiness. Sometimes I have to do something very mundane to calm all the emotions bubbling over in me brought about by how fantastic my life has become.
Now don’t get me wrong, unpleasantness happens in my life. I just don’t seem to become blindsided by it anymore. I’m going to wait until significant life problems crop up before I feel horrible, and enjoy all my blessings of which there are many. My life (where I live, where I work, many of the things I do) has not changed much in the last 19 years; however, the way I react to it was changed drastically. Before everything used to be a reason to eat, now there is no good reason to eat foods that are not good for me because “I KEEP MY FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND MY LIFE IN THE OTHER AND DON‘T MIX.”
What Loving Thing
can I do
for
Myself Today?
5
Week Five
The Lists and
“Acting As If”
My Yellow List - Week Five
Rewrite your Yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow and Red Lists “could” be getting closer in size
1.____________________________ 8.____________________________
2.____________________________ 9.____________________________
3._____________________________ 10.____________________________
4.______________________________ 11.____________________________
5._____________________________ 12.____________________________
6._____________________________ 13.____________________________
7._____________________________ 14.____________________________
♥A day can begin at anytime, especially with your Yellow List, just because you needed the help of your Yellow List doesn’t mean you have to wait until morning to put it back on the shelf. Your Yellow List is to be used only when absolutely necessary, it’s your choice if you abuse it. At anytime, you can choose to begin again, even at this very moment.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Five
1. ____________________________ 7._________________________
2. ____________________________ 8. _________________________
3. ____________________________ 9. _________________________
4. ___________________________ 10. _________________________
5.____________________________ 11. _________________________
6. _____________________________12. _________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. This list “could” be between five to twelve items long now.
♥I have a hard fast rule about food at work, if I don’t bring it, I don’t eat it. In the beginning, I used to eat foods that others brought as long as they were on my plan. Then I noticed, I had more control over my addict when I adhered to the rule, if I don’t bring it I don’t eat it. The less talking I can keep my addict from doing, the better my chances of having a Thin and Serene Life.
♥I used to feel a little sorry for my addict because she needed so much food to be happy, then came the realization that she did not want the food let alone need it, she just wanted me to want it. Needless to say that totally stopped any sorry feelings I was wasting on her.
♥When events in your life surface that you want to eat over, write down what they are on a piece of paper and slip it into you life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food which is safe and in a separate pocket. Again the most important tool I can give you is: “KEEP YOUR FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER; AND DON‘T MIX.”
My Green List - Week Five
Your Green List is similar to last week. Keep in mind that the more exact you can be, the more space you will be putting between you and your addict.
1. Just a reminder that most of our bodies do not know the difference between hunger and thirst and your addict will always try to convince you into believing it’s food you need. As a result of this, you need to be proactive when it comes to water. The basic rule of thumb is that you need eight, eight ounce glasses a day. My understanding is that you can count skim milk and decaffeinated teas as part of this because they are mostly water. Thus, you need to add five more glasses throughout your day.
2. For lunch and dinner keep your vegetables at exactly twelve ounces.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Knowing in your head that a becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
5. My food plan (just in case you’re interested)
Feel free to adopt my food plan if it interests you.
Breakfast-4 ounces protein
12 ounces fruit
Lunch-5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Dinner-5 ounces protein
24 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
My food plan is exactly weighed all the time, everywhere. This is the extreme I have to go to, to live a Thin and Serene Life. And it’s a small price to pay for the life, weighing my food has given me. I have been adhering to this food plan No Matter What (with some small changes to adjust for weight fluctuations) for over 657 days (two years on July 21, 2006).
♥If you haven’t already, it’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count. Keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few things your addict respects.
Activity
Try some herbal tea. Its counts towards meeting your water needs. I especially like apple cinnamon herbal tea with stevia to add sweetness. The smaller I’ve gotten the more easily I become cold and the herbal tea warms me up.
“You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people are going to treat you better.
You’re going to find, yes you will
That you’re as beautiful as you feel”
Carole King
There’s magic in behaving the way we want to be even though we don’t feel it yet. “Act As If” by changing your actions, then let them lead the way. Your attitude, mind and life will follow.
Many days I did not get up feeling happy, joyous and free, but I found the days I put a smile on my face, even if it was pasted at first, by midday I was feeling much better.
I used to challenge myself to drive all the way to work with a smile on my face. It’s like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I also took note of how many others were not smiling on the way to work. The fact is that most people look pretty serious or downright unhappy as they drive to work.
I also tried smiling at others everywhere I went to see how people would react. I even tried it while running in Central Park while visiting New York. I don’t think I got anyone to smile there. Maybe they thought I was a mugger or something.
Smiling is putting out positive energy, and I have found that whatever force I put out, is what I’m going to get back. If I display negative energy, that’s what will return two-fold. So I vote for putting out positive energy especially if I might get it back double. I have always liked two for one especially when it came to food sales. In my other life, a two for one sale was reason enough to buy any food item even if I didn’t really even like it, let alone need it.
At one time, the Sears in our area used to label their merchandise good, better, and best. As far as they were concerned, everything in their store was high quality. Now you and I know that even Sears carries some items that are less than good so I decided if Sears could “Act As If” everything was at least good then so could I. This tool has been paramount in helping me feel better about myself because even on so-called “bad” days, I chose to call them good. This little “Acting As If” attitude was a huge step forward in my beginning to love myself.
You took a big step, too, when you started labeling your days with stars. Notice that every day is at least labeled “good” as represented by each day having a minimum of one star. My experience has been that if I act like something is a certain way long enough, eventually the magic of “Acting As If” turns it that way. This is at least is determined by our attitude, which is eighty percent of the battle.
You might have wondered why in my guide almost every time I mention the word “could” I put it in parentheses. Here’s the reason: I have removed the word “should” from my vocabulary and replaced it with the word “could“. I’ve found “should” to be a shaming world. When I “should” on myself, I feel “less than” and anything that makes me feel “less than” is tainted by my addict. My caution to you is to think twice before using the word “should“. You might notice I have been very careful about my use of “should” in this guide because in no way do I wish to make you feel “less than.”
“Act As If”
And
Eventually it Will Become Real
The Lists and
“Acting As If”
My Yellow List - Week Five
Rewrite your Yellow list adding any new items that “could” interfere with your journey. Your Yellow and Red Lists “could” be getting closer in size
1.____________________________ 8.____________________________
2.____________________________ 9.____________________________
3._____________________________ 10.____________________________
4.______________________________ 11.____________________________
5._____________________________ 12.____________________________
6._____________________________ 13.____________________________
7._____________________________ 14.____________________________
♥A day can begin at anytime, especially with your Yellow List, just because you needed the help of your Yellow List doesn’t mean you have to wait until morning to put it back on the shelf. Your Yellow List is to be used only when absolutely necessary, it’s your choice if you abuse it. At anytime, you can choose to begin again, even at this very moment.
My No Matter What Red List - Week Five
1. ____________________________ 7._________________________
2. ____________________________ 8. _________________________
3. ____________________________ 9. _________________________
4. ___________________________ 10. _________________________
5.____________________________ 11. _________________________
6. _____________________________12. _________________________
♥It’s time to take another item from your Yellow List and transfer it to your
No Matter What Red List. This list “could” be between five to twelve items long now.
♥I have a hard fast rule about food at work, if I don’t bring it, I don’t eat it. In the beginning, I used to eat foods that others brought as long as they were on my plan. Then I noticed, I had more control over my addict when I adhered to the rule, if I don’t bring it I don’t eat it. The less talking I can keep my addict from doing, the better my chances of having a Thin and Serene Life.
♥I used to feel a little sorry for my addict because she needed so much food to be happy, then came the realization that she did not want the food let alone need it, she just wanted me to want it. Needless to say that totally stopped any sorry feelings I was wasting on her.
♥When events in your life surface that you want to eat over, write down what they are on a piece of paper and slip it into you life pocket to signify that it’s a life occurrence and has nothing to do with your food which is safe and in a separate pocket. Again the most important tool I can give you is: “KEEP YOUR FOOD IN ONE POCKET AND YOUR LIFE IN THE OTHER; AND DON‘T MIX.”
My Green List - Week Five
Your Green List is similar to last week. Keep in mind that the more exact you can be, the more space you will be putting between you and your addict.
1. Just a reminder that most of our bodies do not know the difference between hunger and thirst and your addict will always try to convince you into believing it’s food you need. As a result of this, you need to be proactive when it comes to water. The basic rule of thumb is that you need eight, eight ounce glasses a day. My understanding is that you can count skim milk and decaffeinated teas as part of this because they are mostly water. Thus, you need to add five more glasses throughout your day.
2. For lunch and dinner keep your vegetables at exactly twelve ounces.
3. Suggested food plan
Breakfast- 4 ounces protein
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb..
Lunch- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Optional small serving starchy carb
Dinner- 5 ounces protein
12 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
3. You need to continue having at least four hours between your meals.
Remember being exact is the best defense against your addict.
4. Knowing in your head that a becoming Thin and Serene is an
inside job.
5. My food plan (just in case you’re interested)
Feel free to adopt my food plan if it interests you.
Breakfast-4 ounces protein
12 ounces fruit
Lunch-5 ounces protein
16 ounces vegetables
1 ounce fat
8 ounces fruit
Dinner-5 ounces protein
24 ounces vegetables
1.5 ounces fat
8 ounces fruit
My food plan is exactly weighed all the time, everywhere. This is the extreme I have to go to, to live a Thin and Serene Life. And it’s a small price to pay for the life, weighing my food has given me. I have been adhering to this food plan No Matter What (with some small changes to adjust for weight fluctuations) for over 657 days (two years on July 21, 2006).
♥If you haven’t already, it’s time to start thinking about making your exactly weighed vegetables part of your No Matter What Day Count. Keeping in mind that exactness is one of the few things your addict respects.
Activity
Try some herbal tea. Its counts towards meeting your water needs. I especially like apple cinnamon herbal tea with stevia to add sweetness. The smaller I’ve gotten the more easily I become cold and the herbal tea warms me up.
“You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people are going to treat you better.
You’re going to find, yes you will
That you’re as beautiful as you feel”
Carole King
There’s magic in behaving the way we want to be even though we don’t feel it yet. “Act As If” by changing your actions, then let them lead the way. Your attitude, mind and life will follow.
Many days I did not get up feeling happy, joyous and free, but I found the days I put a smile on my face, even if it was pasted at first, by midday I was feeling much better.
I used to challenge myself to drive all the way to work with a smile on my face. It’s like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I also took note of how many others were not smiling on the way to work. The fact is that most people look pretty serious or downright unhappy as they drive to work.
I also tried smiling at others everywhere I went to see how people would react. I even tried it while running in Central Park while visiting New York. I don’t think I got anyone to smile there. Maybe they thought I was a mugger or something.
Smiling is putting out positive energy, and I have found that whatever force I put out, is what I’m going to get back. If I display negative energy, that’s what will return two-fold. So I vote for putting out positive energy especially if I might get it back double. I have always liked two for one especially when it came to food sales. In my other life, a two for one sale was reason enough to buy any food item even if I didn’t really even like it, let alone need it.
At one time, the Sears in our area used to label their merchandise good, better, and best. As far as they were concerned, everything in their store was high quality. Now you and I know that even Sears carries some items that are less than good so I decided if Sears could “Act As If” everything was at least good then so could I. This tool has been paramount in helping me feel better about myself because even on so-called “bad” days, I chose to call them good. This little “Acting As If” attitude was a huge step forward in my beginning to love myself.
You took a big step, too, when you started labeling your days with stars. Notice that every day is at least labeled “good” as represented by each day having a minimum of one star. My experience has been that if I act like something is a certain way long enough, eventually the magic of “Acting As If” turns it that way. This is at least is determined by our attitude, which is eighty percent of the battle.
You might have wondered why in my guide almost every time I mention the word “could” I put it in parentheses. Here’s the reason: I have removed the word “should” from my vocabulary and replaced it with the word “could“. I’ve found “should” to be a shaming world. When I “should” on myself, I feel “less than” and anything that makes me feel “less than” is tainted by my addict. My caution to you is to think twice before using the word “should“. You might notice I have been very careful about my use of “should” in this guide because in no way do I wish to make you feel “less than.”
“Act As If”
And
Eventually it Will Become Real
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